Internet Marketing Solution: Timberway.com - Find your Internet marketing solution: tips, tools, and resources you need to make your web site successful. Read the latest Internet marketing news and articles...
I have a wide range of interests from writing and blogging to researching on the topic of poverty. I study urban mythology and like to observe how the world works via the way people interact with each other.
Okay - this is not related to addiction or recovery but I wanted to post it on my blog anyway because I Like The Simpsons - and a lot of people do, too. Plus, it's my blog and I can put what I want on it.
There's a The Simpson's Movie CONTEST going on right now - a combined effort between Fox and My Opera (Yes, the Opera browser community).
If you like and watch The Simpsons a lot and think you'd like to win some official The Simpsons Movie merchandise, then check out the contest, answer some questions about The Simpsons, and hopefully, you'll win some merchandise!
The Contest started 1 week ago (on the 13th) and it runs until the movie premiers on July 27th, so the contest hasn't been going on that long. You should have a good chance to win - there's 1 more week of entries to collect.
The winner will be by Random Drawing - so the contest is really fair - as long as you know some information about The Simpsons and you get your contest entry form in right away!
Again, I know this has nothing to do with addict issues or recovery information, but heck - everyone needs to have some fun, too, right? And hopefully, someone will win this contest now that they know about it.
Good Luck! I hope you win some official The Simpsons Movie merchandise! I have my fingers crossed - well, I will after I get this posted. I'm typing right now.
Code Amber was created in 1996 after an Arlington Texas child, Amber Hagerman was kidnapped while riding her bicycle. Amber was brutally murdered, and Arlington Texas residents were outraged, calling for more exposure, appealing to Dallas Texas radio stations - to start broadcasting these 'special alerts' more promptly and massively so that situations like the murder of Amber Hagerman could be avoided in the future.
Response to this appeal occurred immediately as Texas Radio stations partnered up with local law-enforcement groups in Northern Texas. A massive system of 'alert' went 'live' on August 23, 2002 - after the TX Region had been pushing this idea and broadcasting alerts whenever possible since '96. After less than a year of the 'live' widespread launch, in April of 2003 President Bush adjusted the alert program to make it a National program.
An Amber Alert organization and system has also been developed to cover Canadian regions - for obvious reasons of 'proximity' of the two countries to each other.
I witnessed a successful Amber Alert in the area of Calgary, Alberta, Canada - about 1 year ago. I am not positive in remembering the exact time, but I vividly remember the details about the success of the Alert issued. I was actually shocked (because the Alert System is relatively new) by how effective it turned out to be at the time!
In this instance, an infant had been removed from a home, from her mother who required intensive treatment for Addiction and Lifestyle problems and also treatment for Psychological/Behavioral issues. The mother was granted visitation rights and bolted with the baby. The Amber Alert went out within an hour or two of the occurrence, and within 36 hours, the mother, herself, heeded the messages from the Amber Alerts. Realizing that the entire region from British Columbia to Nova Scotia (particularly in the Calgary--Red-Deer--Edmonton area) was receiving constant Amber Alerts on TV-station tickers and billboards - not to mention constant Radio-broadcast messages, sometimes at every 15 minute mark, the mother made arrangements very quickly to return her baby into care facilities. , so the child was recovered unharmed!
What does the Code Amber Alert program have to do with this blog?
Not much...
And - A LOT!
As displayed in the Amber Alert account just mentioned, the kidnapper was the child's own mother. And - an Addict.
Sometimes, under duress, and under the multi-faceted chaos that addiction brings, people don't behave in ways that are acceptable. To my knowledge, the mother took her child back for the same reason any GOOD MOTHER would want to retrieve their child from someone else's care (because it is the child they love, whose life - along with theirs, they dream of the future about - regardless that they aren't managing to take care of the child well). The baby was removed from the woman's household due to her addiction lifestyle issues, in part, and also - she likely acted on impulse as most addicts WILL while they are contemplating or are in the first stages of Addiction Recovery.
