Sober Through The Holiday Season

One of the hardest times of year for people to stay sober is during the Christmas season. It's the biggest holiday of the year, with no doubts, and people 'full of good cheer' tend to:

* Take more time off since 2 stat holidays are in close succession (New Year's added)
* Feel obligated, through media ads, commercials, etc., to be 'in the spirit' of Xmas
* Spend more money at this time of year
* Visit family for the occasions of "Christmas Celebrations" and "New Years Parties"
* Have parties both with family/friends but also through workplaces

There are a number of other things that we see ONLY AT CHRISTMAS time and, unfortunately, most of the activities around this time of year don't actually MIX together well to make for happy times...

The fact that there are 2 holiday occasions a week apart - 2 of the most SIGNIFICANT events of the year, hands down - means that:

* Finances are rough for almost everyone
* People overspend
* Often the 2 holiday occassions are connected with each other on peoples' schedules and if one is stressful (Christmas) the tension simply carries over to the next (New Years).
* People often spend much more time with family at this time than at other times of the year, so family tensions invariably run high - it's not always that people don't LIKE their families...but when we grow up, move away from home and do other normal life activities, we get used to "our life" and often don't have the familiarity and patience with family that we used to when we lived at home. THIS IS NORMAL. But almost everyone says, during the Christmas Season - that is IT IS NOT RIGHT to have differences of opinion during this season...
* People EXCUSE the behaviors of family and friends (and employers and co-workers, etc) during this time of year, noting that we are all supposed to be partaking of the 'holiday spirit' of kindness, forgiveness, etc (blah blah blah)...IF we are not practicing these things YEAR ROUND, all the time, then a WEEK OF THIS ACTIVITY during Christmas and New Years is STRESSFUL AND UNCOMFORTABLE for most of us!

...slide youself some slack this Christmas season - Take care of yourself - especially if you have decided you want a sober life.

Here are a few things you can do to protect yourself and your sobriety this season:

* MAKE A SAFETY PLAN !

This is in case people buy you drinks or coax you to drink.

This is in case people around you drink too much this season, even if you don't.

This is in case there are family or social tensions during the season, which might make you feel like you need to drink to calm down.

This is JUST TO BE SAFER THAN PEOPLE WHO AREN'T MAKING PLANS to look after themselves, because - even if they are not drinkers, many people IGNORE their basic needs of sleep, standing up for themselves with family, saying 'no' to the extra cost of things related to Christmas and New Years. If you are a recovering addict, you have to THINK SAFE more than some other people do, that's all.

Here are a few things that I have done as a safety plan.

* Created 'scripts' for potentially uncomfortable situations
* Selected a 'stressbuster' friend to call when things are going rough
* Planned decent sleep times and EXTRA NAP TIME (excitement and visiting is hard on the system)
* Located meetings - of any variety, so that I could attend if stress became an issue
* Made "enough" points to stick to ("have had enough excitement - time to go lay down," or "have had enough of being around a person who is drinking, so I am going to watch TV in another room," or "have had 'enough' Christmas visiting for the day and evening, it's Midnight and it's time for bed)
* Selected a secondary 'sponsor-like' person to call if my first was unavailable - or just in case I needed two support people
* Mandatory visit with sober group of people just prior to visiting family, just to reaffirm that there are A LOT OF PEOPLE who do not drink in this world

A bit on 'scripts' and then I'll close out this post:

* I created 'scripts' for my first sober Christmas - for family situations that seemed to happen every year. This way, I had a response ready and didn't have to think about responding. Sometimes this was just to say "No" to family members who asked me to get drinks for them during the holiday season.

* You know that it's time for a script in situations where people have said "Hey, grab me a drink on your way back to the room," and you nod, without thinking, and plan to fill the request. In early sobriety, this can actually be a dilemma, and people may never have heard you say, "No, I won't do that - please get your own drink" before. And sometimes, people won't even accept this small difference of response from you, do be prepared to have someone look at you like you just grew an ear on your chin and a second head from your elbow lol. Even for something this simple, a 'script' helps YOU. However else someone ELSE reacts to YOUR new, healthier response is really their choice.

