One of the hardest times of year for people to stay sober is during the Christmas season. It's the biggest holiday of the year, with no doubts, and people 'full of good cheer' tend to:
* Take more time off since 2 stat holidays are in close succession (New Year's added)
* Feel obligated, through media ads, commercials, etc., to be 'in the spirit' of Xmas
* Spend more money at this time of year
* Visit family for the occasions of "Christmas Celebrations" and "New Years Parties"
* Have parties both with family/friends but also through workplaces
There are a number of other things that we see ONLY AT CHRISTMAS time and, unfortunately, most of the activities around this time of year don't actually MIX together well to make for happy times...
The fact that there are 2 holiday occasions a week apart - 2 of the most SIGNIFICANT events of the year, hands down - means that:
* Finances are rough for almost everyone
* People overspend
* Often the 2 holiday occassions are connected with each other on peoples' schedules and if one is stressful (Christmas) the tension simply carries over to the next (New Years).
* People often spend much more time with family at this time than at other times of the year, so family tensions invariably run high - it's not always that people don't LIKE their families...but when we grow up, move away from home and do other normal life activities, we get used to "our life" and often don't have the familiarity and patience with family that we used to when we lived at home. THIS IS NORMAL. But almost everyone says, during the Christmas Season - that is IT IS NOT RIGHT to have differences of opinion during this season...
* People EXCUSE the behaviors of family and friends (and employers and co-workers, etc) during this time of year, noting that we are all supposed to be partaking of the 'holiday spirit' of kindness, forgiveness, etc (blah blah blah)...IF we are not practicing these things YEAR ROUND, all the time, then a WEEK OF THIS ACTIVITY during Christmas and New Years is STRESSFUL AND UNCOMFORTABLE for most of us!
...slide youself some slack this Christmas season - Take care of yourself - especially if you have decided you want a sober life.
Here are a few things you can do to protect yourself and your sobriety this season:
* MAKE A SAFETY PLAN !
This is in case people buy you drinks or coax you to drink.
This is in case people around you drink too much this season, even if you don't.
This is in case there are family or social tensions during the season, which might make you feel like you need to drink to calm down.
This is JUST TO BE SAFER THAN PEOPLE WHO AREN'T MAKING PLANS to look after themselves, because - even if they are not drinkers, many people IGNORE their basic needs of sleep, standing up for themselves with family, saying 'no' to the extra cost of things related to Christmas and New Years. If you are a recovering addict, you have to THINK SAFE more than some other people do, that's all.
Here are a few things that I have done as a safety plan.
* Created 'scripts' for potentially uncomfortable situations
* Selected a 'stressbuster' friend to call when things are going rough
* Planned decent sleep times and EXTRA NAP TIME (excitement and visiting is hard on the system)
* Located meetings - of any variety, so that I could attend if stress became an issue
* Made "enough" points to stick to ("have had enough excitement - time to go lay down," or "have had enough of being around a person who is drinking, so I am going to watch TV in another room," or "have had 'enough' Christmas visiting for the day and evening, it's Midnight and it's time for bed)
* Selected a secondary 'sponsor-like' person to call if my first was unavailable - or just in case I needed two support people
* Mandatory visit with sober group of people just prior to visiting family, just to reaffirm that there are A LOT OF PEOPLE who do not drink in this world
A bit on 'scripts' and then I'll close out this post:
* I created 'scripts' for my first sober Christmas - for family situations that seemed to happen every year. This way, I had a response ready and didn't have to think about responding. Sometimes this was just to say "No" to family members who asked me to get drinks for them during the holiday season.
* You know that it's time for a script in situations where people have said "Hey, grab me a drink on your way back to the room," and you nod, without thinking, and plan to fill the request. In early sobriety, this can actually be a dilemma, and people may never have heard you say, "No, I won't do that - please get your own drink" before. And sometimes, people won't even accept this small difference of response from you, do be prepared to have someone look at you like you just grew an ear on your chin and a second head from your elbow lol. Even for something this simple, a 'script' helps YOU. However else someone ELSE reacts to YOUR new, healthier response is really their choice.
This scripting is really helpful and is mainly just thinking AHEAD OF TIME about how to react to situations you are quire sure will occur.
--don't go overboard with this and try to develop a response for EVERYTHING or you'll worry yourself needlessly, but if there are situations that seem to occur every year or some expectations that you know that family members (of friends) had of you when you were a drinker...these are things you can make 'scripts' - new responses - for this season.
Showing posts with label alcoholic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alcoholic. Show all posts
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
You May Have a Drinking Problem...
(Joking - but some of this is NOT funny - some of it is how an active alcoholic or addict actually thinks, on occasion! Or, rather - some of these are the jokes that alcoholics will go ahead and brush off - just so they can continue to see drinking as a funny endeavor...I hope it doesn't offend - hope some of it makes you LAUGH)
YOU MAY HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM IF:
* You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
* Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
* The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the
bar.
* Every person you see has an exact twin.
* Vampires catch a buzz after attacking you.
* Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
* That damned pink elephant followed me home again.
* You have a reserved parking space at the liquor store.
* The glass keeps missing your mouth.
* Every night you're beginning to find your cat more and more
attractive.
* You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the
earth.
* Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw
dinner!
* At A.A, meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
* Hi ocifer. I'm not under the affluence of incohol.
* Waking up with a traffic cone between your legs.
* You can't remember what your family looks like or if you
have a family.
* You loose your car at least once a week.
* You think alcohol abuse is spilling your drink.
* On the way to the bathroom, someone's always stepping on
your hands.
* You don't have any friends, just drinking buddies.
* You quit calling in sick. You let your wife do it.
* You pee in the kitchen sink while mixing another drink.
* Selling beer cans seems like a weekly bonus.
* You celebrate getting out of jail by getting drunk.
* You decorate your Christmas tree with chains of beer tabs.
* No visit to a friend's house is complete until you've puked
on their carpet.
* Your job is interfering with your drinking.
* The toilet seat keeps hitting you in the back of the head.
* You think the sun shining in your face is God's flashlight
telling you to get up and go home.
* You throw-up on purpose so you can hold more.
* It's normal to drive with one eye shut so not to see double.
* You order a keg of beer for your kid's first birthday
party.
* You measure distance by how many beers it takes to get there.
* Your main prayer is "God, get me out of this and I'll never
drink again".
* You think your only drinking problem is when you're out.
Sadly, a few years ago, a couple of these statements were more true than funny for me, personally.
"My job interfered with my drinking" and "You don't have any friends, just drinking buddies," for instance.
I'm glad I don't have to worry 'bout that last one on the list anymore!
*whew*
YOU MAY HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM IF:
* You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
* Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
* The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the
bar.
* Every person you see has an exact twin.
* Vampires catch a buzz after attacking you.
* Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
* That damned pink elephant followed me home again.
* You have a reserved parking space at the liquor store.
* The glass keeps missing your mouth.
* Every night you're beginning to find your cat more and more
attractive.
* You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the
earth.
* Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw
dinner!
* At A.A, meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
* Hi ocifer. I'm not under the affluence of incohol.
* Waking up with a traffic cone between your legs.
* You can't remember what your family looks like or if you
have a family.
* You loose your car at least once a week.
* You think alcohol abuse is spilling your drink.
* On the way to the bathroom, someone's always stepping on
your hands.
* You don't have any friends, just drinking buddies.
* You quit calling in sick. You let your wife do it.
* You pee in the kitchen sink while mixing another drink.
* Selling beer cans seems like a weekly bonus.
* You celebrate getting out of jail by getting drunk.
* You decorate your Christmas tree with chains of beer tabs.
* No visit to a friend's house is complete until you've puked
on their carpet.
* Your job is interfering with your drinking.
* The toilet seat keeps hitting you in the back of the head.
* You think the sun shining in your face is God's flashlight
telling you to get up and go home.
* You throw-up on purpose so you can hold more.
* It's normal to drive with one eye shut so not to see double.
* You order a keg of beer for your kid's first birthday
party.
* You measure distance by how many beers it takes to get there.
* Your main prayer is "God, get me out of this and I'll never
drink again".
* You think your only drinking problem is when you're out.
Sadly, a few years ago, a couple of these statements were more true than funny for me, personally.
"My job interfered with my drinking" and "You don't have any friends, just drinking buddies," for instance.
I'm glad I don't have to worry 'bout that last one on the list anymore!
*whew*
Couple Of Jokes
Couple of ladies go into town for the day to do some shopping. They meet up
later in the liquor store. Hey Mary, how ya doing? says Cathy. Oh, pretty
good says Mary, I just got a case of beer for Johnny. Wow, says Cathy, Good
trade!
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last
of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several
false alarm trips to the bathroom, he figured that the latest episode was
just that, so he stayed put. Suddenly, however, he filled his bed with
diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a
complete loss of composure, he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed
sheets, and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking by the
hospital when the sheets landed on him. The drunk started yelling,
stumbling, and swinging his arms violently, in an attempt to free himself of
the sheets. He ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his
feet. As the drunk stood there, staring down at the sheets, A hospital
security guard who had witnessed the entire incident, walked up to him and
asked, "What the heck is going on?" The drunk, still staring down at the
sheets, replied, "I think I just beat the crap out of a ghost."
later in the liquor store. Hey Mary, how ya doing? says Cathy. Oh, pretty
good says Mary, I just got a case of beer for Johnny. Wow, says Cathy, Good
trade!
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last
of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several
false alarm trips to the bathroom, he figured that the latest episode was
just that, so he stayed put. Suddenly, however, he filled his bed with
diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a
complete loss of composure, he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed
sheets, and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking by the
hospital when the sheets landed on him. The drunk started yelling,
stumbling, and swinging his arms violently, in an attempt to free himself of
the sheets. He ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his
feet. As the drunk stood there, staring down at the sheets, A hospital
security guard who had witnessed the entire incident, walked up to him and
asked, "What the heck is going on?" The drunk, still staring down at the
sheets, replied, "I think I just beat the crap out of a ghost."
Drunks Tick me off and Drunks With Dogs Joke
I'm not feeling very serious lately. Well, I'm cranky, actually...
About my recovery 'Yes-serious'
About things in general 'No' - no serious allowed.
I've had a bad week, so I started looking up jokes to cheer myself up.
I'm cranky because - a drunk neighbor nearly burned down our apartments last Saturday when he passed out with food in the oven, so I have had my fill of 'serious' this week. To boot, doc says I will be sick for a while (NO really effective meds I can take because I screwed up for 20+ years as an addict and cannot take most drugs without risk of addiction to the prescriptions - grr) because I have to heal naturally. *coughcough* Heck - there was no fire at all, either - just a lot of SMOKE. I woke the guy up before anything began to 'flame,' but the smoke was pretty brutal at the time and I had to leave my apartment for 2 hours before I could breathe in my own place again.
This proves:
Drinking can affect even people who aren't family or friends!
Starting or almost starting a fire because you're so fried on dope and alcohol - is very much like driving drunk then, isn't it? The drunk/druggie doesn't think their problem is anyone else's...but really
IT IS anyone around them that shares in the problem.
Now - my health problems, for however long they last 'til I heal up, stop having headaches and extra coughing, etc...are my problem - because I'm clean but someone else who lives beside me won't clean up their act!
I wasn't going to bring this to my blog and just bytch about it...but I've been hangin' on to it since Saturday and really...
It's a pretty pertinent topic for the blog, don't you think?
Anyhow - that's my blurb about bein' bytchy and sick...and also - here's a li'l info 'bout how being bytchy and sick can affect thinking when you're in recovery...