Life isn't easy in the beginning stages of recovery. The main issue is that people in the first stages of recovery are plainly PANICKY! They have got a million and a half things about life, habits, morals, and behaviors to re-learn! Often, this is a simply OVERWHELMING TIME - a time that some addicts don't endure in order to become 'healthy.'
Most Addicts aren't bad people. Their behaviors and lifestyle are very awful and bad. The woman who kidnapped her baby, in her mind, only 'took back' her child. In the minds of the authorities, she 'committed a crime.' Either way, it was not safe for that infant to be with her mother at a certain time. Hopefully now, the mother has gained a better lifestyle - she probably wasn't an inherently 'bad person' at all. The fact that she was overwhelmed and 'took back' her child is more of an indication of her overwhelmed state (overwhelmed that the child she loved was taken from her) rather than a sign that she was an evil type of criminal. Regardless, the Amber Alert helped in the return of the infant so that the woman's 'lifestyle' and 'addict habits' did not put the child in further and continued jeopardy.
I recall, once I heard the original Alert - and that the woman in question was an addict who had just recently been ordered to turn her child over to protective services - I wasn't worried that the woman in question was some kind of awful criminal. I was only worried that she would be using drugs while the child was with her and that she might be negligent with the child and cause harm in that way.
I just prayed for her to realize the seriousness of the Amber Alert and come to grips with the fact that her child needed to be 'out of her care' for a while until she could get herself straightened out. I never became 'outraged' like some of my peers did when they heard details of the Code Amber Alert...probably because I have experience with turning over a child to a better home while I dealt with Addiction issues, myself.
(Well *gasp* that last sentence was more than I was GOING TO disclose lol but I'll leave it in! 'Cos it's 'on-topic' with this particular post!)
Thankfully - in this instance, the effects of this Code Amber Alert turned out positive!
I think the decision to place the Alert system tickers on this blog is altogether relevant and you will see them in the column to the right from now on.
Please interact with me freely if you should ever see the Alert ticker blacked out and not operational. It may take a moment to load but should then display, basically, it's 'purpose' in the message area - unless there is a current 'Code Amber Alert' in progress - in which case, the details of the message will have a YELLOW/Amber background with details about the Alert in progress.
Women For Sobriety's "New Life" program is for those who would like something in addition to 12 Step programs or who would like some guiding principles instead of a 12 Step program.
WFS is a self-help program that adheres to 13 main principles/statements and accompanying affirmations:
1. I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.
Affirmation: I now take charge of my life. I accept the responsibility.
2. Negative thoughts destroy only myself.
Affirmation: My first conscious act must be to remove negativity from my life.
3. Happiness is a habit I will develop.
Affirmation: Happiness is created, not waited for.
4. Problems bother me only to the degree I permit them to.
Affirmation: I now better understand my problems and do not permit problems to overwhelm me.
5. I am what I think.
Affirmation: I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.
6. Life can be ordinary or it can be great.
Affirmation: Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.
7. Love can change the course of my world.
Affirmation: Caring becomes all important.
8. The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.
Affirmation: Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.
9. The past is gone forever.
Affirmation: No longer will I be victimized by the past, I am a new person.
10. All love given returns.
Affirmation: I will learn to know that others love me.
11. Enthusiasm is my daily exercise.
Affirmation: I treasure all moments of my new life.
12. I am a competent woman and have much to give life.
Affirmation: This is what I am and I shall know it always.
13. I am responsible for myself and for my actions.
Affirmation: I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.
These 13 items are to be used as tools to help in gaining and maintaining recovery - a more manageable and balanced lifestyle. In this, it is suggested that a person rises 15 minutes earlier each day in order to place these 'tools' into use. Go through the Thirteen Affirmations at the start of the day, meditating upon the meaning of each. Then take a single statement (alternating on different days) and use the statement 'mindfully' for the entire day. At the end of the day, review the use of the statement and determine, if possible, its effects upon your day and your actions.