This scripting is really helpful and is mainly just thinking AHEAD OF TIME about how to react to situations you are quire sure will occur.

--don't go overboard with this and try to develop a response for EVERYTHING or you'll worry yourself needlessly, but if there are situations that seem to occur every year or some expectations that you know that family members (of friends) had of you when you were a drinker...these are things you can make 'scripts' - new responses - for this season.

Fun Stuff

THE SIMPSONS MOVIE - Contest runs until July 27 2007!

Here's the Contest Form For The Simpsons Movie Contest
(don't worry - the link opens in a new window)

Okay - this is not related to addiction or recovery but I wanted to post it on my blog anyway because I Like The Simpsons - and a lot of people do, too. Plus, it's my blog and I can put what I want on it.

There's a The Simpson's Movie CONTEST going on right now - a combined effort between Fox and My Opera (Yes, the Opera browser community).

If you like and watch The Simpsons a lot and think you'd like to win some official The Simpsons Movie merchandise, then check out the contest, answer some questions about The Simpsons, and hopefully, you'll win some merchandise!

Here's the Contest Form For The Simpsons Movie Contest
(don't worry - the link opens in a new window)

The Contest started 1 week ago (on the 13th) and it runs until the movie premiers on July 27th, so the contest hasn't been going on that long. You should have a good chance to win - there's 1 more week of entries to collect.

The winner will be by Random Drawing - so the contest is really fair - as long as you know some information about The Simpsons and you get your contest entry form in right away!

Again, I know this has nothing to do with addict issues or recovery information, but heck - everyone needs to have some fun, too, right? And hopefully, someone will win this contest now that they know about it.

Here's the Contest Form For The Simpsons Movie Contest
(don't worry - the link opens in a new window)

Good Luck! I hope you win some official The Simpsons Movie merchandise! I have my fingers crossed - well, I will after I get this posted. I'm typing right now.

Everyone Familiar With This?

From Chapter 5 "How It Works:"

(are you familiar with this part?)

"Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go through with it." Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection."

(found on Page 60 of the book, "Alcoholics Anonymous")

Screw THAT, my friends

I WANT SPIRITUAL PERFECTION

Haha

Or at least I want to be the only one who knows that I haven't attained SPIRITUAL PERFECTION!

OR PLAIN PERFECTION!

I just have to say - I must still be a pretty sick recovering addict - 'cos today I had the impression that I needed to be perfect...I mean - not just excellent or faultless, but PERFECT.

I just received a rental increase letter today (grr) and I spent so much time trying to write the PERFECT rebuttal letter...

Then I realized - THERE ARE NO LAWS to keep my landlord from doing this - raising the rent - anyway!

So my PERFECT LETTER that I spent waaaaaaaay more time on than I needed to (quite a few li'l anger management breaks while I was writing heh)...has turned out to be the worst WASTE OF TIME EVER!

2 HOURS of it.

I could have studied Fairy Tales - or World Literature
(Hey shhhh-up, I heard you laughing about 'fairy tales' - it's a SERIOUS STUDY - it's a 3rd year University course)
:)~

Anyhow - I could have played with my cat (who is still sorely needing attention after that near-fire a couple of weeks ago...he's still jumpy and parks his furry self right at the window opening about 20 hours of the day!), had a nap, worked on World Literature homework, gone to see a friend, gone for a walk...(gone to a meeting shhhhhhh!)

And it wasn't the letter that had to be PERFECT!

IT WAS ME - in the letter!

Haha - I had to 'portray' myself as having been the perfect tenant, surely non-deserving of this rental increase and a buncha other stuff...and the fact is.

