Sober Through The Holiday Season

One of the hardest times of year for people to stay sober is during the Christmas season. It's the biggest holiday of the year, with no doubts, and people 'full of good cheer' tend to:

* Take more time off since 2 stat holidays are in close succession (New Year's added)
* Feel obligated, through media ads, commercials, etc., to be 'in the spirit' of Xmas
* Spend more money at this time of year
* Visit family for the occasions of "Christmas Celebrations" and "New Years Parties"
* Have parties both with family/friends but also through workplaces

There are a number of other things that we see ONLY AT CHRISTMAS time and, unfortunately, most of the activities around this time of year don't actually MIX together well to make for happy times...

The fact that there are 2 holiday occasions a week apart - 2 of the most SIGNIFICANT events of the year, hands down - means that:

* Finances are rough for almost everyone
* People overspend
* Often the 2 holiday occassions are connected with each other on peoples' schedules and if one is stressful (Christmas) the tension simply carries over to the next (New Years).
* People often spend much more time with family at this time than at other times of the year, so family tensions invariably run high - it's not always that people don't LIKE their families...but when we grow up, move away from home and do other normal life activities, we get used to "our life" and often don't have the familiarity and patience with family that we used to when we lived at home. THIS IS NORMAL. But almost everyone says, during the Christmas Season - that is IT IS NOT RIGHT to have differences of opinion during this season...
* People EXCUSE the behaviors of family and friends (and employers and co-workers, etc) during this time of year, noting that we are all supposed to be partaking of the 'holiday spirit' of kindness, forgiveness, etc (blah blah blah)...IF we are not practicing these things YEAR ROUND, all the time, then a WEEK OF THIS ACTIVITY during Christmas and New Years is STRESSFUL AND UNCOMFORTABLE for most of us!

...slide youself some slack this Christmas season - Take care of yourself - especially if you have decided you want a sober life.

Here are a few things you can do to protect yourself and your sobriety this season:

* MAKE A SAFETY PLAN !

This is in case people buy you drinks or coax you to drink.

This is in case people around you drink too much this season, even if you don't.

This is in case there are family or social tensions during the season, which might make you feel like you need to drink to calm down.

This is JUST TO BE SAFER THAN PEOPLE WHO AREN'T MAKING PLANS to look after themselves, because - even if they are not drinkers, many people IGNORE their basic needs of sleep, standing up for themselves with family, saying 'no' to the extra cost of things related to Christmas and New Years. If you are a recovering addict, you have to THINK SAFE more than some other people do, that's all.

Here are a few things that I have done as a safety plan.

* Created 'scripts' for potentially uncomfortable situations
* Selected a 'stressbuster' friend to call when things are going rough
* Planned decent sleep times and EXTRA NAP TIME (excitement and visiting is hard on the system)
* Located meetings - of any variety, so that I could attend if stress became an issue
* Made "enough" points to stick to ("have had enough excitement - time to go lay down," or "have had enough of being around a person who is drinking, so I am going to watch TV in another room," or "have had 'enough' Christmas visiting for the day and evening, it's Midnight and it's time for bed)
* Selected a secondary 'sponsor-like' person to call if my first was unavailable - or just in case I needed two support people
* Mandatory visit with sober group of people just prior to visiting family, just to reaffirm that there are A LOT OF PEOPLE who do not drink in this world

A bit on 'scripts' and then I'll close out this post:

* I created 'scripts' for my first sober Christmas - for family situations that seemed to happen every year. This way, I had a response ready and didn't have to think about responding. Sometimes this was just to say "No" to family members who asked me to get drinks for them during the holiday season.

* You know that it's time for a script in situations where people have said "Hey, grab me a drink on your way back to the room," and you nod, without thinking, and plan to fill the request. In early sobriety, this can actually be a dilemma, and people may never have heard you say, "No, I won't do that - please get your own drink" before. And sometimes, people won't even accept this small difference of response from you, do be prepared to have someone look at you like you just grew an ear on your chin and a second head from your elbow lol. Even for something this simple, a 'script' helps YOU. However else someone ELSE reacts to YOUR new, healthier response is really their choice.

This scripting is really helpful and is mainly just thinking AHEAD OF TIME about how to react to situations you are quire sure will occur.

--don't go overboard with this and try to develop a response for EVERYTHING or you'll worry yourself needlessly, but if there are situations that seem to occur every year or some expectations that you know that family members (of friends) had of you when you were a drinker...these are things you can make 'scripts' - new responses - for this season.

The Latest Comment Translated

The latest comment was not in English, so I had it tranlated (from Portuguese to English) as follows:

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There you have it.