WFS has been around since July 1976 and is both an organization and a self-help program. Women For Sobriety, as the title indicates is a program for women, however, there is also a program called Men For Sobriety (MFS) which is similar in nature and, of course, is for Men who are trying to put their lives back together or maintain lives that they've put back on track after the experiences of addiction.
The WFS and MFS programs, based upon the Thirteen Statements above are programs intended to promote positivity, spiritual, emotional and personal growth. These programs have been effective in helping individuals to overcome alcoholism (and other addiction) and learn to live healthier lifestyles.
The Thirteen Statements should not conflict with other programs of recovery and can be used alongside other programs if an individual so chooses to utilize multiple methods of recovery. The Thirteen Statements approach that WFS (and MFS) uses is currently being used in many clinics, treatment facilities, womens (and mens) centres, hospitals, self-help groups and many other places where alcoholics (addicts) are discovering how to overcome addiction.
The WFS and MFS are programs that each attempt to deal with some specifics of gender where addictions are concerned - because life for men and for women in society is, in fact, different. Men have pressures and situations that don't follow the same for women and vice versa.
For example, many men may not have the 'child-care' stresses that women might have and therefore, in the WFS group, women can address women's issues during their 'recovery gatherings' with a freedom that might not be possible in a both-gender setting. By comparison, men may have 'main household provider' issues that they can feel free to speak about within their male-oriented group. In this, the MFS group can more fully meet the needs of men who are trying to deal with addiction and recovery issues, where they may feel that other 'programs' aren't able to meet certain 'safe discussion' or other support needs.
This post is intended to provide information mainly about the Women For Sobriety program, however, I thought it important to mention that although WFS is a gender-specific group, this doesn't mean that Men are excluded entirely from a similar form of support and self-help opportunity. Since I would not naturally, as a female, attend a Men For Sobriety meeting or gathering, I have limited information about the program but I am working on some correspondence with men involved in the MFS group. I hope to have permission very soon to write about some experiences (maintaining anonymity, of course) with the MFS self-help organization and recovery program.
I have attended WFS meeting locally and found many of the affirmations to be helpful in my own recovery - and I use the affirmations along with other recovery principles from other programs.
The first animation shows an example of 'normal' dopamine activity in the brain. A second example is given afterward to show - again with animations - how dopamine activity is changed when drugs are present in the brain.
The rest of the page explains 'the role of dopamine in motivation and reward.'
To switch emphasis about 'Motivation' back to being motivated about 'Recovery,' here are some comments about staying clean and dealing with addiction to alcohol or drugs.
Set realistic goals. Love yourself enough to believe you deserve to accomplish change in your life. Visualize successful change. Reinforce self success, not matter how small. Be committed to personal health and self-satisfaction to attain and sustain change. Realize that changing for the better is a life-long process, not a single, important event. Devote energy, effort, sustained vigilance, and personal sacrifice. Meditate often - if you don't make this time for yourself, nobody else will. Accept personal responsibility for problem behavior and circumstances. Believe that only through personal efforts can a problem behavior be changed. Break big goals into small parts that can be reasonably attained. Make goals that are quantifiable - measure-able - and KEEP TRACK of them. If your goals are complicated, make sub-goals, to ensure that you can keep on track. Accept that change of old habits is a lifelong process. Replace old habits with new, healthy habits so that old habits have no nest to return to. Remember that failure is not an end result of all things - failure provides a lesson. Realize that the efforts to change do not end once initial cessation of old behaviors is attained. Believe that a work-oriented recovery lifestyle model is a lifelong process. Sustain the change in problem behaviors. Transform failures into knowledge of things you've already done that didn't work. Stop repeating things that don't put out healthy results. Commit to a lifelong contract of behavior change.
The German study conducted to determine differences in how recovering addicts/alcoholics differ from 'healthy' people regarding 'HUMOUR' - basically tells us that
Recovering addicts often have trouble with processing 'humourous' material!