I still shouldn't have my rent raised

BUT

- I am not that perfect tenant I was writing about. Sheeeeeeesh - but that was what took up so much time! I didn't lie or anything - I just left out the couple of things that I should be held responsible for - like breaking my window screen and something from the past...I let a person stay here for 2 weeks without telling my landlord 'cos my friend was in a crises...technically the landlord could have charged extra money for that because technically an extra tenant was here for more than just overnight for one or two nights. I just didn't bother asking permission though I'm quite sure my landlord would have understood the situation at the time and would have refrained from charging me or my friend anything extra - since my friend and I knew the situation would be very temporary...

...neither of those things are seriously BAD things...but they do point to the fact that I am not perfect - and also - I have hidden 2 details from my landlord instead of reasonably discussion those things. I actually cranked in the letter about my screen being broken for several months...without explaining how it got that way (I locked myself out and had to come through the window - didn't even break the screen at that time...it was when I tried to put the screen BACK later that I broke it lol).

What the heck?

.....the details aren't really bad and I'm not a bad tenant or horrible person because of those things...but I had to try to come off as PERFECT in the letter - and try to write about my situation as if I have never done anything wrong - EVER.

So - I guess I am still pretty sick, all things considered. I KNOW, myself, that I'm not perfect - but I don't want anyone else to know that!

HAHA

What a dumb post, eh?

Things like this bother me - thot I would post it and maybe someone else who has had a similar experience can comment.

When I was browsing the Big Book - I got to the paragraph that I posted at the top of this blog entry.....and it kinda gnawed at me.

Yep - I STILL WANT PERFECTION RIGHT NOW...

Ah well - maybe tomorrow I'll be perfect.

Or

Maybe I will just act and think with more balance, eh?

This little incident is a reminder, for sure, that I can over-tip with certain behaviors once I allow my mind to get too set. Hmmm I think when I was in treatment, the counsellors used to call this 'obsessive thinking.'

So - oh great - it's not gone...obsession

Oh great - I'm still not perfect

*ptoeey*

Whatever

I am grateful that it was not obsessive thinking of another sort - where I thought constantly about alcohol, drugs, using.

And - I got rid of the letter

LOL

Drunks Tick me off and Drunks With Dogs Joke

I'm not feeling very serious lately. Well, I'm cranky, actually...
About my recovery 'Yes-serious'
About things in general 'No' - no serious allowed.
I've had a bad week, so I started looking up jokes to cheer myself up.

I'm cranky because - a drunk neighbor nearly burned down our apartments last Saturday when he passed out with food in the oven, so I have had my fill of 'serious' this week. To boot, doc says I will be sick for a while (NO really effective meds I can take because I screwed up for 20+ years as an addict and cannot take most drugs without risk of addiction to the prescriptions - grr) because I have to heal naturally. *coughcough* Heck - there was no fire at all, either - just a lot of SMOKE. I woke the guy up before anything began to 'flame,' but the smoke was pretty brutal at the time and I had to leave my apartment for 2 hours before I could breathe in my own place again.

This proves:
Drinking can affect even people who aren't family or friends!

Starting or almost starting a fire because you're so fried on dope and alcohol - is very much like driving drunk then, isn't it? The drunk/druggie doesn't think their problem is anyone else's...but really

IT IS anyone around them that shares in the problem.

Now - my health problems, for however long they last 'til I heal up, stop having headaches and extra coughing, etc...are my problem - because I'm clean but someone else who lives beside me won't clean up their act!

I wasn't going to bring this to my blog and just bytch about it...but I've been hangin' on to it since Saturday and really...

It's a pretty pertinent topic for the blog, don't you think?

Anyhow - that's my blurb about bein' bytchy and sick...and also - here's a li'l info 'bout how being bytchy and sick can affect thinking when you're in recovery...