(something that I had to work on for a while JUST NOW 'cos this is the stuff that can make addicts in recovery - go back out and use)
... since I am up in the middle of the night from medication that I CAN TAKE which makes me jittery and wakes me up - and I was otherwise probably going to wake up from coughing anyway...I decided not to just lay there and feel kinda sick - I got up and started reading. I got even crankier than expected, really quick-like and homework sucked after about an hour... I slammed the books shut and got to wondering why I sobered up in order to live near an addict who keeps causing *coughcough* apartment problems blahblahblah (told ya I'm sick'n'cranky, eh?)...and finally, I started thinkin' that I might as well have gone to the bar last weekend and caused my OWN PROBLEMS with booze. I figured for a while it was starting to make sense that way because - so long as I don't have any control over OTHER PEOPLE but they can SERIOUSLY AFFECT my life with THEIR BOOZE and DRUG problems...blahblahblah it was just getting worse 'cos I am *coughcough* tired and cranky and it's the middle of the night...
It was all just stinkin' thinkin'...
SO I HAD TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS...
Just spent the last hour IGNORING HOMEWORK and reading JOKES!
NOW I still feel kinda cranky and kinda sick - but feeling NOT SERIOUS AT ALL...
Plus...I don't think, anymore, that I should have just gone to the bar last weekend, etc, etc...that was just bytchy pity thinkin' from a little while ago and I'm glad I'm over that...
SO anyhow...here's a joke I thought was kinda cute...
Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a doberman and the other,
a chihuahua. As they walked down the street, the one with the doberman said
to her friend, Let's go over to that bar for a drink. The lady with the
chihuahua said, We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us. The one with
the doberman said, Just watch, and do as I do. They walked over to the bar
and the one with the doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to
walk in. The bouncer at the door said, Sorry, lady, no pets allowed. The
woman with the doberman said, You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye
dog. The bouncer said, A doberman? The woman said, Yes, they're using them
now. They're very good. The bouncer said, OK, come on in. The lady with the
chihuahua thought that convincing him that a chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog
may be a bit more difficult, but thought, what the heck, so she put on her
dark glasses and started to walk in. Once again the bouncer said, Sorry,
lady, no pets allowed. The woman said, You don't understand. This is my
seeing-eye dog. The bouncer said, A chihuahua? The woman with the chihuahua
said, A chihuahua? The bastards sold me a chihuahua?
I'm glad I didn't just lay around when I couldn't sleep 'cos that's when 'sick and tired of it' thoughts and 'stinking thinking' thoughts occur - and I'm glad I got up to read some cool jokes. Now I'm tired but laughing.
Wow - what a screwed up post, eh?
I'm outta here - got more jokes to read.
About my recovery 'Yes-serious'
About things in general 'No' - no serious allowed.
I've had a bad week, so I started looking up jokes to cheer myself up.
I'm cranky because - a drunk neighbor nearly burned down our apartments last Saturday when he passed out with food in the oven, so I have had my fill of 'serious' this week. To boot, doc says I will be sick for a while (NO really effective meds I can take because I screwed up for 20+ years as an addict and cannot take most drugs without risk of addiction to the prescriptions - grr) because I have to heal naturally. *coughcough* Heck - there was no fire at all, either - just a lot of SMOKE. I woke the guy up before anything began to 'flame,' but the smoke was pretty brutal at the time and I had to leave my apartment for 2 hours before I could breathe in my own place again.
This proves:
Drinking can affect even people who aren't family or friends!
Starting or almost starting a fire because you're so fried on dope and alcohol - is very much like driving drunk then, isn't it? The drunk/druggie doesn't think their problem is anyone else's...but really
IT IS anyone around them that shares in the problem.
Now - my health problems, for however long they last 'til I heal up, stop having headaches and extra coughing, etc...are my problem - because I'm clean but someone else who lives beside me won't clean up their act!
I wasn't going to bring this to my blog and just bytch about it...but I've been hangin' on to it since Saturday and really...
It's a pretty pertinent topic for the blog, don't you think?
Anyhow - that's my blurb about bein' bytchy and sick...and also - here's a li'l info 'bout how being bytchy and sick can affect thinking when you're in recovery...
(something that I had to work on for a while JUST NOW 'cos this is the stuff that can make addicts in recovery - go back out and use)
... since I am up in the middle of the night from medication that I CAN TAKE which makes me jittery and wakes me up - and I was otherwise probably going to wake up from coughing anyway...I decided not to just lay there and feel kinda sick - I got up and started reading. I got even crankier than expected, really quick-like and homework sucked after about an hour... I slammed the books shut and got to wondering why I sobered up in order to live near an addict who keeps causing *coughcough* apartment problems blahblahblah (told ya I'm sick'n'cranky, eh?)...and finally, I started thinkin' that I might as well have gone to the bar last weekend and caused my OWN PROBLEMS with booze. I figured for a while it was starting to make sense that way because - so long as I don't have any control over OTHER PEOPLE but they can SERIOUSLY AFFECT my life with THEIR BOOZE and DRUG problems...blahblahblah it was just getting worse 'cos I am *coughcough* tired and cranky and it's the middle of the night...
It was all just stinkin' thinkin'...
SO I HAD TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS...
Just spent the last hour IGNORING HOMEWORK and reading JOKES!
NOW I still feel kinda cranky and kinda sick - but feeling NOT SERIOUS AT ALL...
Plus...I don't think, anymore, that I should have just gone to the bar last weekend, etc, etc...that was just bytchy pity thinkin' from a little while ago and I'm glad I'm over that...
SO anyhow...here's a joke I thought was kinda cute...
Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a doberman and the other,
a chihuahua. As they walked down the street, the one with the doberman said
to her friend, Let's go over to that bar for a drink. The lady with the
chihuahua said, We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us. The one with
the doberman said, Just watch, and do as I do. They walked over to the bar
and the one with the doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to
walk in. The bouncer at the door said, Sorry, lady, no pets allowed. The
woman with the doberman said, You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye
dog. The bouncer said, A doberman? The woman said, Yes, they're using them
now. They're very good. The bouncer said, OK, come on in. The lady with the
chihuahua thought that convincing him that a chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog
may be a bit more difficult, but thought, what the heck, so she put on her
dark glasses and started to walk in. Once again the bouncer said, Sorry,
lady, no pets allowed. The woman said, You don't understand. This is my
seeing-eye dog. The bouncer said, A chihuahua? The woman with the chihuahua
said, A chihuahua? The bastards sold me a chihuahua?
I'm glad I didn't just lay around when I couldn't sleep 'cos that's when 'sick and tired of it' thoughts and 'stinking thinking' thoughts occur - and I'm glad I got up to read some cool jokes. Now I'm tired but laughing.
Wow - what a screwed up post, eh?
I'm outta here - got more jokes to read.
The Wrong Way To Consider 12-Steps
Just Joking Here
LOL
Read!
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has completed their aftercare.
Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not learn our
numerous slogans, and go to 90 meetings in 90 days. They are usually
men and women who are constitutionally incapable of forming meaningful
relationships in treatment centers. There are such unfortunates.
They are not at fault; their therapist told them so. They are naturally
incapable of grasping and developing a relationship with a vulnerable
newcomer. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too,
who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them
do recover if they have the capacity to form meaningful relationships.
Our stories disclose in a general way: how we were harmed, what happened
to those who harmed us, and how we got even in the end. If you have
decided you want what we have, you obviously haven't been paying attention
to our stories. If you're still determined to get what we have and are
willing to exert minimal effort to get it--then you are ready for a
temporary sponsor.
At their first suggestion we balked. We were sure that our sponsors
didn't understand. We were determined to find a sponsor who would see
things our way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command,
we beg of you to take it easy on these old fools. Some of us have tried
to re-educate our sponsors but the result was nil until we let go of
them absolutely.
Remember that we are dealing with your ego, cunning, baffling, powerful!
Without constant praise and reassurance it is too much for us. But there
is one, and possibly more, who has all power, that one is your significant
other. May you find them now!
Half measures availed us nothing. It was time to move in together. Having
abandoned common sense completely, we asked his or her protection and care
with great expectations.
Here are the steps we took, which interpreted properly, offer a spiritual
path to staying sober and having your own way in a meaningful relationship:
1. Don't drink or get loaded. Try to ignore the fact that you've never
actually been able to do this.
2. Came to believe that the right relationship could restore us to sanity.
3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of our
significant other, assuming they had what we needed.
4 Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our significant other.
5 Complained to God, to ourselves, and to our temporary sponsors about
the exact nature of their wrongs.
6 Were entirely ready to have God remove these defective characters.
7 Humbly demanded that He find us the right significant other.
8 Made a list of everyone we found attractive and became willing to have
significant relationships with them all.
9. Made direct amends to people we believed might still be willing to
help us restore our net worth, except when their significant other was
attractive to us.
10. Continued to find fault with others and when they were wrong promptly
pointed it out.
11. Sought through prayer and manipulation to improve the behavior of our
significant other, praying for knowledge of all their hot buttons and
just the right time to push them.
12. Having gotten our own way as the result of these steps, we tried to
convince our significant other that this was really for their own good,
and that their future happiness lay in doing my will.
Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! They won't go through with it."
Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to do this with just
one partner. Fortunately the treatment centers, meetings, and social
activities are full of prospects who are not saints. The point is, that
we are willing to keep replacing partners until we find one or more who
will do it our way.
The principles we have set down have proven themselves in coffee shops,
clubhouses, and meetings across the land. We claim personal development
rather than personal perfection.
Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the wives, and our
personal difficulties before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and it wasn't our fault.
(b) That our current therapist and significant other could not relieve
our alcoholism.
(c) That the right partner could and would if they were sought.
:)
LOL
Read!
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has completed their aftercare.
Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not learn our
numerous slogans, and go to 90 meetings in 90 days. They are usually
men and women who are constitutionally incapable of forming meaningful
relationships in treatment centers. There are such unfortunates.
They are not at fault; their therapist told them so. They are naturally
incapable of grasping and developing a relationship with a vulnerable
newcomer. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too,
who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them
do recover if they have the capacity to form meaningful relationships.
Our stories disclose in a general way: how we were harmed, what happened
to those who harmed us, and how we got even in the end. If you have
decided you want what we have, you obviously haven't been paying attention
to our stories. If you're still determined to get what we have and are
willing to exert minimal effort to get it--then you are ready for a
temporary sponsor.
At their first suggestion we balked. We were sure that our sponsors
didn't understand. We were determined to find a sponsor who would see
things our way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command,
we beg of you to take it easy on these old fools. Some of us have tried
to re-educate our sponsors but the result was nil until we let go of
them absolutely.
Remember that we are dealing with your ego, cunning, baffling, powerful!
Without constant praise and reassurance it is too much for us. But there
is one, and possibly more, who has all power, that one is your significant
other. May you find them now!
Half measures availed us nothing. It was time to move in together. Having
abandoned common sense completely, we asked his or her protection and care
with great expectations.
Here are the steps we took, which interpreted properly, offer a spiritual
path to staying sober and having your own way in a meaningful relationship:
1. Don't drink or get loaded. Try to ignore the fact that you've never
actually been able to do this.
2. Came to believe that the right relationship could restore us to sanity.
3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of our
significant other, assuming they had what we needed.
4 Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our significant other.
5 Complained to God, to ourselves, and to our temporary sponsors about
the exact nature of their wrongs.
6 Were entirely ready to have God remove these defective characters.
7 Humbly demanded that He find us the right significant other.
8 Made a list of everyone we found attractive and became willing to have
significant relationships with them all.
9. Made direct amends to people we believed might still be willing to
help us restore our net worth, except when their significant other was
attractive to us.
10. Continued to find fault with others and when they were wrong promptly
pointed it out.
11. Sought through prayer and manipulation to improve the behavior of our
significant other, praying for knowledge of all their hot buttons and
just the right time to push them.
12. Having gotten our own way as the result of these steps, we tried to
convince our significant other that this was really for their own good,
and that their future happiness lay in doing my will.
Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! They won't go through with it."
Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to do this with just
one partner. Fortunately the treatment centers, meetings, and social
activities are full of prospects who are not saints. The point is, that
we are willing to keep replacing partners until we find one or more who
will do it our way.
The principles we have set down have proven themselves in coffee shops,
clubhouses, and meetings across the land. We claim personal development
rather than personal perfection.
Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the wives, and our
personal difficulties before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and it wasn't our fault.
(b) That our current therapist and significant other could not relieve
our alcoholism.
(c) That the right partner could and would if they were sought.
:)
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Can You Tell Myth From Fact?
Some statments about alcoholism and addiction.
Can you tell what things are true and which are myth?
1. Beer is not as intoxicating as "hard liquor".
2. Alcohol, a depressant drug, slows down reaction time and affects judgement. The effects of alcohol (and any other drug) depends not only on the amount consumed, but also on a number of other factors such as, the past drinking experience of the user, the way in which it is consumed, the feelings and mood of the person.
3. Spider and insects who are victims of the cycle of addiction are truly a new and widespread concern among scientists who only realized in 2006 that arachnids and insects actually had a propensity for addiction. Before the 2007 film, "Spiders On Drugs," (which detailed the results of extensive studies on spiders in the Canadian Hinterlands), the world merely thought that spiders and insects were nominal, unimportant, gross little creatures - acting upon instincts - rather than exhibiting addictive and co-dependent behaviors.
4. People who drink or use drugs harm not only themselves, but others such as their families and friends who care about them. The costs are even greater if a person drinks and drives.
5. Drinking coffee or taking a cold shower are ways of sobering up quickly.
6. Eating before drinking will keep a person from getting drunk.
7. Just as many women have drinking problems as men. However, women are less likely to seek treatment because of lower self-esteem, the stigma attached to being a female drinker, and the barriers associated with family responsibilities.
8. Drinking among natives is higher than drinking among the general population.
9. Blacking out and passing out are the same thing.
10. Beer is as intoxicating as "hard liquor". The same amount of alcohol is in a 12oz. bottle of beer and 1½ oz. of "hard liquor". Sometimes these beverages affect individuals in different ways but they are just as intoxicating.
11. If a person drinks or uses other drugs, they are only hurting themselves.
12. The "Spiders On Drugs" Video is a joke project put together by US higher-education students, therefore, addict spiders, including the 'Crack Spider's Bitch,' don't really live in the Hinterlands of Canada.
13. If a person can abstain for weeks or even months between drinking bouts, he/she does not have a drinking problem.
14. Eating before and while drinking slows down the body's absorption of alcohol, but there is no magical way to keep alcohol out of the bloodstream.
15. There is no help available for people with alcohol and other drug dependency problems.
16. Passing out is when a person who has consumed alcohol loses consciousness (goes to sleep). A blackout occurs after a person consumes alcohol and doesn't remember what happened, what he/she did or said even though they are conscious. They experience chemically induced memory loss.
17. A high percentage of alcoholics are skidrow bums.
18. Drinking is not as harmful as using illegal drugs such as marijuana, LSD, etc
19. There are no short cuts to sobering up. The body metabolizes alcohol at the rate of approximately one drink per hour. Time is the only way to sober up.
20. Less than 3% of the people who have alcohol problems are skidrow bums. Alcoholism affects people of all ages, social, and economic backgrounds.
21. More men have drinking problems than women.
22. Although alcohol use is legal and more socially acceptable than using illegal drugs, it is still classified as a drug. Alcohol has the potential to be abused and is one of the most abused drugs in society. Alcohol like illegal drugs can be physically and/or psychologically addictive.
23. Research indicates that the prevalence of native drinking is approximately the same in non-native groups. However, of those who drink, more natives have an "excessive drinking" pattern rather than a "social drinking" pattern (Moss 1979, cited in Moss et al, 1985).
24. A person does not have to drink every day or every week to have a problem with alcohol. As well as looking at the amount of drinking, the effect of alcohol on a person's major life areas such as; home, friends, social, school, job, legal, leisure, medical, and financial need to be considered. If sonemone's drinking affects even one of these areas, the person should consider receiving help to keep it from causing more problems.
25. There are a wide variety of services available worldwide people with dependency problems, as well as their families. Self-Help groups (Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon, Alateen, Adult Children of Alcoholics), detoxification units for males and females, outpatient counselling services, and inpatient counselling services are all available to those who will only seek the help they require.
26. A little drinking doesn't affect driving ability.
How many of these can you guess? How many are true, how many are false or myth?
I'll come back and post the differences soon.
Just for today beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee HAPPY!!
:)
Can you tell what things are true and which are myth?
1. Beer is not as intoxicating as "hard liquor".
2. Alcohol, a depressant drug, slows down reaction time and affects judgement. The effects of alcohol (and any other drug) depends not only on the amount consumed, but also on a number of other factors such as, the past drinking experience of the user, the way in which it is consumed, the feelings and mood of the person.
3. Spider and insects who are victims of the cycle of addiction are truly a new and widespread concern among scientists who only realized in 2006 that arachnids and insects actually had a propensity for addiction. Before the 2007 film, "Spiders On Drugs," (which detailed the results of extensive studies on spiders in the Canadian Hinterlands), the world merely thought that spiders and insects were nominal, unimportant, gross little creatures - acting upon instincts - rather than exhibiting addictive and co-dependent behaviors.
4. People who drink or use drugs harm not only themselves, but others such as their families and friends who care about them. The costs are even greater if a person drinks and drives.
5. Drinking coffee or taking a cold shower are ways of sobering up quickly.
6. Eating before drinking will keep a person from getting drunk.
7. Just as many women have drinking problems as men. However, women are less likely to seek treatment because of lower self-esteem, the stigma attached to being a female drinker, and the barriers associated with family responsibilities.
8. Drinking among natives is higher than drinking among the general population.
9. Blacking out and passing out are the same thing.
10. Beer is as intoxicating as "hard liquor". The same amount of alcohol is in a 12oz. bottle of beer and 1½ oz. of "hard liquor". Sometimes these beverages affect individuals in different ways but they are just as intoxicating.
11. If a person drinks or uses other drugs, they are only hurting themselves.
12. The "Spiders On Drugs" Video is a joke project put together by US higher-education students, therefore, addict spiders, including the 'Crack Spider's Bitch,' don't really live in the Hinterlands of Canada.
13. If a person can abstain for weeks or even months between drinking bouts, he/she does not have a drinking problem.
14. Eating before and while drinking slows down the body's absorption of alcohol, but there is no magical way to keep alcohol out of the bloodstream.
15. There is no help available for people with alcohol and other drug dependency problems.
16. Passing out is when a person who has consumed alcohol loses consciousness (goes to sleep). A blackout occurs after a person consumes alcohol and doesn't remember what happened, what he/she did or said even though they are conscious. They experience chemically induced memory loss.
17. A high percentage of alcoholics are skidrow bums.
18. Drinking is not as harmful as using illegal drugs such as marijuana, LSD, etc
19. There are no short cuts to sobering up. The body metabolizes alcohol at the rate of approximately one drink per hour. Time is the only way to sober up.
20. Less than 3% of the people who have alcohol problems are skidrow bums. Alcoholism affects people of all ages, social, and economic backgrounds.
21. More men have drinking problems than women.
22. Although alcohol use is legal and more socially acceptable than using illegal drugs, it is still classified as a drug. Alcohol has the potential to be abused and is one of the most abused drugs in society. Alcohol like illegal drugs can be physically and/or psychologically addictive.
23. Research indicates that the prevalence of native drinking is approximately the same in non-native groups. However, of those who drink, more natives have an "excessive drinking" pattern rather than a "social drinking" pattern (Moss 1979, cited in Moss et al, 1985).
24. A person does not have to drink every day or every week to have a problem with alcohol. As well as looking at the amount of drinking, the effect of alcohol on a person's major life areas such as; home, friends, social, school, job, legal, leisure, medical, and financial need to be considered. If sonemone's drinking affects even one of these areas, the person should consider receiving help to keep it from causing more problems.
25. There are a wide variety of services available worldwide people with dependency problems, as well as their families. Self-Help groups (Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon, Alateen, Adult Children of Alcoholics), detoxification units for males and females, outpatient counselling services, and inpatient counselling services are all available to those who will only seek the help they require.
26. A little drinking doesn't affect driving ability.
How many of these can you guess? How many are true, how many are false or myth?
I'll come back and post the differences soon.
Just for today beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee HAPPY!!
:)
Thursday, May 17, 2007
About Women For Sobriety (Men For Sobriety, Too)
Women For Sobriety's "New Life" program is for those who would like something in addition to 12 Step programs or who would like some guiding principles instead of a 12 Step program.
WFS is a self-help program that adheres to 13 main principles/statements and accompanying affirmations:
1. I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.
Affirmation: I now take charge of my life. I accept the responsibility.
2. Negative thoughts destroy only myself.
Affirmation: My first conscious act must be to remove negativity from my life.
3. Happiness is a habit I will develop.
Affirmation: Happiness is created, not waited for.
4. Problems bother me only to the degree I permit them to.
Affirmation: I now better understand my problems and do not permit problems to overwhelm me.
5. I am what I think.
Affirmation: I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.
6. Life can be ordinary or it can be great.
Affirmation: Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.
7. Love can change the course of my world.
Affirmation: Caring becomes all important.
8. The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.
Affirmation: Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.
9. The past is gone forever.
Affirmation: No longer will I be victimized by the past, I am a new person.
10. All love given returns.
Affirmation: I will learn to know that others love me.
11. Enthusiasm is my daily exercise.
Affirmation: I treasure all moments of my new life.
12. I am a competent woman and have much to give life.
Affirmation: This is what I am and I shall know it always.
13. I am responsible for myself and for my actions.
Affirmation: I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.
These 13 items are to be used as tools to help in gaining and maintaining recovery - a more manageable and balanced lifestyle. In this, it is suggested that a person rises 15 minutes earlier each day in order to place these 'tools' into use. Go through the Thirteen Affirmations at the start of the day, meditating upon the meaning of each. Then take a single statement (alternating on different days) and use the statement 'mindfully' for the entire day. At the end of the day, review the use of the statement and determine, if possible, its effects upon your day and your actions.
WFS has been around since July 1976 and is both an organization and a self-help program. Women For Sobriety, as the title indicates is a program for women, however, there is also a program called Men For Sobriety (MFS) which is similar in nature and, of course, is for Men who are trying to put their lives back together or maintain lives that they've put back on track after the experiences of addiction.
The WFS and MFS programs, based upon the Thirteen Statements above are programs intended to promote positivity, spiritual, emotional and personal growth. These programs have been effective in helping individuals to overcome alcoholism (and other addiction) and learn to live healthier lifestyles.
The Thirteen Statements should not conflict with other programs of recovery and can be used alongside other programs if an individual so chooses to utilize multiple methods of recovery. The Thirteen Statements approach that WFS (and MFS) uses is currently being used in many clinics, treatment facilities, womens (and mens) centres, hospitals, self-help groups and many other places where alcoholics (addicts) are discovering how to overcome addiction.
The WFS and MFS are programs that each attempt to deal with some specifics of gender where addictions are concerned - because life for men and for women in society is, in fact, different. Men have pressures and situations that don't follow the same for women and vice versa.
For example, many men may not have the 'child-care' stresses that women might have and therefore, in the WFS group, women can address women's issues during their 'recovery gatherings' with a freedom that might not be possible in a both-gender setting. By comparison, men may have 'main household provider' issues that they can feel free to speak about within their male-oriented group. In this, the MFS group can more fully meet the needs of men who are trying to deal with addiction and recovery issues, where they may feel that other 'programs' aren't able to meet certain 'safe discussion' or other support needs.