(Sometimes) Addicts Can't Take A Joke. (Sometimes) Addicts Don't 'Get' Jokes. (Sometimes) Addicts don't find things 'funny' that other people do.
The areas tested in the research all involve skills that people use to interpret and understand jokes. Aside from 'mood,' all of the other areas imply that:
An addict's intellectual ability, skewed from abusing substances, is less intellectually tuned to figuring out 'joke material, and...
An addict's memory, skewed from abusing substances, is less capable of drawing on 'previous' information learned - that might assist the addict to 'get the joke'
An addict's psychomotor skills, in question - damaged from substance abuse, are less capable of assisting an addict in the realization of 'punch lines.' You may not think that this 'more physical' area tested wouldn't have anything to do with 'brain-work' but IT DOES because...Psychomotor skills include - INPUT FROM THE EYES, so that external data can be entered to become part of 'brainwork' and the thinking process! An addict's poor 'mentalizing' ability hinders the process of interpreting jokes!
In short - recovering addicts have quite a few damaged areas (even if known only to be scant measures of mental impairment) that fog their ability to see humour as healthier people see humour!
Now that this is known, it's not the end of the world! I thought it was, at first, but after some 'problem-solving,' I realized that if recovering addicts - as well as 'healthy' individuals just keep this information in mind, the addict can learn to think differently by NOT RELYING on only deficient parts of their make-up while healthier people can, if they're aware that the joke they are telling is being processed by a recovering alcoholic, GIVE THE ADDICT MORE TIME for sorting the joke out........and more importantly - BE CALM if the addict is unable to see the humour right away.
Maybe addicts will have to resolve to allow other people to find certain jokes FUNNY even if they don't appreciate the same joke - instead of thinking 'that joke was stupid and that person who thought it was funny - is actually pretty weird (or has a weird sense of humour).'
All in all, if we all agree to disagree, we can all get along, funny or not funny!
How does this further related to addiction, recovery, or this blog - where 12-Step information is ALL OVER THE PLACE?
Well...
Bill W. and Doctor Bob do, in fact, mention in a few places in The Big Book - not to take our addict selves too seriously - but I believe these messages are often overlooked and dwarfed by more graphic wording in The Big Book.
Maybe Bill and Doc Bob were ON TO SOMETHING (that they couldn't properly define in one spot during their time).
Maybe Billy and The B. Doc were trying to say, in a totally non-scientific-non-German-research type of way that:
"Hey heads up! ADDICTS DONT PROCESS HUMOUR THE SAME WAY AS OTHER PEOPLE SO HEADS UP - You'll have to WORK ON IT." (K.I.S.S. version)
Maybe Bill and Doc Bob were (doh) letting fellow-alcoholics KNOW that we often don't understand humour or see humourous content because OUR MINDS process things in a serious fashion...due to long-term damage from our substance abuse. Fellow alcoholics aren't at fault by way of 'character' but by way of physiology - as is supported by the German research.
So, recovery suggestions NOT TO TAKE THINGS SO SERIOUSLY all the time and to DEVELOP A SENSE OF HUMOUR - really are of tantamount importance, aren't they?
In order to understand ANYTHING, I usually have to define what the Twelve Steps mean to me and use my own words and phrasing to make my head believe that these Twelve Steps are going to work for me.
My words will be in bold.