(something that I had to work on for a while JUST NOW 'cos this is the stuff that can make addicts in recovery - go back out and use)

... since I am up in the middle of the night from medication that I CAN TAKE which makes me jittery and wakes me up - and I was otherwise probably going to wake up from coughing anyway...I decided not to just lay there and feel kinda sick - I got up and started reading. I got even crankier than expected, really quick-like and homework sucked after about an hour... I slammed the books shut and got to wondering why I sobered up in order to live near an addict who keeps causing *coughcough* apartment problems blahblahblah (told ya I'm sick'n'cranky, eh?)...and finally, I started thinkin' that I might as well have gone to the bar last weekend and caused my OWN PROBLEMS with booze. I figured for a while it was starting to make sense that way because - so long as I don't have any control over OTHER PEOPLE but they can SERIOUSLY AFFECT my life with THEIR BOOZE and DRUG problems...blahblahblah it was just getting worse 'cos I am *coughcough* tired and cranky and it's the middle of the night...

It was all just stinkin' thinkin'...

SO I HAD TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS...

Just spent the last hour IGNORING HOMEWORK and reading JOKES!

NOW I still feel kinda cranky and kinda sick - but feeling NOT SERIOUS AT ALL...

Plus...I don't think, anymore, that I should have just gone to the bar last weekend, etc, etc...that was just bytchy pity thinkin' from a little while ago and I'm glad I'm over that...

SO anyhow...here's a joke I thought was kinda cute...

Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a doberman and the other,
a chihuahua. As they walked down the street, the one with the doberman said
to her friend, Let's go over to that bar for a drink. The lady with the
chihuahua said, We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us. The one with
the doberman said, Just watch, and do as I do. They walked over to the bar
and the one with the doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to
walk in. The bouncer at the door said, Sorry, lady, no pets allowed. The
woman with the doberman said, You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye
dog. The bouncer said, A doberman? The woman said, Yes, they're using them
now. They're very good. The bouncer said, OK, come on in. The lady with the
chihuahua thought that convincing him that a chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog
may be a bit more difficult, but thought, what the heck, so she put on her
dark glasses and started to walk in. Once again the bouncer said, Sorry,
lady, no pets allowed. The woman said, You don't understand. This is my
seeing-eye dog. The bouncer said, A chihuahua? The woman with the chihuahua
said, A chihuahua? The bastards sold me a chihuahua?

I'm glad I didn't just lay around when I couldn't sleep 'cos that's when 'sick and tired of it' thoughts and 'stinking thinking' thoughts occur - and I'm glad I got up to read some cool jokes. Now I'm tired but laughing.

Wow - what a screwed up post, eh?

I'm outta here - got more jokes to read.

Off Topic - Code Amber Alert Tickers

Code Amber was created in 1996 after an Arlington Texas child, Amber Hagerman was kidnapped while riding her bicycle. Amber was brutally murdered, and Arlington Texas residents were outraged, calling for more exposure, appealing to Dallas Texas radio stations - to start broadcasting these 'special alerts' more promptly and massively so that situations like the murder of Amber Hagerman could be avoided in the future.

Response to this appeal occurred immediately as Texas Radio stations partnered up with local law-enforcement groups in Northern Texas. A massive system of 'alert' went 'live' on August 23, 2002 - after the TX Region had been pushing this idea and broadcasting alerts whenever possible since '96. After less than a year of the 'live' widespread launch, in April of 2003 President Bush adjusted the alert program to make it a National program.

An Amber Alert organization and system has also been developed to cover Canadian regions - for obvious reasons of 'proximity' of the two countries to each other.

I witnessed a successful Amber Alert in the area of Calgary, Alberta, Canada - about 1 year ago. I am not positive in remembering the exact time, but I vividly remember the details about the success of the Alert issued. I was actually shocked (because the Alert System is relatively new) by how effective it turned out to be at the time!