This post is intended to provide information mainly about the Women For Sobriety program, however, I thought it important to mention that although WFS is a gender-specific group, this doesn't mean that Men are excluded entirely from a similar form of support and self-help opportunity. Since I would not naturally, as a female, attend a Men For Sobriety meeting or gathering, I have limited information about the program but I am working on some correspondence with men involved in the MFS group. I hope to have permission very soon to write about some experiences (maintaining anonymity, of course) with the MFS self-help organization and recovery program.
I have attended WFS meeting locally and found many of the affirmations to be helpful in my own recovery - and I use the affirmations along with other recovery principles from other programs.
WFS is a self-help program that adheres to 13 main principles/statements and accompanying affirmations:
1. I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.
Affirmation: I now take charge of my life. I accept the responsibility.
2. Negative thoughts destroy only myself.
Affirmation: My first conscious act must be to remove negativity from my life.
3. Happiness is a habit I will develop.
Affirmation: Happiness is created, not waited for.
4. Problems bother me only to the degree I permit them to.
Affirmation: I now better understand my problems and do not permit problems to overwhelm me.
5. I am what I think.
Affirmation: I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.
6. Life can be ordinary or it can be great.
Affirmation: Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.
7. Love can change the course of my world.
Affirmation: Caring becomes all important.
8. The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.
Affirmation: Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.
9. The past is gone forever.
Affirmation: No longer will I be victimized by the past, I am a new person.
10. All love given returns.
Affirmation: I will learn to know that others love me.
11. Enthusiasm is my daily exercise.
Affirmation: I treasure all moments of my new life.
12. I am a competent woman and have much to give life.
Affirmation: This is what I am and I shall know it always.
13. I am responsible for myself and for my actions.
Affirmation: I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.
These 13 items are to be used as tools to help in gaining and maintaining recovery - a more manageable and balanced lifestyle. In this, it is suggested that a person rises 15 minutes earlier each day in order to place these 'tools' into use. Go through the Thirteen Affirmations at the start of the day, meditating upon the meaning of each. Then take a single statement (alternating on different days) and use the statement 'mindfully' for the entire day. At the end of the day, review the use of the statement and determine, if possible, its effects upon your day and your actions.
WFS has been around since July 1976 and is both an organization and a self-help program. Women For Sobriety, as the title indicates is a program for women, however, there is also a program called Men For Sobriety (MFS) which is similar in nature and, of course, is for Men who are trying to put their lives back together or maintain lives that they've put back on track after the experiences of addiction.
The WFS and MFS programs, based upon the Thirteen Statements above are programs intended to promote positivity, spiritual, emotional and personal growth. These programs have been effective in helping individuals to overcome alcoholism (and other addiction) and learn to live healthier lifestyles.
The Thirteen Statements should not conflict with other programs of recovery and can be used alongside other programs if an individual so chooses to utilize multiple methods of recovery. The Thirteen Statements approach that WFS (and MFS) uses is currently being used in many clinics, treatment facilities, womens (and mens) centres, hospitals, self-help groups and many other places where alcoholics (addicts) are discovering how to overcome addiction.
The WFS and MFS are programs that each attempt to deal with some specifics of gender where addictions are concerned - because life for men and for women in society is, in fact, different. Men have pressures and situations that don't follow the same for women and vice versa.
For example, many men may not have the 'child-care' stresses that women might have and therefore, in the WFS group, women can address women's issues during their 'recovery gatherings' with a freedom that might not be possible in a both-gender setting. By comparison, men may have 'main household provider' issues that they can feel free to speak about within their male-oriented group. In this, the MFS group can more fully meet the needs of men who are trying to deal with addiction and recovery issues, where they may feel that other 'programs' aren't able to meet certain 'safe discussion' or other support needs.
This post is intended to provide information mainly about the Women For Sobriety program, however, I thought it important to mention that although WFS is a gender-specific group, this doesn't mean that Men are excluded entirely from a similar form of support and self-help opportunity. Since I would not naturally, as a female, attend a Men For Sobriety meeting or gathering, I have limited information about the program but I am working on some correspondence with men involved in the MFS group. I hope to have permission very soon to write about some experiences (maintaining anonymity, of course) with the MFS self-help organization and recovery program.
I have attended WFS meeting locally and found many of the affirmations to be helpful in my own recovery - and I use the affirmations along with other recovery principles from other programs.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Survey Says Drug Use Down In Teens
A survey conducted by the University of Michigan, with funding from NIDA (National Institute on Druge Abuse) says that drug use in teens is continuing a decline that began about a decade ago.
*thumbsup* Good news, eh?
Though alcohol and illicit drug use is down, the research still turned up a reasonably high level of prescription drug abuse in teens, so it has been suggested that the area of prescription medication abuse still requires attention and care.
8th - 10th - and 12th grade students participated in the survey/study from across the USA.
Though less than a quarter percent of younger 8th grade students admitted to experimenting with "illicit drugs," very close to HALF the older, 12th grade students had taken "illicit drugs."
Alcohol use declined and the study showed that Marijuana was the most widely used "illicit" drug.
The link for the report is available:
2006 US Teen Drug Use Survey (available from Hazelden.org )
I have further questions about this survey - particularly - about the use of the term 'illicit' drugs.
I have worries that even if the numbers are correct, maybe certain conclusions of the study are NOT CORRECT.
For instance, if we determine that 'illicit' drugs equals 'illegal' drugs - then some 12th graders who drink aren't using 'illicit' drugs if they are of legal drinking age. Don't some of the US States have the age of 19 set for their legal drinking age? If the forms they fill for the surveys - or the questions they're asked in person - contain the term 'illicit/illegal' drugs, and they're drinking but not using ILLEGAL drugs, then certain data might not be well reflected in the final result of the study.
Also - DOH! Everything is illegal and illicit to an 8th grader! lol
There are few doubts that 8th graders are nowhere NEAR legal age for drinking. So even if they had a beer, they did something illicit and illegal.
Anyway, those last couple of viewpoints aren't the REAL POINT here.
Just tossing those in to see if other people ever question some of these 'studies.' I mean - not that the studies are bad or good or anything else. I just always wonder about how to go about getting CORRECT information.
In the media, if you took that same survey and applied only a portion of it in a certain newscast or something, I'm sure you could come out with a statement saying something like, "8th graders showed the lowest drug use around 21%, however, 12th graders graduated on to more serious drugs and abuses at nearly 50%..."
I just wonder about this stuff, is all - because I recently did see a 'survey report' in print - in an established, popular newspaper which attributed teen drug use to broken homes - BUT - the data was faulty, as far as I am concerned
The survey was made up of participants that were kids MOSTLY FROM BROKEN HOMES and the survey was conducted from a TEEN RESOURCE and COUNSELLING SUPPORT CENTRE, where kids were specifically referred there FROM BROKEN HOMES. The centre has a specific program for children from broken homes - for them to 'network' and 'support' other kids specifically with similar backgrounds. That itself isn't any kind of problem. Saying a certain conclusion of a survey based on a mainly 'select' group - is kind of a problem for me.
Just thought I would put that 'OUT THERE'
Not trying to undermine the details of this survey tho' - just expressing that I think it's a good idea to 'research the research' sometimes.
And that's what I'm off to do!
Apparently, this site: "Monitoring The Future"
Has more details about the study, so that's where I'm off to now...
Just to check the research methodology.
Later *waves*
Have a grrrrrrr8 Day!
*thumbsup* Good news, eh?
Though alcohol and illicit drug use is down, the research still turned up a reasonably high level of prescription drug abuse in teens, so it has been suggested that the area of prescription medication abuse still requires attention and care.
8th - 10th - and 12th grade students participated in the survey/study from across the USA.
Though less than a quarter percent of younger 8th grade students admitted to experimenting with "illicit drugs," very close to HALF the older, 12th grade students had taken "illicit drugs."
Alcohol use declined and the study showed that Marijuana was the most widely used "illicit" drug.
The link for the report is available:
2006 US Teen Drug Use Survey (available from Hazelden.org )
I have further questions about this survey - particularly - about the use of the term 'illicit' drugs.
I have worries that even if the numbers are correct, maybe certain conclusions of the study are NOT CORRECT.
For instance, if we determine that 'illicit' drugs equals 'illegal' drugs - then some 12th graders who drink aren't using 'illicit' drugs if they are of legal drinking age. Don't some of the US States have the age of 19 set for their legal drinking age? If the forms they fill for the surveys - or the questions they're asked in person - contain the term 'illicit/illegal' drugs, and they're drinking but not using ILLEGAL drugs, then certain data might not be well reflected in the final result of the study.
Also - DOH! Everything is illegal and illicit to an 8th grader! lol
There are few doubts that 8th graders are nowhere NEAR legal age for drinking. So even if they had a beer, they did something illicit and illegal.
Anyway, those last couple of viewpoints aren't the REAL POINT here.
Just tossing those in to see if other people ever question some of these 'studies.' I mean - not that the studies are bad or good or anything else. I just always wonder about how to go about getting CORRECT information.
In the media, if you took that same survey and applied only a portion of it in a certain newscast or something, I'm sure you could come out with a statement saying something like, "8th graders showed the lowest drug use around 21%, however, 12th graders graduated on to more serious drugs and abuses at nearly 50%..."
I just wonder about this stuff, is all - because I recently did see a 'survey report' in print - in an established, popular newspaper which attributed teen drug use to broken homes - BUT - the data was faulty, as far as I am concerned
The survey was made up of participants that were kids MOSTLY FROM BROKEN HOMES and the survey was conducted from a TEEN RESOURCE and COUNSELLING SUPPORT CENTRE, where kids were specifically referred there FROM BROKEN HOMES. The centre has a specific program for children from broken homes - for them to 'network' and 'support' other kids specifically with similar backgrounds. That itself isn't any kind of problem. Saying a certain conclusion of a survey based on a mainly 'select' group - is kind of a problem for me.
Just thought I would put that 'OUT THERE'
Not trying to undermine the details of this survey tho' - just expressing that I think it's a good idea to 'research the research' sometimes.
And that's what I'm off to do!
Apparently, this site: "Monitoring The Future"
Has more details about the study, so that's where I'm off to now...
Just to check the research methodology.
Later *waves*
Have a grrrrrrr8 Day!
Friday, May 4, 2007
Alcohol Surveys
Hey People!
I don't know if you ever receive these - or how many 'mailing lists' you're on - but I just received almost a DOZEN 'spam-mail' surveys in the past day.
ALL of this spam pertains to surveys wanting to know my preferences for certain alcoholic beverages! All stuff I cannot drink.
Haha!
Darn - now that I am sober and recovering, I am not going to win the following prizes:
* a 1.5Gig MP3 Player
* 12 Free Hardcover books with the purchase of 1 book for only $4.99US
* a package of coupons redeemable at some USA location that I can't get to (for Wine products)
* a Coors Light cooler
* a ('nother beer company) ballcap w/matching T-shirt
* sports tickets for 2 to some US game that I can't get to anyway (lol)
* $100 cash, redeemable with 6 (Beer brand) proofs of purchase
And a Kokanee bottle opener if I just print a coupon out and take it to a participating liquor store haha.
I'm kinda ticked off 'bout losing that MP3 Player - however, the money I save by not drinking ought to allow me to buy a whole bunch of batteries now for my old MP3 Player, eh?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh It's good to be sober tho'.....
Have a great day!
I don't know if you ever receive these - or how many 'mailing lists' you're on - but I just received almost a DOZEN 'spam-mail' surveys in the past day.
ALL of this spam pertains to surveys wanting to know my preferences for certain alcoholic beverages! All stuff I cannot drink.
Haha!