The Twelve Steps:
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable. [I admit to having no control over alcohol - that alcohol controls me. I admit that my life has become CHAOS and that I can no longer live with alcohol present in my life.] 2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. [If I trust in the Creator that I believe in, my life can be recovered and the insanity of active-addiction can stop.] 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. [I am not supposed to be in control of everything in the world, much less EVERY single facet of my life. I can stop being a control freak, let the Creator take care of things beyond my control, and show me how to live.] 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. [Search internally for my flaws, my past bad actions, my present flaws, mistakes, and know my true perceptions of the world right up to today.] 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. [Admit my past mistakes, decisions and actions, my past perceptions, understand how I created my own problems or if I did not create some of them - and share this information with someone in order to stay away from 'keeping secrets' and harbouring bad thoughts.] 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. [Be ready for change, make the decisions to MAKE THE CHANGES necessary to become a better person - and - prepare for THE LOSS of things I grew comfortable with even though they were bad for me.] 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. [Know that I can't do all the removal myself where my faults are concerned - ask for help and more importantly, ACCEPT help when it arrives - even if this is uncomfortable at first and comes from unexpected sources.] 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. [Make the list, be honest about who I hurt, and gather the strength to make amends.] 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. [Correct mistakes where possible, and if this is not accepted by some people, make the effort, anyway, to the best of my ability.] 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. [Evaluate self for strengths as well as returning old bad habits and where old habits or new mistakes occur, 'Say Sorry' and mean it - and also resolve to correct.] 11. Sought though prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. [Allow the Creator and those with more knowledge in spiritual matters to help me grow spiritually. This means dedicating time specifically to spiritual matters - and also - responding to new and different spiritual instruction.] 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs. [Be visible in matters regarding my recovery - and be helpful wherever 12 Step programs are present in my life - whether it's meetings, talking to other recovering addicts or merely taking care of myself properly so that I can be a good example.]
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
11. Sought though prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
It's a darned good thing that Bill W. was a rotten, lousy, stinkin' DRUNK...'cos once he and Doctor Bob got together and figured out how a program with 12 simple (not easy - SIMPLE - don't confuse the two!) steps could help other drunkards, alcoholism lost its POWER over a great many people. Bill W. and Doctor Bob must have known that I would be born in their same century and that by year 2004, I would have lived 20+ years of drunkennes and NEED THEIR HELP DESPERATELY!
I'm glad that Bill W. was a lousy, drunken jerk - 'cos without his efforts, I would probably be dead by now. Or - I'd be sittin' in a run-down bar or lounge INFLICTING CHAOS on anyone near. (Have you seen "My Name Is Bill W" with James Woods (Bill W.) and James Garner (Doctor Bob)? You should!)
The 12-Steps are definitely DAMAGE CONTROL for me.
I don't think the world is out to get me anymore - therefore I treat people with respect now (change in THINKING and in action). I don't think the only way to cope with EVERYTHING is to have a drink - therefore, I engage in many productive activities now (changes in decision-making, problem-solving, and in actions). I don't get drunk anymore - so I don't drive drunk, fall down, pass out or throw up anymore in public! (change in behaviors, less self-centred perceptions - able to think of others) I don't manipulate people to buy me drinks anymore - so I don't cost people money anymore. (changed behaviors, spiritual growth, and a new moral integrity).
If I never do anything otherwise HELPFUL in the world for the rest of my life, I have already alleviated a TON OF CHAOS from the world by not being drunk anymore!
People are SAFE on the roads near my house - because I'm not on the roads or walking down the street with a beer, either driving illegally or walking drunk. Yes, I actually had tickets before when I drank - for 'walking drunk.'! (No rocket science here - I got 'walking drunk' tickets - I also lost my driving permit...as many drunks do).
Am I embarrassed to say that I used to manipulate people for money (so that I could continue to drink), fall down, pass out, drive drunk, walk drunk, lose my driving permit, and create chaos?
Heck - yeah - I'm still kind of embarrassed at the things I was doing 3 years ago. For sure.
But if I share that DAMAGE CONTROL has gotten me UNDER CONTROL, then maybe someone else hearing of someone so rotten drunk that they drove drunk, got tickets for walking drunk, passed out, manipulated people and created chaos - will think that maybe THEY TOO can get their chaos under control with the help of 12 Step programs. Damage Control is available to ANYONE.
To tell the honest truth, I don't KNOW a great deal about 12 Step programs and that's the beauty of them! You don't have to understand every single detail of the 12-Steps in order to benefit.