Dummy Book For Recovery

I've finally found it! One of the DUMMIES books - all on addictions and recovery!




Though I've never been totally diligent about searching for this title in books stores, I've kept my eye open for it everytime I see a 'Dummies Series' display in bookstores.

Finally, I just did a search online and "Addiction and Recovery For Dummies" showed right up within seconds!

And then a did a search from within one of the book companies I have an affiliate account with and *smacks forehead* The book is RIGHT THERE in my affiliate list.

So, listen up - if you buy this book, you'll be helpin' me out - AND - will be getting the easily explained, no-frills low-down on Addiction and Recovery.

I wish I had checked for this title before!

Thoughts On Sex Addiction

A lot of people either won't talk about Sex Addiction or they don't believe it is a problem like other addictions.

Many people imagine that 'sex addicts' are just those who are pedophiles or people who have very strange sexual fantasies and preferences. Some sexual fantasies aren't mixed up with addiction at all - they're just not for everyone.

Perhaps the problem lies partially in the topic of SEX, itself!

North Americans, in particular have a very set view of what types of SEX are normal.

For most people, 'normal sex' doesn't include:

* sex before marriage
* sex until a person reaches the age of majority (from 18-21 years old)
* female to female sex
* male to male sex
* role-playing sexual games
* loud verbalizing during sex
* discussions with partners about what we like during sexual encounters

The list goes on...

We don't talk enough about sex in healthy ways in many countries, cultures, and societies.

This helps people with sexual addiction to misunderstand the difference between 'kinky' or 'preferences' and 'sex addiction.' Sex addiction is a progressive illness that just keeps getting worse and worse for the addict as time goes on. A sex addict MAY NEVER hurt a child or even think of children and sex together in the same fantasies. Though pedophiles are likely also sex addicts, not every sex addict is a pedophile.

Many sex addicts have never engaged in intercourse before the age of majority, though on the other side of the scale, many were sexually abused as children.

Sex addicts have all kinds of situations, childhood experiences, and factors involved in their addiction - just like alcoholics, cocaine addicts, shopping addicts, heroin addicts, meth addicts, gambling addicts, and any other type of addicts.

Here is another article about Sex Addiction:

A Progressive Illness - Sex Addiction. Cut Out The Porn
(will open in new window)

Sex Addicts can have a successful recovery from their addiction, too. If we start talking about sex and sex addiction, then sex addicts can start to have the same chance of recovery that other addicts have.

Though there are a whole lot of centres for other addictions, there are few that specialize in making sure that sex addiction is treated as a real addiction. Even gamblers seem to be gaining more help these days than those labelled with a sex addiction.

Sex addicts are people with addiction problems that make their lives just as unmanageable as alcohol does to the alcoholic, crack to the cocaine addict.

Please read the article - and don't forget to rate it, as well.


A Progressive Illness - Sex Addiction. Cut Out The Porn
(will open in new window)

Please hit the thumbs up or thumbs down at hubpages once you've read the article.

Contact Me At Yuwie

If you need to get in touch with me, the best place to track me down is at the Yuwie Social Site.

Just log in and search for 'teeray' - send me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

This is the best way to reach me until my Website is completed. I'm still ironing out a few kinks in my website, but once it is up and running smoothly, you'll have a permanent contact spot where you can reach me.

The future home of my site is www.teeray.com

So far, I've just got a mainpage up with a few programs I'm working with, so it's not very exciting yet and my Addiction and Recovery information isn't set up yet. Things should be up and running by September 15 2007, so the wait won't be long!

If You Want To Fail In Your Sobriety

In the early stages of sobriety, several people (including an addictions counsellor) told me to think of sobriety in this way:

"Just think - you only have ONE THING TO CHANGE about your life and self.....

That one thing is:

EVERYTHING."

Obviously, this seemed an insurmountable task - to change EVERYTHING about myself and in my life. But thinking about this phrase actually helped me in untold ways, and I am still sober and clean. Life is not perfect and I am not perfect, but I only have to deal with life on life's terms today. I no longer have to deal with life on life's terms - PLUS - navigating back and forth between the world of drugs and alcohol - and reality. When I wake up every day, I am IN reality and don't have to wonder what the heck is going on. This in itself is the one advantage that cannot be induced or enhanced by any drink or drug on or off the market.

If you don't believe in my words, however, and believe that you need to make sobriety more complicated than "just change Everything," and particularly if you 'Don't Get It,' then maybe you're not quite ready to live a sober life.

There are an infinite number of ways to relapse - but few (and simple) ways to stay sober.

I've just offered a simple concept, however, some people may need to hear the reverse in order to realize the value of sobriety. Some people aren't ready to be sober yet. Some people will need that one last awful drunken (or high) experience and all the hell that will accompany the high, in order to WANT TO GET sober.