In this instance, an infant had been removed from a home, from her mother who required intensive treatment for Addiction and Lifestyle problems and also treatment for Psychological/Behavioral issues. The mother was granted visitation rights and bolted with the baby. The Amber Alert went out within an hour or two of the occurrence, and within 36 hours, the mother, herself, heeded the messages from the Amber Alerts. Realizing that the entire region from British Columbia to Nova Scotia (particularly in the Calgary--Red-Deer--Edmonton area) was receiving constant Amber Alerts on TV-station tickers and billboards - not to mention constant Radio-broadcast messages, sometimes at every 15 minute mark, the mother made arrangements very quickly to return her baby into care facilities. , so the child was recovered unharmed!

What does the Code Amber Alert program have to do with this blog?

Not much...

And - A LOT!

As displayed in the Amber Alert account just mentioned, the kidnapper was the child's own mother. And - an Addict.

Sometimes, under duress, and under the multi-faceted chaos that addiction brings, people don't behave in ways that are acceptable. To my knowledge, the mother took her child back for the same reason any GOOD MOTHER would want to retrieve their child from someone else's care (because it is the child they love, whose life - along with theirs, they dream of the future about - regardless that they aren't managing to take care of the child well). The baby was removed from the woman's household due to her addiction lifestyle issues, in part, and also - she likely acted on impulse as most addicts WILL while they are contemplating or are in the first stages of Addiction Recovery.

Life isn't easy in the beginning stages of recovery. The main issue is that people in the first stages of recovery are plainly PANICKY! They have got a million and a half things about life, habits, morals, and behaviors to re-learn! Often, this is a simply OVERWHELMING TIME - a time that some addicts don't endure in order to become 'healthy.'

Most Addicts aren't bad people. Their behaviors and lifestyle are very awful and bad. The woman who kidnapped her baby, in her mind, only 'took back' her child. In the minds of the authorities, she 'committed a crime.' Either way, it was not safe for that infant to be with her mother at a certain time. Hopefully now, the mother has gained a better lifestyle - she probably wasn't an inherently 'bad person' at all. The fact that she was overwhelmed and 'took back' her child is more of an indication of her overwhelmed state (overwhelmed that the child she loved was taken from her) rather than a sign that she was an evil type of criminal. Regardless, the Amber Alert helped in the return of the infant so that the woman's 'lifestyle' and 'addict habits' did not put the child in further and continued jeopardy.

I recall, once I heard the original Alert - and that the woman in question was an addict who had just recently been ordered to turn her child over to protective services - I wasn't worried that the woman in question was some kind of awful criminal. I was only worried that she would be using drugs while the child was with her and that she might be negligent with the child and cause harm in that way.

I just prayed for her to realize the seriousness of the Amber Alert and come to grips with the fact that her child needed to be 'out of her care' for a while until she could get herself straightened out. I never became 'outraged' like some of my peers did when they heard details of the Code Amber Alert...probably because I have experience with turning over a child to a better home while I dealt with Addiction issues, myself.

(Well *gasp* that last sentence was more than I was GOING TO disclose lol but I'll leave it in! 'Cos it's 'on-topic' with this particular post!)

Thankfully - in this instance, the effects of this Code Amber Alert turned out positive!

I think the decision to place the Alert system tickers on this blog is altogether relevant and you will see them in the column to the right from now on.

Please interact with me freely if you should ever see the Alert ticker blacked out and not operational. It may take a moment to load but should then display, basically, it's 'purpose' in the message area - unless there is a current 'Code Amber Alert' in progress - in which case, the details of the message will have a YELLOW/Amber background with details about the Alert in progress.

Thank you, ahead of time for your co-operation!

Spiders On Drugs Video

This ROX!



Watch Very Closely.

Someone needs to help these poor Arachnids. (Alcoholic and Crack Addict Spiders OHNO!)

Of Tantamount Importance!! (you'll never guess) Pt 1

You might not guess what one of the most important things is, when considering 'cleaning up' and maintaining clean recovery...

Nope - it's not the sponsor. A sponsor is important...but what do you do when your sponsor is temporarily unavailable...?