Darn - now that I am sober and recovering, I am not going to win the following prizes:
* a 1.5Gig MP3 Player
* 12 Free Hardcover books with the purchase of 1 book for only $4.99US
* a package of coupons redeemable at some USA location that I can't get to (for Wine products)
* a Coors Light cooler
* a ('nother beer company) ballcap w/matching T-shirt
* sports tickets for 2 to some US game that I can't get to anyway (lol)
* $100 cash, redeemable with 6 (Beer brand) proofs of purchase
And a Kokanee bottle opener if I just print a coupon out and take it to a participating liquor store haha.
I'm kinda ticked off 'bout losing that MP3 Player - however, the money I save by not drinking ought to allow me to buy a whole bunch of batteries now for my old MP3 Player, eh?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh It's good to be sober tho'.....
Have a great day!
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Still laughing about the Spiders
Alcoholic and Crackhead Spiders beware! We KNOW what you're up to - we're on to you bigtime!
I am trying to track down whoever it was that engineered that Spiders On Drugs video! lol
I want to enlist that person to help make 'Anti-Drug' videos especially for my blog.
If anyone out there has a lead on who actually did that, let me know.
'Til then - please continue to pray for the Crack Spider's Bytch!
(co-dependency sucks, I imagine - whether you're a spider or not eh? Not that I know what it's like to be a spider or a Crack Spider's Bytch)
LOL
teeray~~
I am trying to track down whoever it was that engineered that Spiders On Drugs video! lol
I want to enlist that person to help make 'Anti-Drug' videos especially for my blog.
If anyone out there has a lead on who actually did that, let me know.
'Til then - please continue to pray for the Crack Spider's Bytch!
(co-dependency sucks, I imagine - whether you're a spider or not eh? Not that I know what it's like to be a spider or a Crack Spider's Bytch)
LOL
teeray~~
Saturday, April 28, 2007
April 28/07 Daily Dose From Bill's Book
AA Thought for the Day
April 28, 2007
Rewards
The rewards of sobriety are bountifuland as progressive as the disease they counteract.Certainly among these rewards for meare the release from the prison of uniqueness,and the realization that participation in the AA way of lifeis a blessing and a privilege beyond estimate-- a blessing to live a life free from the pain and degradationof drinking and filled with the joy of useful, sober livingand a privilege to grow in sobriety one day at a timeand bring the message of hope as it was brought to me.
April 28, 2007
Rewards
The rewards of sobriety are bountifuland as progressive as the disease they counteract.Certainly among these rewards for meare the release from the prison of uniqueness,and the realization that participation in the AA way of lifeis a blessing and a privilege beyond estimate-- a blessing to live a life free from the pain and degradationof drinking and filled with the joy of useful, sober livingand a privilege to grow in sobriety one day at a timeand bring the message of hope as it was brought to me.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Of Tantamount Importance!! (you'll never guess) Pt 1
You might not guess what one of the most important things is, when considering 'cleaning up' and maintaining clean recovery...
Nope - it's not the sponsor. A sponsor is important...but what do you do when your sponsor is temporarily unavailable...?
Nope - it's not meetings. Meetings are important...but what do you do when you're in trouble during REAL LIFE SITUATIONS and you can't dash out from a 'business engagement,' school, a family situat, road trip, etc., and run off to a meeting...?
Nope - it's not "Do the work" or "Write it out like 'The Book' says or most OTHER 12-Step-driven suggestions. All of those are important, too...but what do you do if, while you're 'working through,' or 'writing it out,' you encounter SERIOUS emotional reactions (very likely to occur, but this will help you understand YOUR ADDICTION in order to combat it)...and you're taking into consideration what you learned at your last 12-step meeting, all your sponsor's suggestions, etc., and YOU STILL FEEL like you're in trouble...?
THE ANSWER:
Go ahead and go the scientific route!
And that will lead to HUMOUR!!
HUMOUR is TOTALLY USEFUL in recovery!
Seriously!! Humour is really, really really important in recovery.
But first - we need to understand about how substance abuse actually impairs 'humour' in recovering addicts.
A respected Journal simply called, 'Addiction' recently aired a the results of a recent German study that indicated that problem drinkers can't really take a joke as well as some people.
The research subjects were 29 patients in Bochum Germany known to be in recovery because they were - well....... they were in a west-German treatment facility. The control group by which the 'recovery group' was compared were 29 people considered healthy by the researchers' standards. The 29 addicts/alcoholics and the 29 healthy people were all given the same tests.
Part of the testing involved a section where all participants read JOKES! The addicts didn't get some of the jokes, even though some of the punchlines could be realized through logic if one so choose to be 'dead serious' rather than use their propensity for humour! Still - through tools of LOGIC PLUS HUMOUR, the addict group didn't see the humour where they should, as compared with the 29 healthy people. (So - SMARTS plus Humour were lower in addicts than they were in healthy people).
There was more involved in the research other than just measuring responses to jokes. The other things measured helped to uncover WHY addicts might not 'get the jokes.'
Mood was measured
Intellectual ability was measured
Memory abilities were measured
Psychomotor skills were measured
Mentalizing ability (perception and 'other-people-awareness') was measured - aptitude for predicting and understanding other peoples' behaviors.
And, of course, 'capacity to appreciate jokes' was measured.
(Interjection.....)
I read a sample joke from the Addiction Journal article - which was used in the research. I had to read the joke TWICE...and my opinion forever is that it is a really BAD JOKE! I will offer it near the end, after I give you all of the information about the study - PLUS - it's such a total groaner that I don't want to lose readers...I definitely had to USE LOGIC instead of real 'haha-ability' in order to get the right answer, believe it or not.
My 'opinion,' believe it or not - actually SUPPORTS the findings of this study. I'm kinda P-O-ed about this, because I consider myself to have a really broad and open sense of humour! After reading the full article about the study, however, I feel kind of fortunate to have been able to get the right answer...because now I know, from a certain scientific standpoint - that there is a definite 'block' to my funny-bone, so-to-speak, and that I should work harder on seeing things differently. I know now that I may have to use logic along with open-ness to 'humour' - for the rest of my life - in order to understand jokes (humour, intricate uses of language, subtle variations of word-play, and determination of OTHER PEOPLES' behavior etc...) that come easily to healthier people.
(End of interjection...)
Back to the study...
92 percent of the 'healthier' people but LESS THAN 68 percent of the addict group were able to select the correct punchline. As I said before - the joke will follow closer to the end - if I type it in now, you'll GROAN SO BAD - if you're a recovering addict - that you may not even finish reading. Apparently, if you're a 'healthy' person, you'll appreciate and 'get' the joke but I'm worried that you will laugh so hysterically, enjoying the joke - that you'll fall over and not finish reading about the study.
*LOL* ??
The recovery/addict group also fared worse in the mood, intellect, memory, psychomotor skill and 'mentalizing' parts of the testing.
The fact that recovering addicts didn't do so well, especially in the 'mentalizing' parts of the testing, is a pretty clear reinforcement of what is known about an addict's lessened ability to 'socialize' well like more healthy people do.
Jokes occur primarily in social settings. Naturally, there are other ways to put jokes forth, such as through comics, books, forwarded emails, etc., which leave the 'reader' alone with the joke - to interpret the joke in whatever way necessary - however this research concentrated largely on the form of jokes that would occur in a social situation (where the 'receiver' of the joke might gain information from SOMEONE ELSE about how to properly receive the joke).
Because addicts did poorly in other areas tested, we can make a general assumption that addicts really DO HAVE A PROBLEM in the 'HUMOUR' area!
Okay - this post is too long already...and contains some information that recovering addicts might not like at all (I Don't Like It! I can 'appreciate it' but I am still pretty ticked off to find out that I AM ONE WHO DOES NOT INTERPRET JOKES WELL, when before, I thought I ROCKED in the 'getting jokes' area). Actually, I am going for a walk to cool off before I post the BAD JOKE - I am having a 'Drama Queen attack of Can't-Stand-It-itis' over all this! I'll include the *cough*(hiding the 'j' word) , final comments about the German study, and how this all relates to why HUMOUR IS OF TANTAMOUNT IMPORTANCE TO RECOVERING ADDICTS in the next post!
Nope - it's not the sponsor. A sponsor is important...but what do you do when your sponsor is temporarily unavailable...?
Nope - it's not meetings. Meetings are important...but what do you do when you're in trouble during REAL LIFE SITUATIONS and you can't dash out from a 'business engagement,' school, a family situat, road trip, etc., and run off to a meeting...?
Nope - it's not "Do the work" or "Write it out like 'The Book' says or most OTHER 12-Step-driven suggestions. All of those are important, too...but what do you do if, while you're 'working through,' or 'writing it out,' you encounter SERIOUS emotional reactions (very likely to occur, but this will help you understand YOUR ADDICTION in order to combat it)...and you're taking into consideration what you learned at your last 12-step meeting, all your sponsor's suggestions, etc., and YOU STILL FEEL like you're in trouble...?
THE ANSWER:
Go ahead and go the scientific route!
And that will lead to HUMOUR!!
HUMOUR is TOTALLY USEFUL in recovery!
Seriously!! Humour is really, really really important in recovery.
But first - we need to understand about how substance abuse actually impairs 'humour' in recovering addicts.
A respected Journal simply called, 'Addiction' recently aired a the results of a recent German study that indicated that problem drinkers can't really take a joke as well as some people.
The research subjects were 29 patients in Bochum Germany known to be in recovery because they were - well....... they were in a west-German treatment facility. The control group by which the 'recovery group' was compared were 29 people considered healthy by the researchers' standards. The 29 addicts/alcoholics and the 29 healthy people were all given the same tests.
Part of the testing involved a section where all participants read JOKES! The addicts didn't get some of the jokes, even though some of the punchlines could be realized through logic if one so choose to be 'dead serious' rather than use their propensity for humour! Still - through tools of LOGIC PLUS HUMOUR, the addict group didn't see the humour where they should, as compared with the 29 healthy people. (So - SMARTS plus Humour were lower in addicts than they were in healthy people).
There was more involved in the research other than just measuring responses to jokes. The other things measured helped to uncover WHY addicts might not 'get the jokes.'
Mood was measured
Intellectual ability was measured
Memory abilities were measured
Psychomotor skills were measured
Mentalizing ability (perception and 'other-people-awareness') was measured - aptitude for predicting and understanding other peoples' behaviors.
And, of course, 'capacity to appreciate jokes' was measured.
(Interjection.....)
I read a sample joke from the Addiction Journal article - which was used in the research. I had to read the joke TWICE...and my opinion forever is that it is a really BAD JOKE! I will offer it near the end, after I give you all of the information about the study - PLUS - it's such a total groaner that I don't want to lose readers...I definitely had to USE LOGIC instead of real 'haha-ability' in order to get the right answer, believe it or not.
My 'opinion,' believe it or not - actually SUPPORTS the findings of this study. I'm kinda P-O-ed about this, because I consider myself to have a really broad and open sense of humour! After reading the full article about the study, however, I feel kind of fortunate to have been able to get the right answer...because now I know, from a certain scientific standpoint - that there is a definite 'block' to my funny-bone, so-to-speak, and that I should work harder on seeing things differently. I know now that I may have to use logic along with open-ness to 'humour' - for the rest of my life - in order to understand jokes (humour, intricate uses of language, subtle variations of word-play, and determination of OTHER PEOPLES' behavior etc...) that come easily to healthier people.
(End of interjection...)
Back to the study...
92 percent of the 'healthier' people but LESS THAN 68 percent of the addict group were able to select the correct punchline. As I said before - the joke will follow closer to the end - if I type it in now, you'll GROAN SO BAD - if you're a recovering addict - that you may not even finish reading. Apparently, if you're a 'healthy' person, you'll appreciate and 'get' the joke but I'm worried that you will laugh so hysterically, enjoying the joke - that you'll fall over and not finish reading about the study.