Here's a fast track to that experience - just so that you can get it overwith and come back to the real world sooner (all the best to you - luck and all - in case you don't make it back out)

Here are some things that will help you FAIL in your sobriety:

* Hang out with your old friends
* Argue with your family and make sure that you let them know that YOU ARE RIGHT!
* Make life ALL ABOUT YOU - ALL THE TIME
* Keep that extra bottle in the freezer - just in case
* Avoid all 12-step or other recovery meetings
* Sober up ALL ALONE
* THINK EVERYTHING THROUGH - all the time - I mean - every minute detail, before ever taking action
* Use your brain to dissect all the problems in the world
* Focus on what's wrong with the world - instead of what is wrong with YOU
* INSIST on having things YOUR WAY
* Bend that elbow, first thing upon waking - don't think - just DO IT

These are just some little SURE-FIRE TIPS on finding the pathway to relapse.

I hope these have been helpful - and I hope you avoid the above pathway.

Virtual Relapse

Well, if there is such a thing as 'Virtual Relapse,' then I am over it and back on track now. I actually DID READ some of those articles about Scotch, Scotch Whiskey, etc.

YUK!

I was reading these and remembering how AWFUL that stuff tastes and worse - how AWFUL it smells! I couldn't believe the way that the liquor was being described in the articles.

Unfortunately, some people are LOOKING for those articles and those liquors. I had to remind myself that some people don't get carried away when they drink. I still don't understand why they don't, on more than an academic level.

There was a 'liquor' tasting guide in the package and I was reading that, simply amazed that there are people whose JOBS require them to 'taste' liquor and then SPIT IT OUT!

Man - that would never happen if I ever got hold of REAL liquor.

I thought, at first, that the articles were having a 'trigger' effect on me, but when I got to the article that explained 'liquor tasting' events and parties, I actually learned about contrasts.

The contrasts:

* My still-twisted perception about liquor versus 'just tasting' liquors.

Unfortunately, I will never fall into the second group and will never attempt to follow what was written in the articles, however, it was interesting to read from the point of view of someone NOT affected with addiction.

I applied what I read to a 'cooking' and 'tasting' contest - like a 'bake-off' and found that those really are the kinds of words in the articles, the kinds of points of view that the writer must have been coming from.

Once I could do that, things took on a newer and better meaning.

I think that I am less angry about people WHO CAN drink safely now. I have had a bit of apprehension before about being around people who can have 1 or 2 drinks and then stop.

I realize that partly, this was an anger toward them - about people being able to ingest substances, while I can never touch them again. Hopefully, this anger is gone now. I hope so because it was a confusing feeling to be around friends who might accept a beer with a supper meal while we were dining at a restaurant or something.

Probably, I won't ever feel really comfortable around anyone who drinks, even if they are just having a single beer or hi-ball, but I understand now that THEY CAN.

THEY CAN because they are MINUS the quirk and sickness that makes alcoholics - Alcoholics!

I have asked non-addict friends before - to tell me about why they can drink and I can't - why their experience is different than mine. Up until now, I think that my friends, because they know I cannot drink, they have given only part-truthful answers while being afraid to answer completely openly. Now they don't have to because I know.

I read about it.

That's enough for me.

I Just Bought A PACK of Scotch??

I bought Scotch inadvertently and without getting drunk - Haha!

Don't worry - it's NOT what you're thinking!

What is a 'Pack' of Scotch, you ask?

That's what I was asking, too, but I really did purchase a pack of Scotch about 2 days ago. I never got around to opening the Scotch until about an hour ago and I am really finding this funny.

I purchased an info-pack of articles and lessons online the other day. Inside the digi-file that I downloaded was a 'Bonus' pack and one file-set was named the 'Scotch' pack.

Yep - it definitely is a bunch of articles about alcohol, but I don't have a clue what to do with these. The lessons and article bundle I purchased was a 'Meditation and Yoga' package, so I'm not sure why the info-product creator decided that 'Scotch' was a good thing to toss in as a bonus, but I have officially opened a 'Pack of Scotch' without getting drunk in the least!

:)

Would someone technically call this a virtual relapse, or what?

lol

Some Drug Addiction Statistics

Drug Addiction Statistics

Some people don’t like learning about certain statistics, however, numbers are very important when considering the topic of addiction. Statistics can help us identify problem areas involving addictions, particular drugs in question, and numbers can help us better understand what exactly is going on with drug addiction in a particular location.

