Virtual Relapse

Well, if there is such a thing as 'Virtual Relapse,' then I am over it and back on track now. I actually DID READ some of those articles about Scotch, Scotch Whiskey, etc.

YUK!

I was reading these and remembering how AWFUL that stuff tastes and worse - how AWFUL it smells! I couldn't believe the way that the liquor was being described in the articles.

Unfortunately, some people are LOOKING for those articles and those liquors. I had to remind myself that some people don't get carried away when they drink. I still don't understand why they don't, on more than an academic level.

There was a 'liquor' tasting guide in the package and I was reading that, simply amazed that there are people whose JOBS require them to 'taste' liquor and then SPIT IT OUT!

Man - that would never happen if I ever got hold of REAL liquor.

I thought, at first, that the articles were having a 'trigger' effect on me, but when I got to the article that explained 'liquor tasting' events and parties, I actually learned about contrasts.

The contrasts:

* My still-twisted perception about liquor versus 'just tasting' liquors.

Unfortunately, I will never fall into the second group and will never attempt to follow what was written in the articles, however, it was interesting to read from the point of view of someone NOT affected with addiction.

I applied what I read to a 'cooking' and 'tasting' contest - like a 'bake-off' and found that those really are the kinds of words in the articles, the kinds of points of view that the writer must have been coming from.

Once I could do that, things took on a newer and better meaning.

I think that I am less angry about people WHO CAN drink safely now. I have had a bit of apprehension before about being around people who can have 1 or 2 drinks and then stop.

I realize that partly, this was an anger toward them - about people being able to ingest substances, while I can never touch them again. Hopefully, this anger is gone now. I hope so because it was a confusing feeling to be around friends who might accept a beer with a supper meal while we were dining at a restaurant or something.

Probably, I won't ever feel really comfortable around anyone who drinks, even if they are just having a single beer or hi-ball, but I understand now that THEY CAN.

THEY CAN because they are MINUS the quirk and sickness that makes alcoholics - Alcoholics!

I have asked non-addict friends before - to tell me about why they can drink and I can't - why their experience is different than mine. Up until now, I think that my friends, because they know I cannot drink, they have given only part-truthful answers while being afraid to answer completely openly. Now they don't have to because I know.

I read about it.

That's enough for me.

You May Have a Drinking Problem...

(Joking - but some of this is NOT funny - some of it is how an active alcoholic or addict actually thinks, on occasion! Or, rather - some of these are the jokes that alcoholics will go ahead and brush off - just so they can continue to see drinking as a funny endeavor...I hope it doesn't offend - hope some of it makes you LAUGH)

YOU MAY HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM IF:

* You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
* Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
* The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the
bar.
* Every person you see has an exact twin.
* Vampires catch a buzz after attacking you.
* Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
* That damned pink elephant followed me home again.
* You have a reserved parking space at the liquor store.
* The glass keeps missing your mouth.
* Every night you're beginning to find your cat more and more
attractive.
* You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the
earth.
* Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw
dinner!
* At A.A, meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
* Hi ocifer. I'm not under the affluence of incohol.
* Waking up with a traffic cone between your legs.
* You can't remember what your family looks like or if you
have a family.
* You loose your car at least once a week.
* You think alcohol abuse is spilling your drink.
* On the way to the bathroom, someone's always stepping on
your hands.
* You don't have any friends, just drinking buddies.
* You quit calling in sick. You let your wife do it.
* You pee in the kitchen sink while mixing another drink.
* Selling beer cans seems like a weekly bonus.
* You celebrate getting out of jail by getting drunk.
* You decorate your Christmas tree with chains of beer tabs.
* No visit to a friend's house is complete until you've puked
on their carpet.
* Your job is interfering with your drinking.
* The toilet seat keeps hitting you in the back of the head.
* You think the sun shining in your face is God's flashlight
telling you to get up and go home.
* You throw-up on purpose so you can hold more.
* It's normal to drive with one eye shut so not to see double.
* You order a keg of beer for your kid's first birthday
party.
* You measure distance by how many beers it takes to get there.
* Your main prayer is "God, get me out of this and I'll never
drink again".
* You think your only drinking problem is when you're out.

Sadly, a few years ago, a couple of these statements were more true than funny for me, personally.

"My job interfered with my drinking" and "You don't have any friends, just drinking buddies," for instance.

I'm glad I don't have to worry 'bout that last one on the list anymore!

*whew*

Couple Of Jokes

Couple of ladies go into town for the day to do some shopping. They meet up
later in the liquor store. Hey Mary, how ya doing? says Cathy. Oh, pretty
good says Mary, I just got a case of beer for Johnny. Wow, says Cathy, Good
trade!

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last
of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several
false alarm trips to the bathroom, he figured that the latest episode was
just that, so he stayed put. Suddenly, however, he filled his bed with
diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a
complete loss of composure, he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed
sheets, and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking by the
hospital when the sheets landed on him. The drunk started yelling,
stumbling, and swinging his arms violently, in an attempt to free himself of
the sheets. He ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his
feet. As the drunk stood there, staring down at the sheets, A hospital
security guard who had witnessed the entire incident, walked up to him and
asked, "What the heck is going on?" The drunk, still staring down at the
sheets, replied, "I think I just beat the crap out of a ghost."

Alcohol Surveys

Hey People!

I don't know if you ever receive these - or how many 'mailing lists' you're on - but I just received almost a DOZEN 'spam-mail' surveys in the past day.

ALL of this spam pertains to surveys wanting to know my preferences for certain alcoholic beverages! All stuff I cannot drink.

Haha!

Darn - now that I am sober and recovering, I am not going to win the following prizes:

* a 1.5Gig MP3 Player
* 12 Free Hardcover books with the purchase of 1 book for only $4.99US
* a package of coupons redeemable at some USA location that I can't get to (for Wine products)
* a Coors Light cooler
* a ('nother beer company) ballcap w/matching T-shirt
* sports tickets for 2 to some US game that I can't get to anyway (lol)
* $100 cash, redeemable with 6 (Beer brand) proofs of purchase
And a Kokanee bottle opener if I just print a coupon out and take it to a participating liquor store haha.

I'm kinda ticked off 'bout losing that MP3 Player - however, the money I save by not drinking ought to allow me to buy a whole bunch of batteries now for my old MP3 Player, eh?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh It's good to be sober tho'.....

Have a great day!