I underwent counselling for alcohol issues before I used 12 Step programs effectively - and I 'figured out' the ghist of the counselling, then decided I was sooooo smart...and I went and congratulated myself for being so smart...by going to the bar and buying myself a well-deserved drink! My counsellor didn't get on my back, either...we were talkin' about 'harm reduction' and all that jazz...so I drank less for a while and did less harm LOL. Finally - after about 5 weeks of this counselling, I decided that the counsellor was taking up way too much of my 'harm-reduced' drinking time!
Whatever.
12-Step program literature, when I read it, didn't mince words. The A.A. 'Big Book' used PLAIN ENGLISH that frightened me - words like:
In A BAD WAY, at first (because I ran away from it before I had read enough)...
I was scared peepless at first, and put THAT NASTY BOOK DOWN for a few months and headed out to the bar where there were PEOPLE TO PROTECT ME FROM THAT AWFUL LITERATURE! LOL. (The 'few months' stretched into 30+ months).
When I found A.A. literature again, I was at my lowest E-V-E-R. I was so depressed during hangovers that I feared for my life. Acquaintances said, around this time (and for the last 6mo of my drinking career), that when I passed out, I was 'out' for so long, and so still, with breathing so shallow that they were worried I was dead. They used to check on me - not to see if I was okay - but under the fear of having to call authorities and explain my death. My hangovers were literally 'fevered,' I had blackouts while the alcohol was leaving my system (would suddenly pass out after being awake, hungover, for a few hours), had uncontrollable shakes and definitiely worried about seizures. Not to mention the PANIC attacks...
I recalled the word 'death' in the literature, but not many others at the time. Just 'death,' 'disease,' and 'spiritual bankruptcy.' I realized that when I stopped drinking, my body was FAILING ME due to its need to acquire addictive substances - whether I decided in my mind to stop using or not. I understood that I was experiencing this 'spiritual bankruptcy,' but I STILL DREADED reading about it in the Big Book.
Naturally, at first, I thought that the Big Book was going to just give me more jargon and lists of 'scary' things and I sure didn't need to be more scared on the day that the understanding of 'spritual bankruptcy' hit home for me! I was too weak, too confused, depressed, humiliated by my own incompetency in life to just go to an A.A. meeting. Someone working at a shelter I stayed in finally asked me,
"Are you ready now - can I make a call for you?" and I said, "Yes."
The shelter worker called a women's Addiction Treatment Centre for me and that began the proccess of recovery for me. A worker at the treatment centre, when I started DAY 1 of a 28-day program told me,
"Don't worry about 'The Book,' the counselling, the group - or anything...just remember, you're in here to learn 'DAMAGE CONTROL.' That's all you need to remember."
Here's a little video to remind of how DAMAGING drugs and alcohol can be.
Warning: The opening minute and a half is quite graphic and 'Adult Themed' tho' it shows some people who could be of 'Youth' age, so I believe it is appropriate enough for this blog. If you are recently 'on the wagon,' however, you might wish to let the video load and come to watch it only once you hear the vocals start.
I have other blogs on the go. If you've visited them, you'll know that I can type for a freakin' LONG TIME!
Because this is the blog that may be viewed by recovering addicts, I am resolving to K I S S and post - that is, I resolve to keep my entries SHORT.
I know that when I first began my journey of recovery, I couldn't string more than two sentences together, anyway - and sometimes, even THAT was hard. I have been clean for 3 years now (as of Jan 2007) but I still remember what it was like to not be able to associate a 3rd sentence with the first two phrases that someone else JUST SPOKE!
This blog will be an exercise for me in keeping things simple and paring down all chaotic thoughts. For readers, I hope to convey some of my experiences surrounding staying clean and sober. Hopefully, telling of some of the things I have successfully done or still do successfully will help others.
All in all - we each need to find what works for us, in order to stay clean and regain health. For me, sharing helps me stay clean, so here I am and here is my blog.