For instance, according to a 2005 American survey, marijuana was the most commonly used illicit drug in the United States. This was only two years ago, but marijuana has not always been the most commonly used drug. In the 1980's a primary drug of choice was alcohol - with a high number pointing to cocaine, as well. By 2005, marijuana was, by far, the more 'chosen' drug, and from comparing statistics, experts can try to figure out why. Over seventy-six percent of the population reported using marijuana in that 2005 survey year.

An estimated 15.9 million Americans aged twelve or older reported using illicit (illegal) drugs in the month prior to the 2005 survey. That statistic represents 7.1 percent of the population who are aged 12 or older. In 2004, the same figure was about 8 percent LOWER, so there was a significant increase in illicit drug use from 2004 to 2005.

Drug addiction stats are, no doubt, scary as well. In 2003, there were nearly 20,000 deaths directly attributed to drug use both legal and illegal. Of those deaths, about 3 percent were to people 21 years of age and under.

In the year 2001 alone, use of CLUB DRUG, "Ecstasy," increased by 58 percent from the previous year. This statistic was calculated by the amount of people who were admitted to a hospital emergency room with Ecstasy overdoses. Many more people, of course, never did make it to the emergency rooms, so we should really start paying MORE ATTENTION to these figures that are available.

A ton of statistics cannot even be gathered because only a certain amount of the population is prepared to answer questions. Only a certain part of the population are capable and available to answer questions. These stats should probably be higher, in recognition of all the addicts who are not 'polled,' not in treatment, not going to the hospital, etc...

But - back to stats that we do have:

Statistics on rehabilitation center admissions also paint a sad picture regarding drug addiction. In 2006, over 175,000 people checked themselves in to rehab facilities. It is estimated that about 5 percent of those people returned to drug use once they left the drug rehab centers.

Methamphetamine use is a particularly deadly drug that is on the rise as well. In 2006, a whopping 15 percent of the population reported using meth as their primary illicit drug. This can be explained by the fact that "METH" is easy to make with common, inexpensive, household items and it produces a significant high for the user that cannot be obtained by using any other drug.

Perhaps the scariest statistics on drug addiction are the ones that involve our youth. A HUGE number of youth report having been introduced to one type of drug or another on a regular basis by the age of 13. Nearly 50 percent of those children will try drugs by that age, and 20 percent of these will become addicted to various substances before graduating from high school.

It's a big, bad world out there – for adults and children alike. Although we may want to and it is easier to bury our heads in the sand when it comes to drug abuse and addiction issues, it is better and more important to pay attention to the stats and numbers. When presented with statistics on drug addiction, there’s really no way we can ignore the fact that there’s a problem in North America – a very serious drug problem!

Overcoming Prescription Drug Addiction: A Guide to Coping and Understanding Overcoming Prescription Drug Addiction: A Guide to Coping and Understanding

Overcoming Addiction and Alcoholism

Addiction and Alcoholism are two terms for the same affliction. Alcohol is simply a 'drug of choice.'

Things you'll need to think about in order to overcome addiction:

* Understand what addiction is

* Understand that there are 'stages' in both addiction and in recovery

* Addiction Treatment - understand that some personal cases require specific treatment, not according to the addiction but according to the individual and the stage of addiction that the individual is in

* Detox. There are stages of detox and there are also centres that deal in detoxifying people from addictive substances

* There is a difference between gaining benefit from treatment programs versus 'doing time' in treatment programs

* Personal goal-setting is part of getting healthy again. So-called 'normal' and healthy people use goal-setting all the time

* Balance is important

* Overcoming DENIAL is key in overcoming addictions

* Physical fitness and mental fitness go hand in hand to help create spiritual and emotional wellness in a person whose life does not need to center around the use of drugs

* Personal Power is important and learning ways to empower yourself during recovery can help you feel like some of your life is manageable again.


If you don't understand some of these terms, start searching for some information. Try searches on 'personal power,' 'empowerment,' 'denial,' 'detoxification,' and don't be afraid to learn more about how alcohol and drugs affect individuals, families, communities, either.

When people start becoming more aware of how serious addiction is - even in a general community - then people can start to learn how to combat the problem of addiction in case it surfaces close to home.

Even if you don't personally have an addiction issue or someone in your family who is an addict, you can be greatly affected by addictions in your community. Someone you work with, for instance, might have a problem. Your boss, one of your child's teachers, etc. If you are more aware about what addictions are, how the stages of addiction, stages of recovery and stages of detox work, you might be able to better understand an addict in your midst.

If necessary, maybe you can lead an addict to some information that will help to enable that person to overcome an addiction. It might not be a huge, time-defeating effort to help someone, but it will be a HUGE favor if you're just aware of these issues and can simply direct an addict to some help.