*LOL* ??
The recovery/addict group also fared worse in the mood, intellect, memory, psychomotor skill and 'mentalizing' parts of the testing.
The fact that recovering addicts didn't do so well, especially in the 'mentalizing' parts of the testing, is a pretty clear reinforcement of what is known about an addict's lessened ability to 'socialize' well like more healthy people do.
Jokes occur primarily in social settings. Naturally, there are other ways to put jokes forth, such as through comics, books, forwarded emails, etc., which leave the 'reader' alone with the joke - to interpret the joke in whatever way necessary - however this research concentrated largely on the form of jokes that would occur in a social situation (where the 'receiver' of the joke might gain information from SOMEONE ELSE about how to properly receive the joke).
Because addicts did poorly in other areas tested, we can make a general assumption that addicts really DO HAVE A PROBLEM in the 'HUMOUR' area!
Okay - this post is too long already...and contains some information that recovering addicts might not like at all (I Don't Like It! I can 'appreciate it' but I am still pretty ticked off to find out that I AM ONE WHO DOES NOT INTERPRET JOKES WELL, when before, I thought I ROCKED in the 'getting jokes' area). Actually, I am going for a walk to cool off before I post the BAD JOKE - I am having a 'Drama Queen attack of Can't-Stand-It-itis' over all this! I'll include the *cough*(hiding the 'j' word) , final comments about the German study, and how this all relates to why HUMOUR IS OF TANTAMOUNT IMPORTANCE TO RECOVERING ADDICTS in the next post!
The 'Anti'-12 Steps (for active addicts)
1. I declared that I had complete and total control over my drug use and that I can completely manage my life and still use drugs.
2. Came to know that I needed no one and that drugs would help me maintain my happiness and sanity
3. Made a decision to harness the benefits (as I understand them) of any substance I chose to use.
4.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of all others.
5.Admitted to no one, including myself, any of my wrongs, no matter how evident.
6. I became entirely ready to defend, excuse, and justify my actions, using personal attacks on others (if necessary), and to minimize any mistake I may make.
7. Boldly declare that I have no shortcomings (while secretly believing that anything bad I ever did could not be forgiven).
8. Made a list of all persons that had (or that I thought had) harmed me and searched for opportunities to "collect" on those debts.
9. Collected whatever I felt that I am "owed", whenever possible regardless of the fact that doing so may cause injury or pain to someone else.
10. Continued to take an inventory of others "wrongs" against me and promptly collected on them whenever possible.
11. Sought through experimentation, "expert opinions", partying, and the advice of my using friends, a better, stronger, and longer high. I search only for more knowledge of how and what to use, and the means to do so without consequences.
12. Having an enjoyable experience from the use of drugs, I tried to carry this message to other suffering sober people to lead them to practice these principals in all their affairs with me.
2. Came to know that I needed no one and that drugs would help me maintain my happiness and sanity
3. Made a decision to harness the benefits (as I understand them) of any substance I chose to use.
4.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of all others.
5.Admitted to no one, including myself, any of my wrongs, no matter how evident.
6. I became entirely ready to defend, excuse, and justify my actions, using personal attacks on others (if necessary), and to minimize any mistake I may make.
7. Boldly declare that I have no shortcomings (while secretly believing that anything bad I ever did could not be forgiven).
8. Made a list of all persons that had (or that I thought had) harmed me and searched for opportunities to "collect" on those debts.
9. Collected whatever I felt that I am "owed", whenever possible regardless of the fact that doing so may cause injury or pain to someone else.
10. Continued to take an inventory of others "wrongs" against me and promptly collected on them whenever possible.
11. Sought through experimentation, "expert opinions", partying, and the advice of my using friends, a better, stronger, and longer high. I search only for more knowledge of how and what to use, and the means to do so without consequences.
12. Having an enjoyable experience from the use of drugs, I tried to carry this message to other suffering sober people to lead them to practice these principals in all their affairs with me.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Clean Time Calculator Says...
The Pigs In Space "Clean Time Calculator" says that I have been 'clean' for:
1195 Days
Check out the 'Clean Time Generator' links at the right.
I placed a few links there - just in case one of them is 'down for maintenance' at some point when somebody really, really REALLY needs to check out their number of 'clean time' days!
Apparently, according to the "Recovery Greetings" cleantime calculator, 1195 days would work out to over 103million heartbeats since I last had a drink, and close to 24million breaths.
I think those last figures are WRONG haha - 'cos I had a LOT OF PANIC ATTACKS when I first quit drinking. My heart was doin' double-time and so was my breathing...
Oh well - the 'Recovery Greetings' Clean Time Generator is pretty neat anyway! Try It!
Al-Anon Questions
Those who don't drink but who are around active alcoholics often develop behaviors and attitudes that make their situation or their relationship with the active alcoholic worse. Even though non-drinkers are not at fault and every 'drinker' makes his or her own choices on the matter of whether they drink or not, non-drinkers often need some support.
Answer either yes or no to each of the following questions:
1. Do you worry about how much someone else drinks?
2. Do you have money problems because of someone else's drinking?
3. Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else's drinking?
4. Do you feel that drinking is more important to your loved one than you are?
5. Do you think that the drinker's behaviour is caused by his or her companions?
6. Are meal times frequently delayed because of the drinker?
7. Do you make threats, such as "If you don't stop drinking, I'll leave you"?
8. When you kiss the drinker hello, do you secretly try to smell his or her breath?
9. Are you afraid to upset someone for fear it will set off a drinking bout?
10. Have you been hurt or embarrassed by a drinker's behaviour?
11. Does it seem as if every holiday is spoiled because of someone's drinking?
12. Have you considered calling the police because of drinking behaviour?
13. Do you find yourself searching for hidden liquor?
14. Do you feel that if the drinker loved you, he or she would stop drinking to please you?
15. Have you refused social invitations out of fear or anxiety?
16. Do you sometimes feel guilty when you think of the lengths you have gone to in order to control the drinker?
17. Do you think that if the drinker stopped drinking, your other problems would be solved?
18. Do you ever threaten to hurt yourself to scare the drinker into saying "I love you" or "I'm sorry"?
19. Do you ever treat people (children, employees, parents, co-workers, etc.) unjustly because you are angry at someone else for drinking too much?
20. Do you feel there is no one who understands your problems?
If you've answered 'yes' to a significant number of these questions (5 or more), you might consider finding out more about how to help yourself and learn to set boundaries with the person in your life who is drinking.
Here's the Al-Anon / Alateen site which has information for spouses, children, parents and friends of alcoholics:
Al - Anon / Alateen
Answer either yes or no to each of the following questions:
1. Do you worry about how much someone else drinks?
2. Do you have money problems because of someone else's drinking?
3. Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else's drinking?
4. Do you feel that drinking is more important to your loved one than you are?
5. Do you think that the drinker's behaviour is caused by his or her companions?
6. Are meal times frequently delayed because of the drinker?
7. Do you make threats, such as "If you don't stop drinking, I'll leave you"?
8. When you kiss the drinker hello, do you secretly try to smell his or her breath?
9. Are you afraid to upset someone for fear it will set off a drinking bout?
10. Have you been hurt or embarrassed by a drinker's behaviour?
11. Does it seem as if every holiday is spoiled because of someone's drinking?
12. Have you considered calling the police because of drinking behaviour?
13. Do you find yourself searching for hidden liquor?
14. Do you feel that if the drinker loved you, he or she would stop drinking to please you?
15. Have you refused social invitations out of fear or anxiety?
16. Do you sometimes feel guilty when you think of the lengths you have gone to in order to control the drinker?
17. Do you think that if the drinker stopped drinking, your other problems would be solved?
18. Do you ever threaten to hurt yourself to scare the drinker into saying "I love you" or "I'm sorry"?
19. Do you ever treat people (children, employees, parents, co-workers, etc.) unjustly because you are angry at someone else for drinking too much?
20. Do you feel there is no one who understands your problems?
If you've answered 'yes' to a significant number of these questions (5 or more), you might consider finding out more about how to help yourself and learn to set boundaries with the person in your life who is drinking.
Here's the Al-Anon / Alateen site which has information for spouses, children, parents and friends of alcoholics:
Al - Anon / Alateen
Saturday, April 7, 2007
The Twelve Steps In My Own Words.
In order to understand ANYTHING, I usually have to define what the Twelve Steps mean to me and use my own words and phrasing to make my head believe that these Twelve Steps are going to work for me.
My words will be in bold.
The Twelve Steps:
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
[I admit to having no control over alcohol - that alcohol controls me. I admit that my life has become CHAOS and that I can no longer live with alcohol present in my life.]
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
[If I trust in the Creator that I believe in, my life can be recovered and the insanity of active-addiction can stop.]
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
[I am not supposed to be in control of everything in the world, much less EVERY single facet of my life. I can stop being a control freak, let the Creator take care of things beyond my control, and show me how to live.]
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
[Search internally for my flaws, my past bad actions, my present flaws, mistakes, and know my true perceptions of the world right up to today.]
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
[Admit my past mistakes, decisions and actions, my past perceptions, understand how I created my own problems or if I did not create some of them - and share this information with someone in order to stay away from 'keeping secrets' and harbouring bad thoughts.]
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
[Be ready for change, make the decisions to MAKE THE CHANGES necessary to become a better person - and - prepare for THE LOSS of things I grew comfortable with even though they were bad for me.]
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
[Know that I can't do all the removal myself where my faults are concerned - ask for help and more importantly, ACCEPT help when it arrives - even if this is uncomfortable at first and comes from unexpected sources.]
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
[Make the list, be honest about who I hurt, and gather the strength to make amends.]
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
[Correct mistakes where possible, and if this is not accepted by some people, make the effort, anyway, to the best of my ability.]
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
[Evaluate self for strengths as well as returning old bad habits and where old habits or new mistakes occur, 'Say Sorry' and mean it - and also resolve to correct.]
11. Sought though prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
[Allow the Creator and those with more knowledge in spiritual matters to help me grow spiritually. This means dedicating time specifically to spiritual matters - and also - responding to new and different spiritual instruction.]
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
[Be visible in matters regarding my recovery - and be helpful wherever 12 Step programs are present in my life - whether it's meetings, talking to other recovering addicts or merely taking care of myself properly so that I can be a good example.]
My words will be in bold.
The Twelve Steps:
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
[I admit to having no control over alcohol - that alcohol controls me. I admit that my life has become CHAOS and that I can no longer live with alcohol present in my life.]
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
[If I trust in the Creator that I believe in, my life can be recovered and the insanity of active-addiction can stop.]
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
[I am not supposed to be in control of everything in the world, much less EVERY single facet of my life. I can stop being a control freak, let the Creator take care of things beyond my control, and show me how to live.]
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
[Search internally for my flaws, my past bad actions, my present flaws, mistakes, and know my true perceptions of the world right up to today.]
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
[Admit my past mistakes, decisions and actions, my past perceptions, understand how I created my own problems or if I did not create some of them - and share this information with someone in order to stay away from 'keeping secrets' and harbouring bad thoughts.]
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
[Be ready for change, make the decisions to MAKE THE CHANGES necessary to become a better person - and - prepare for THE LOSS of things I grew comfortable with even though they were bad for me.]
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
[Know that I can't do all the removal myself where my faults are concerned - ask for help and more importantly, ACCEPT help when it arrives - even if this is uncomfortable at first and comes from unexpected sources.]
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
[Make the list, be honest about who I hurt, and gather the strength to make amends.]
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
[Correct mistakes where possible, and if this is not accepted by some people, make the effort, anyway, to the best of my ability.]
