Couple Of Jokes

Couple of ladies go into town for the day to do some shopping. They meet up
later in the liquor store. Hey Mary, how ya doing? says Cathy. Oh, pretty
good says Mary, I just got a case of beer for Johnny. Wow, says Cathy, Good
trade!

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last
of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several
false alarm trips to the bathroom, he figured that the latest episode was
just that, so he stayed put. Suddenly, however, he filled his bed with
diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a
complete loss of composure, he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed
sheets, and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking by the
hospital when the sheets landed on him. The drunk started yelling,
stumbling, and swinging his arms violently, in an attempt to free himself of
the sheets. He ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his
feet. As the drunk stood there, staring down at the sheets, A hospital
security guard who had witnessed the entire incident, walked up to him and
asked, "What the heck is going on?" The drunk, still staring down at the
sheets, replied, "I think I just beat the crap out of a ghost."

Alcohol Surveys

Hey People!

I don't know if you ever receive these - or how many 'mailing lists' you're on - but I just received almost a DOZEN 'spam-mail' surveys in the past day.

ALL of this spam pertains to surveys wanting to know my preferences for certain alcoholic beverages! All stuff I cannot drink.

Haha!

Darn - now that I am sober and recovering, I am not going to win the following prizes:

* a 1.5Gig MP3 Player
* 12 Free Hardcover books with the purchase of 1 book for only $4.99US
* a package of coupons redeemable at some USA location that I can't get to (for Wine products)
* a Coors Light cooler
* a ('nother beer company) ballcap w/matching T-shirt
* sports tickets for 2 to some US game that I can't get to anyway (lol)
* $100 cash, redeemable with 6 (Beer brand) proofs of purchase
And a Kokanee bottle opener if I just print a coupon out and take it to a participating liquor store haha.

I'm kinda ticked off 'bout losing that MP3 Player - however, the money I save by not drinking ought to allow me to buy a whole bunch of batteries now for my old MP3 Player, eh?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh It's good to be sober tho'.....

Have a great day!