Nope - it's not meetings. Meetings are important...but what do you do when you're in trouble during REAL LIFE SITUATIONS and you can't dash out from a 'business engagement,' school, a family situat, road trip, etc., and run off to a meeting...?

Nope - it's not "Do the work" or "Write it out like 'The Book' says or most OTHER 12-Step-driven suggestions. All of those are important, too...but what do you do if, while you're 'working through,' or 'writing it out,' you encounter SERIOUS emotional reactions (very likely to occur, but this will help you understand YOUR ADDICTION in order to combat it)...and you're taking into consideration what you learned at your last 12-step meeting, all your sponsor's suggestions, etc., and YOU STILL FEEL like you're in trouble...?


THE ANSWER:

Go ahead and go the scientific route!

And that will lead to HUMOUR!!

HUMOUR is TOTALLY USEFUL in recovery!

Seriously!! Humour is really, really really important in recovery.

But first - we need to understand about how substance abuse actually impairs 'humour' in recovering addicts.

A respected Journal simply called, 'Addiction' recently aired a the results of a recent German study that indicated that problem drinkers can't really take a joke as well as some people.

The research subjects were 29 patients in Bochum Germany known to be in recovery because they were - well....... they were in a west-German treatment facility. The control group by which the 'recovery group' was compared were 29 people considered healthy by the researchers' standards. The 29 addicts/alcoholics and the 29 healthy people were all given the same tests.

Part of the testing involved a section where all participants read JOKES! The addicts didn't get some of the jokes, even though some of the punchlines could be realized through logic if one so choose to be 'dead serious' rather than use their propensity for humour! Still - through tools of LOGIC PLUS HUMOUR, the addict group didn't see the humour where they should, as compared with the 29 healthy people. (So - SMARTS plus Humour were lower in addicts than they were in healthy people).

There was more involved in the research other than just measuring responses to jokes. The other things measured helped to uncover WHY addicts might not 'get the jokes.'

Mood was measured
Intellectual ability was measured
Memory abilities were measured
Psychomotor skills were measured
Mentalizing ability (perception and 'other-people-awareness') was measured - aptitude for predicting and understanding other peoples' behaviors.

And, of course, 'capacity to appreciate jokes' was measured.

(Interjection.....)
I read a sample joke from the Addiction Journal article - which was used in the research. I had to read the joke TWICE...and my opinion forever is that it is a really BAD JOKE! I will offer it near the end, after I give you all of the information about the study - PLUS - it's such a total groaner that I don't want to lose readers...I definitely had to USE LOGIC instead of real 'haha-ability' in order to get the right answer, believe it or not.

My 'opinion,' believe it or not - actually SUPPORTS the findings of this study. I'm kinda P-O-ed about this, because I consider myself to have a really broad and open sense of humour! After reading the full article about the study, however, I feel kind of fortunate to have been able to get the right answer...because now I know, from a certain scientific standpoint - that there is a definite 'block' to my funny-bone, so-to-speak, and that I should work harder on seeing things differently. I know now that I may have to use logic along with open-ness to 'humour' - for the rest of my life - in order to understand jokes (humour, intricate uses of language, subtle variations of word-play, and determination of OTHER PEOPLES' behavior etc...) that come easily to healthier people.
(End of interjection...)

Back to the study...

92 percent of the 'healthier' people but LESS THAN 68 percent of the addict group were able to select the correct punchline. As I said before - the joke will follow closer to the end - if I type it in now, you'll GROAN SO BAD - if you're a recovering addict - that you may not even finish reading. Apparently, if you're a 'healthy' person, you'll appreciate and 'get' the joke but I'm worried that you will laugh so hysterically, enjoying the joke - that you'll fall over and not finish reading about the study.

*LOL* ??

The recovery/addict group also fared worse in the mood, intellect, memory, psychomotor skill and 'mentalizing' parts of the testing.