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
[Evaluate self for strengths as well as returning old bad habits and where old habits or new mistakes occur, 'Say Sorry' and mean it - and also resolve to correct.]
11. Sought though prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
[Allow the Creator and those with more knowledge in spiritual matters to help me grow spiritually. This means dedicating time specifically to spiritual matters - and also - responding to new and different spiritual instruction.]
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
[Be visible in matters regarding my recovery - and be helpful wherever 12 Step programs are present in my life - whether it's meetings, talking to other recovering addicts or merely taking care of myself properly so that I can be a good example.]
Friday, April 6, 2007
Damage Control Explained Pt 2
I'm a recovering addict. I still create CHAOS in my life, so whenever I clue in that I AM NOT IN CONTROL of certain things that I should be responsible for, I resort back to KEEPING IT SIMPLE and go back to DAMAGE CONTROL MODE.
Damage:
This can happen with friendships
This can happen with housework
This can happen with schoolwork
This can happen with my health
This can happen with my sleep schedule
This can happen with ANYTHING at all - if I CHOOSE to allow my tendency to create chaos over-ride what I have learned with the 12-Steps - or if I forget to repel chaos, which I have attracted all my life. I will probably never be without chaos because I actually feel a little 'empty' without a little bit of it around. Many clean, recovery peers of mine say the same thing. But chaos doesn't have to RULE in our lives anymore - if we get the 'Damage Control' right!
Damage Control requires THE TWO STEPS that I began this blog with
#1 - K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple Smartarse. I have to realize that I COMPLICATED whatever it is in life that is bringing me CHAOS - and that I have to take responsibility for that - because I either CREATED my own Chaos and damage - or I forgot to BLOCK OUT damage and chaos - usually because I was being a smartarse, thinking I'm okay now and that I know it all.
#2 - Don't drink or 'Pick Up.' I KNOW that if I drink or pick up the pills or grab a joint, I won't be able to concentrate on un-ravelling whatever CHAOS is affecting my life. So when things get rough, I always KISS and resolve to stay clean in order to bat the damage and chaos back down.
THEN...my 'Damage Control' routine requires that I initiate thinking about AA's first three steps of 'The Program.'
1. Admit to powerlessness. Admit that things are unmanageable.
2. Believe that a Higher Power can kick the butt of CHAOS right where it hurts!
3. Make a Decision to turn control over to a Higher Power and get MY WONDERFUL IDEAS OUT of the equation.
Of course, I'm using slang terms - but heck - if you wanted formal AA material, you know how to use a search engine and find the AA site...I'm tellin' you how I BRING MYSELF to follow the Program - and I don't do that by RECITING AA LIT BY ROTE. I do it by PARING DOWN TO THE BASICS I've learned from 'the program.' I don't use words in my head like, 'principles,' 'autonomous,' 'moral inventory,' 'personal inventory,' 'amends,' unmanageable,' and 'conscious contact' when I am experiencing CHAOS!
I use words like 'Step,' 'fix,' 'think,' 'correct,' 'I did,' 'creator,' 'help,' and 'truth.'
That's as simple as DAMAGE CONTROL GETS!
I don't worry about the other 12-Steps in the program during points in my life where I am experiencing great difficulties. Steps, 1, 2, and 3 of the standard 12-Step program are for use IMMEDIATELY in all situations.
Other steps follow, however, some of them require a different kind of approach and are NOT FOR USE DURING THE MOMENT OF CHAOS.
Step 4 is a contemplative effort where you learn to start to resolve old ways of thinking and admit your role in past events - not for use during CHAOS because it requires 'reflection' - and often, peace and quiet. Step 5 is a 'cathartic' event you undertake to cleanse yourself of the past, as well.
Heck - by Steps 11 and 12, you don't even have to be thinking of yourself anymore, you're HELPING OTHERS once you progress to those steps.
For DAMAGE CONTROL, other 12-step Steps don't work. The first 3, however, are INVALUABLE. This is why I just call everything related to the PRESENT actions, 'Damage Control.' All I need to know is that IT WORKS - and it works due to my having understood and having condensed what I learned of the 12 Step Program - into WORKABLE parts that I can use, even when I am not really thinking clearly and when I AM NOT IN CONTROL.
I get really PISSED OFF when I hear people spouting 'The Book' word for word. I want to know, dammit - WHAT IT MEANS TO THEM - not what the book says. I can read, for pete's sake! In turn - I rarely 'quote' anything substantial from 'The Book.' Let me re-qualify the statement "I get really Pissed Off": I get upset when I REPEATEDLY see people that I know from meetings - who continually spout off sizeable quotes from 'The Book' when I don't SEE THEM putting those concepts into use. In my 3 years of experiencing the 12-Step program, I have observed that people who don't INTERNALIZE THE PROGRAM into something workable that they use on a daily basis - usually relapse.......or are just a pain in the ass.
Eventually, I just pray for those people and realize - once my anger retreats - that they DIDN'T GET IT!
I still listen to almost ANYONE who talks of 12-Step, AA, NA, MA, whatever-A, whatever, eh? I do - I really do...and I will try to imagine WHY there might be a person before me who is quoting long sentences from 12-Step Lit when I just saw them through the window - 'performing' at a bar across from my bus stop, drunk - 2 days ago...usually - I suppose that it's to REMIND ME TO NEVER talk about shyt in the program that I DON'T KNOW ABOUT - because doing so will never help me.
And all of THIS - is why I think in terms of DAMAGE CONTROL when I have to! I understand WHAT TO DO even when I don't understand what the heck is going on around me sometimes. I don't think that utilizing the 12-Step programs available can get any SIMPLER than THIS!
I'm still clean - and grateful
Damage:
This can happen with friendships
This can happen with housework
This can happen with schoolwork
This can happen with my health
This can happen with my sleep schedule
This can happen with ANYTHING at all - if I CHOOSE to allow my tendency to create chaos over-ride what I have learned with the 12-Steps - or if I forget to repel chaos, which I have attracted all my life. I will probably never be without chaos because I actually feel a little 'empty' without a little bit of it around. Many clean, recovery peers of mine say the same thing. But chaos doesn't have to RULE in our lives anymore - if we get the 'Damage Control' right!
Damage Control requires THE TWO STEPS that I began this blog with
#1 - K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple Smartarse. I have to realize that I COMPLICATED whatever it is in life that is bringing me CHAOS - and that I have to take responsibility for that - because I either CREATED my own Chaos and damage - or I forgot to BLOCK OUT damage and chaos - usually because I was being a smartarse, thinking I'm okay now and that I know it all.
#2 - Don't drink or 'Pick Up.' I KNOW that if I drink or pick up the pills or grab a joint, I won't be able to concentrate on un-ravelling whatever CHAOS is affecting my life. So when things get rough, I always KISS and resolve to stay clean in order to bat the damage and chaos back down.
THEN...my 'Damage Control' routine requires that I initiate thinking about AA's first three steps of 'The Program.'
1. Admit to powerlessness. Admit that things are unmanageable.
2. Believe that a Higher Power can kick the butt of CHAOS right where it hurts!
3. Make a Decision to turn control over to a Higher Power and get MY WONDERFUL IDEAS OUT of the equation.
Of course, I'm using slang terms - but heck - if you wanted formal AA material, you know how to use a search engine and find the AA site...I'm tellin' you how I BRING MYSELF to follow the Program - and I don't do that by RECITING AA LIT BY ROTE. I do it by PARING DOWN TO THE BASICS I've learned from 'the program.' I don't use words in my head like, 'principles,' 'autonomous,' 'moral inventory,' 'personal inventory,' 'amends,' unmanageable,' and 'conscious contact' when I am experiencing CHAOS!
I use words like 'Step,' 'fix,' 'think,' 'correct,' 'I did,' 'creator,' 'help,' and 'truth.'
That's as simple as DAMAGE CONTROL GETS!
I don't worry about the other 12-Steps in the program during points in my life where I am experiencing great difficulties. Steps, 1, 2, and 3 of the standard 12-Step program are for use IMMEDIATELY in all situations.
Other steps follow, however, some of them require a different kind of approach and are NOT FOR USE DURING THE MOMENT OF CHAOS.
Step 4 is a contemplative effort where you learn to start to resolve old ways of thinking and admit your role in past events - not for use during CHAOS because it requires 'reflection' - and often, peace and quiet. Step 5 is a 'cathartic' event you undertake to cleanse yourself of the past, as well.
Heck - by Steps 11 and 12, you don't even have to be thinking of yourself anymore, you're HELPING OTHERS once you progress to those steps.
For DAMAGE CONTROL, other 12-step Steps don't work. The first 3, however, are INVALUABLE. This is why I just call everything related to the PRESENT actions, 'Damage Control.' All I need to know is that IT WORKS - and it works due to my having understood and having condensed what I learned of the 12 Step Program - into WORKABLE parts that I can use, even when I am not really thinking clearly and when I AM NOT IN CONTROL.
I get really PISSED OFF when I hear people spouting 'The Book' word for word. I want to know, dammit - WHAT IT MEANS TO THEM - not what the book says. I can read, for pete's sake! In turn - I rarely 'quote' anything substantial from 'The Book.' Let me re-qualify the statement "I get really Pissed Off": I get upset when I REPEATEDLY see people that I know from meetings - who continually spout off sizeable quotes from 'The Book' when I don't SEE THEM putting those concepts into use. In my 3 years of experiencing the 12-Step program, I have observed that people who don't INTERNALIZE THE PROGRAM into something workable that they use on a daily basis - usually relapse.......or are just a pain in the ass.
Eventually, I just pray for those people and realize - once my anger retreats - that they DIDN'T GET IT!
I still listen to almost ANYONE who talks of 12-Step, AA, NA, MA, whatever-A, whatever, eh? I do - I really do...and I will try to imagine WHY there might be a person before me who is quoting long sentences from 12-Step Lit when I just saw them through the window - 'performing' at a bar across from my bus stop, drunk - 2 days ago...usually - I suppose that it's to REMIND ME TO NEVER talk about shyt in the program that I DON'T KNOW ABOUT - because doing so will never help me.
And all of THIS - is why I think in terms of DAMAGE CONTROL when I have to! I understand WHAT TO DO even when I don't understand what the heck is going on around me sometimes. I don't think that utilizing the 12-Step programs available can get any SIMPLER than THIS!
I'm still clean - and grateful
Damage Control Explained Pt 1 (Video Here, Too)
It's a darned good thing that Bill W. was a rotten, lousy, stinkin' DRUNK...'cos once he and Doctor Bob got together and figured out how a program with 12 simple (not easy - SIMPLE - don't confuse the two!) steps could help other drunkards, alcoholism lost its POWER over a great many people. Bill W. and Doctor Bob must have known that I would be born in their same century and that by year 2004, I would have lived 20+ years of drunkennes and NEED THEIR HELP DESPERATELY!
I'm glad that Bill W. was a lousy, drunken jerk - 'cos without his efforts, I would probably be dead by now. Or - I'd be sittin' in a run-down bar or lounge INFLICTING CHAOS on anyone near. (Have you seen "My Name Is Bill W" with James Woods (Bill W.) and James Garner (Doctor Bob)? You should!)
The 12-Steps are definitely DAMAGE CONTROL for me.
I don't think the world is out to get me anymore - therefore I treat people with respect now (change in THINKING and in action).
I don't think the only way to cope with EVERYTHING is to have a drink - therefore, I engage in many productive activities now (changes in decision-making, problem-solving, and in actions).
I don't get drunk anymore - so I don't drive drunk, fall down, pass out or throw up anymore in public! (change in behaviors, less self-centred perceptions - able to think of others)
I don't manipulate people to buy me drinks anymore - so I don't cost people money anymore. (changed behaviors, spiritual growth, and a new moral integrity).