The fact that recovering addicts didn't do so well, especially in the 'mentalizing' parts of the testing, is a pretty clear reinforcement of what is known about an addict's lessened ability to 'socialize' well like more healthy people do.

Jokes occur primarily in social settings. Naturally, there are other ways to put jokes forth, such as through comics, books, forwarded emails, etc., which leave the 'reader' alone with the joke - to interpret the joke in whatever way necessary - however this research concentrated largely on the form of jokes that would occur in a social situation (where the 'receiver' of the joke might gain information from SOMEONE ELSE about how to properly receive the joke).

Because addicts did poorly in other areas tested, we can make a general assumption that addicts really DO HAVE A PROBLEM in the 'HUMOUR' area!

Okay - this post is too long already...and contains some information that recovering addicts might not like at all (I Don't Like It! I can 'appreciate it' but I am still pretty ticked off to find out that I AM ONE WHO DOES NOT INTERPRET JOKES WELL, when before, I thought I ROCKED in the 'getting jokes' area). Actually, I am going for a walk to cool off before I post the BAD JOKE - I am having a 'Drama Queen attack of Can't-Stand-It-itis' over all this! I'll include the *cough*(hiding the 'j' word) , final comments about the German study, and how this all relates to why HUMOUR IS OF TANTAMOUNT IMPORTANCE TO RECOVERING ADDICTS in the next post!

Damage Control Explained Pt 2

I'm a recovering addict. I still create CHAOS in my life, so whenever I clue in that I AM NOT IN CONTROL of certain things that I should be responsible for, I resort back to KEEPING IT SIMPLE and go back to DAMAGE CONTROL MODE.


Damage:

This can happen with friendships
This can happen with housework
This can happen with schoolwork
This can happen with my health
This can happen with my sleep schedule

This can happen with ANYTHING at all - if I CHOOSE to allow my tendency to create chaos over-ride what I have learned with the 12-Steps - or if I forget to repel chaos, which I have attracted all my life. I will probably never be without chaos because I actually feel a little 'empty' without a little bit of it around. Many clean, recovery peers of mine say the same thing. But chaos doesn't have to RULE in our lives anymore - if we get the 'Damage Control' right!

Damage Control requires THE TWO STEPS that I began this blog with

#1 - K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple Smartarse. I have to realize that I COMPLICATED whatever it is in life that is bringing me CHAOS - and that I have to take responsibility for that - because I either CREATED my own Chaos and damage - or I forgot to BLOCK OUT damage and chaos - usually because I was being a smartarse, thinking I'm okay now and that I know it all.

#2 - Don't drink or 'Pick Up.' I KNOW that if I drink or pick up the pills or grab a joint, I won't be able to concentrate on un-ravelling whatever CHAOS is affecting my life. So when things get rough, I always KISS and resolve to stay clean in order to bat the damage and chaos back down.

THEN...my 'Damage Control' routine requires that I initiate thinking about AA's first three steps of 'The Program.'

1. Admit to powerlessness. Admit that things are unmanageable.
2. Believe that a Higher Power can kick the butt of CHAOS right where it hurts!
3. Make a Decision to turn control over to a Higher Power and get MY WONDERFUL IDEAS OUT of the equation.

Of course, I'm using slang terms - but heck - if you wanted formal AA material, you know how to use a search engine and find the AA site...I'm tellin' you how I BRING MYSELF to follow the Program - and I don't do that by RECITING AA LIT BY ROTE. I do it by PARING DOWN TO THE BASICS I've learned from 'the program.' I don't use words in my head like, 'principles,' 'autonomous,' 'moral inventory,' 'personal inventory,' 'amends,' unmanageable,' and 'conscious contact' when I am experiencing CHAOS!

I use words like 'Step,' 'fix,' 'think,' 'correct,' 'I did,' 'creator,' 'help,' and 'truth.'

That's as simple as DAMAGE CONTROL GETS!

I don't worry about the other 12-Steps in the program during points in my life where I am experiencing great difficulties. Steps, 1, 2, and 3 of the standard 12-Step program are for use IMMEDIATELY in all situations.

Other steps follow, however, some of them require a different kind of approach and are NOT FOR USE DURING THE MOMENT OF CHAOS.

Step 4 is a contemplative effort where you learn to start to resolve old ways of thinking and admit your role in past events - not for use during CHAOS because it requires 'reflection' - and often, peace and quiet. Step 5 is a 'cathartic' event you undertake to cleanse yourself of the past, as well.

Heck - by Steps 11 and 12, you don't even have to be thinking of yourself anymore, you're HELPING OTHERS once you progress to those steps.

For DAMAGE CONTROL, other 12-step Steps don't work. The first 3, however, are INVALUABLE. This is why I just call everything related to the PRESENT actions, 'Damage Control.' All I need to know is that IT WORKS - and it works due to my having understood and having condensed what I learned of the 12 Step Program - into WORKABLE parts that I can use, even when I am not really thinking clearly and when I AM NOT IN CONTROL.

I get really PISSED OFF when I hear people spouting 'The Book' word for word. I want to know, dammit - WHAT IT MEANS TO THEM - not what the book says. I can read, for pete's sake! In turn - I rarely 'quote' anything substantial from 'The Book.' Let me re-qualify the statement "I get really Pissed Off": I get upset when I REPEATEDLY see people that I know from meetings - who continually spout off sizeable quotes from 'The Book' when I don't SEE THEM putting those concepts into use. In my 3 years of experiencing the 12-Step program, I have observed that people who don't INTERNALIZE THE PROGRAM into something workable that they use on a daily basis - usually relapse.......or are just a pain in the ass.

Eventually, I just pray for those people and realize - once my anger retreats - that they DIDN'T GET IT!

I still listen to almost ANYONE who talks of 12-Step, AA, NA, MA, whatever-A, whatever, eh? I do - I really do...and I will try to imagine WHY there might be a person before me who is quoting long sentences from 12-Step Lit when I just saw them through the window - 'performing' at a bar across from my bus stop, drunk - 2 days ago...usually - I suppose that it's to REMIND ME TO NEVER talk about shyt in the program that I DON'T KNOW ABOUT - because doing so will never help me.

And all of THIS - is why I think in terms of DAMAGE CONTROL when I have to! I understand WHAT TO DO even when I don't understand what the heck is going on around me sometimes. I don't think that utilizing the 12-Step programs available can get any SIMPLER than THIS!

I'm still clean - and grateful

What Is A 12 Step Program?

I've been involved with 12-Step programs for over 3 years. I've heard all kinds of definitions about what a 12 Step program is, including:

"A 12-Step program is a set of principles by which a recovering addict can re-structure the unmanageablity of his or her life, brought on by his or her previous alcoholic way of life."

(When I was about 1 week CLEAN and heard that one...I didn't even know that sentence was in ENGLISH sheeeeeeeeeesh - I just nodded and smiled and said "yes, yes.")

Here's another one:

"Twelve Step programs are the most laissez faire way of life on earth. 'Laissez Faire' = 'noninterference in the affairs of others.' "

*blink...........blink* I STILL don't understand that one - and I should, because I've been involved with Lassez Faire ooooooooops, I mean 12-Step programs for three years now.

One more:
(I nabbed this one straight from wikipedia so it has to be correct, right? lol)

"The Twelve-step program is a set of guiding principles for recovery from addictive, compulsive, or behavioural problems, originally developed by the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous (abbreviated A.A.) to guide recovery from alcoholism."

Again - principles and blahblahblah.

Whatever.

My definition of a 12-Step Program - down to its most SIMPLE (KISS), fundamental impression and meaning:

DAMAGE CONTROL!

12-step programs are DAMAGE CONTROL for addicts.

I had to hear THAT 3 years ago to understand why people were telling me to get a sponsor, go to meetings, and Keep It Simple Smartarse!