If I never do anything otherwise HELPFUL in the world for the rest of my life, I have already alleviated a TON OF CHAOS from the world by not being drunk anymore!
People are SAFE on the roads near my house - because I'm not on the roads or walking down the street with a beer, either driving illegally or walking drunk. Yes, I actually had tickets before when I drank - for 'walking drunk.'! (No rocket science here - I got 'walking drunk' tickets - I also lost my driving permit...as many drunks do).
Am I embarrassed to say that I used to manipulate people for money (so that I could continue to drink), fall down, pass out, drive drunk, walk drunk, lose my driving permit, and create chaos?
Heck - yeah - I'm still kind of embarrassed at the things I was doing 3 years ago. For sure.
But if I share that DAMAGE CONTROL has gotten me UNDER CONTROL, then maybe someone else hearing of someone so rotten drunk that they drove drunk, got tickets for walking drunk, passed out, manipulated people and created chaos - will think that maybe THEY TOO can get their chaos under control with the help of 12 Step programs. Damage Control is available to ANYONE.
To tell the honest truth, I don't KNOW a great deal about 12 Step programs and that's the beauty of them! You don't have to understand every single detail of the 12-Steps in order to benefit.
I underwent counselling for alcohol issues before I used 12 Step programs effectively - and I 'figured out' the ghist of the counselling, then decided I was sooooo smart...and I went and congratulated myself for being so smart...by going to the bar and buying myself a well-deserved drink! My counsellor didn't get on my back, either...we were talkin' about 'harm reduction' and all that jazz...so I drank less for a while and did less harm LOL. Finally - after about 5 weeks of this counselling, I decided that the counsellor was taking up way too much of my 'harm-reduced' drinking time!
Whatever.
12-Step program literature, when I read it, didn't mince words. The A.A. 'Big Book' used PLAIN ENGLISH that frightened me - words like:
death, lies, Higher Power, powerless, surrender, honesty, self-assessment, disease, spiritual bankruptcy.
THAT kind of language GOT MY ATTENTION.
In A BAD WAY, at first (because I ran away from it before I had read enough)...
I was scared peepless at first, and put THAT NASTY BOOK DOWN for a few months and headed out to the bar where there were PEOPLE TO PROTECT ME FROM THAT AWFUL LITERATURE! LOL. (The 'few months' stretched into 30+ months).
When I found A.A. literature again, I was at my lowest E-V-E-R. I was so depressed during hangovers that I feared for my life. Acquaintances said, around this time (and for the last 6mo of my drinking career), that when I passed out, I was 'out' for so long, and so still, with breathing so shallow that they were worried I was dead. They used to check on me - not to see if I was okay - but under the fear of having to call authorities and explain my death. My hangovers were literally 'fevered,' I had blackouts while the alcohol was leaving my system (would suddenly pass out after being awake, hungover, for a few hours), had uncontrollable shakes and definitiely worried about seizures. Not to mention the PANIC attacks...
I recalled the word 'death' in the literature, but not many others at the time. Just 'death,' 'disease,' and 'spiritual bankruptcy.' I realized that when I stopped drinking, my body was FAILING ME due to its need to acquire addictive substances - whether I decided in my mind to stop using or not. I understood that I was experiencing this 'spiritual bankruptcy,' but I STILL DREADED reading about it in the Big Book.
Naturally, at first, I thought that the Big Book was going to just give me more jargon and lists of 'scary' things and I sure didn't need to be more scared on the day that the understanding of 'spritual bankruptcy' hit home for me! I was too weak, too confused, depressed, humiliated by my own incompetency in life to just go to an A.A. meeting. Someone working at a shelter I stayed in finally asked me,
"Are you ready now - can I make a call for you?" and I said,
"Yes."
The shelter worker called a women's Addiction Treatment Centre for me and that began the proccess of recovery for me. A worker at the treatment centre, when I started DAY 1 of a 28-day program told me,
"Don't worry about 'The Book,' the counselling, the group - or anything...just remember, you're in here to learn 'DAMAGE CONTROL.' That's all you need to remember."
Here's a little video to remind of how DAMAGING drugs and alcohol can be.
Warning: The opening minute and a half is quite graphic and 'Adult Themed' tho' it shows some people who could be of 'Youth' age, so I believe it is appropriate enough for this blog. If you are recently 'on the wagon,' however, you might wish to let the video load and come to watch it only once you hear the vocals start.
I'm glad that Bill W. was a lousy, drunken jerk - 'cos without his efforts, I would probably be dead by now. Or - I'd be sittin' in a run-down bar or lounge INFLICTING CHAOS on anyone near. (Have you seen "My Name Is Bill W" with James Woods (Bill W.) and James Garner (Doctor Bob)? You should!)
The 12-Steps are definitely DAMAGE CONTROL for me.
I don't think the world is out to get me anymore - therefore I treat people with respect now (change in THINKING and in action).
I don't think the only way to cope with EVERYTHING is to have a drink - therefore, I engage in many productive activities now (changes in decision-making, problem-solving, and in actions).
I don't get drunk anymore - so I don't drive drunk, fall down, pass out or throw up anymore in public! (change in behaviors, less self-centred perceptions - able to think of others)
I don't manipulate people to buy me drinks anymore - so I don't cost people money anymore. (changed behaviors, spiritual growth, and a new moral integrity).
If I never do anything otherwise HELPFUL in the world for the rest of my life, I have already alleviated a TON OF CHAOS from the world by not being drunk anymore!
People are SAFE on the roads near my house - because I'm not on the roads or walking down the street with a beer, either driving illegally or walking drunk. Yes, I actually had tickets before when I drank - for 'walking drunk.'! (No rocket science here - I got 'walking drunk' tickets - I also lost my driving permit...as many drunks do).
Am I embarrassed to say that I used to manipulate people for money (so that I could continue to drink), fall down, pass out, drive drunk, walk drunk, lose my driving permit, and create chaos?
Heck - yeah - I'm still kind of embarrassed at the things I was doing 3 years ago. For sure.
But if I share that DAMAGE CONTROL has gotten me UNDER CONTROL, then maybe someone else hearing of someone so rotten drunk that they drove drunk, got tickets for walking drunk, passed out, manipulated people and created chaos - will think that maybe THEY TOO can get their chaos under control with the help of 12 Step programs. Damage Control is available to ANYONE.
To tell the honest truth, I don't KNOW a great deal about 12 Step programs and that's the beauty of them! You don't have to understand every single detail of the 12-Steps in order to benefit.
I underwent counselling for alcohol issues before I used 12 Step programs effectively - and I 'figured out' the ghist of the counselling, then decided I was sooooo smart...and I went and congratulated myself for being so smart...by going to the bar and buying myself a well-deserved drink! My counsellor didn't get on my back, either...we were talkin' about 'harm reduction' and all that jazz...so I drank less for a while and did less harm LOL. Finally - after about 5 weeks of this counselling, I decided that the counsellor was taking up way too much of my 'harm-reduced' drinking time!
Whatever.
12-Step program literature, when I read it, didn't mince words. The A.A. 'Big Book' used PLAIN ENGLISH that frightened me - words like:
death, lies, Higher Power, powerless, surrender, honesty, self-assessment, disease, spiritual bankruptcy.
THAT kind of language GOT MY ATTENTION.
In A BAD WAY, at first (because I ran away from it before I had read enough)...
I was scared peepless at first, and put THAT NASTY BOOK DOWN for a few months and headed out to the bar where there were PEOPLE TO PROTECT ME FROM THAT AWFUL LITERATURE! LOL. (The 'few months' stretched into 30+ months).
When I found A.A. literature again, I was at my lowest E-V-E-R. I was so depressed during hangovers that I feared for my life. Acquaintances said, around this time (and for the last 6mo of my drinking career), that when I passed out, I was 'out' for so long, and so still, with breathing so shallow that they were worried I was dead. They used to check on me - not to see if I was okay - but under the fear of having to call authorities and explain my death. My hangovers were literally 'fevered,' I had blackouts while the alcohol was leaving my system (would suddenly pass out after being awake, hungover, for a few hours), had uncontrollable shakes and definitiely worried about seizures. Not to mention the PANIC attacks...
I recalled the word 'death' in the literature, but not many others at the time. Just 'death,' 'disease,' and 'spiritual bankruptcy.' I realized that when I stopped drinking, my body was FAILING ME due to its need to acquire addictive substances - whether I decided in my mind to stop using or not. I understood that I was experiencing this 'spiritual bankruptcy,' but I STILL DREADED reading about it in the Big Book.
Naturally, at first, I thought that the Big Book was going to just give me more jargon and lists of 'scary' things and I sure didn't need to be more scared on the day that the understanding of 'spritual bankruptcy' hit home for me! I was too weak, too confused, depressed, humiliated by my own incompetency in life to just go to an A.A. meeting. Someone working at a shelter I stayed in finally asked me,
"Are you ready now - can I make a call for you?" and I said,
"Yes."
The shelter worker called a women's Addiction Treatment Centre for me and that began the proccess of recovery for me. A worker at the treatment centre, when I started DAY 1 of a 28-day program told me,
"Don't worry about 'The Book,' the counselling, the group - or anything...just remember, you're in here to learn 'DAMAGE CONTROL.' That's all you need to remember."
Here's a little video to remind of how DAMAGING drugs and alcohol can be.
Warning: The opening minute and a half is quite graphic and 'Adult Themed' tho' it shows some people who could be of 'Youth' age, so I believe it is appropriate enough for this blog. If you are recently 'on the wagon,' however, you might wish to let the video load and come to watch it only once you hear the vocals start.
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Keeping It Simple
I have other blogs on the go. If you've visited them, you'll know that I can type for a freakin' LONG TIME!
Because this is the blog that may be viewed by recovering addicts, I am resolving to K I S S and post - that is, I resolve to keep my entries SHORT.
I know that when I first began my journey of recovery, I couldn't string more than two sentences together, anyway - and sometimes, even THAT was hard. I have been clean for 3 years now (as of Jan 2007) but I still remember what it was like to not be able to associate a 3rd sentence with the first two phrases that someone else JUST SPOKE!
This blog will be an exercise for me in keeping things simple and paring down all chaotic thoughts. For readers, I hope to convey some of my experiences surrounding staying clean and sober. Hopefully, telling of some of the things I have successfully done or still do successfully will help others.
All in all - we each need to find what works for us, in order to stay clean and regain health. For me, sharing helps me stay clean, so here I am and here is my blog.
:)
Because this is the blog that may be viewed by recovering addicts, I am resolving to K I S S and post - that is, I resolve to keep my entries SHORT.
I know that when I first began my journey of recovery, I couldn't string more than two sentences together, anyway - and sometimes, even THAT was hard. I have been clean for 3 years now (as of Jan 2007) but I still remember what it was like to not be able to associate a 3rd sentence with the first two phrases that someone else JUST SPOKE!
This blog will be an exercise for me in keeping things simple and paring down all chaotic thoughts. For readers, I hope to convey some of my experiences surrounding staying clean and sober. Hopefully, telling of some of the things I have successfully done or still do successfully will help others.
All in all - we each need to find what works for us, in order to stay clean and regain health. For me, sharing helps me stay clean, so here I am and here is my blog.
:)
Dummy Hints For Smart Recovery
#1. K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple, Smartarse!
#2. Don't Drink or 'Pick Up.'
#3. Go Back to #1 if you're having trouble remembering how to live without using.
#4. If you skipped #3, GO TO #2 and SIT STILL!
#5. BREATHE...this, too, will come to pass.
#2. Don't Drink or 'Pick Up.'
#3. Go Back to #1 if you're having trouble remembering how to live without using.
#4. If you skipped #3, GO TO #2 and SIT STILL!
#5. BREATHE...this, too, will come to pass.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
