Micky Has Commented About 12 Step Programs

You can read Micky's post on his own blog, I have provided the link...(psst it's in the title)

I thought I should deal with this comment directly as a full blog post because it's a really excellent comment...

Here's the comment (I'm putting it here 'cos half the time people don't notice the comments section)

Here's what Micky said:

""A recent copy of Reader's Digest has a couple of articles on Alcoholics Anonymous. The crux of the articles is that the famous 12 Steps, don't work at all. Apparently, there's no data to support the claim that Alcoholics Anonymous is successful at getting people to stop drinking. From my own experience, the 12 Steps, shut down the critical thinking section of ones brain. What do you think? Comments are welcome!!
PEACE BE WITH YOU
MICKY""

What I think about this is:

I agree

and

I disagree, too

Rather - I believe that 'The Program,' when used with some common sense, is very VERY beneficial for those who choose to follow the 12 Step Principles.

I think that Micky is right, in a way, about 12-Step programs having the ability to "shut down critical the thinking section of ones brain." I have observed this in certain fellow-members, myself - there is NO DOUBT ABOUT IT!!! (I have been guilty of this, on occassion, during my early recovery-time, too - it was EASIER to just think in terms of 'slogans' during a time when I was learning to see the life through eyes that hadn't been clouded with drugs or alcohol for many years).

Don't take my words to mean that I am in total agreement with the comment, however, because I am not.

In a paragraph or so, what is considered to be a fairly reasonable set of principles for guiding ones actions in life - has been conveniently labelled and set into a certain narrow frame - that of '12-Step Programs Do This To People.'

Yes - 12-Step Programs can become very 'repetitive' and SOME PEOPLE can learn to rely very heavily on the kind of text (literature) that 12-Step Programs offer people. This can decrease their chances of 'thinking for themselves.' The way that 'The Program' is put forth, in general, it allows many people to become 'dependent' on 12-Step slogans, limitations, fellowship, etc., and, in fact, LEARN NOT TO THINK FOR THEMSELVES.

This, however, is not an indication of a problem with 'The Program.'

I believe that situations whereby people stop thinking for themselves and stop thinking 'critically,' are much more complex than just saying 'That's because of 12-Step in that person's life.'

Many, many more people are, with the utilization of 12-Step Programs, learning to think MORE CRITICALLY in many areas of their lives, because beyond a simplistic level, this is what 12-Step programs are really about...the clear messages in the 12-Step literature that I have read and learned are about HUMILITY (Not embarrassment), and learning to honour myself and my body in ways that I never knew how to do before when I used to drink and drug. Mainly, this means - "NO DRINKING OR DRUGGING," and if I happen to be having a day where my 'will' to remain sober and clean happens to be minimal and at a dangerously low level, I turn back to checking out the 12 Step Principles.

I am able to take a critical look about my actions, behaviors, attitudes and thoughts and not just run to a 12-Step meeting, recite slogans and such. I'm not the best 'spokesperson' of the program, according to many 'die-hard' followers, because I REFUSE TO NAG others about going to meetings, reading thier books, etc. The way that each person internalizes 12 Step literature and principles is very INDIVIDUAL, and I have no right to press on someone who doesn't want to look more critically and intensely at 12-Step principles and utilize their value.

I truly believe that if I rely on 12-Step so much that, on a steady basis, I HAVE TO BE AT A MEETING 'X' amount of times per week OR else relapse - then I am only acting upon 'The Program's' WORST ASPECTS...the very ones mentioned by Micky -

Thanks for the great comment post, Micky - it never hurts to QUESTION what our beliefs are, how we use the things we know, how we react to things in life.

After all - it's our BELIEFS that are important, right? They form our set of standards for ourselves, help us decide what our 'ethical make-up' will be. If our beliefs revolve around 12-Step principles, and we use these principles well, there should be little problem in the way that we live life.

If we use ANY principles wrongly, then we are lost, right?

Wouldn't this include - the principles of being a good psychologist or doctor or anything? A lawyer or even a general labourer can also stop using their critical thinking process. A lawyer may refuse to 'practice' business in new ways as modern world and business practices change. A doctor may refuse to believe in or may simply be unaware of a new medical breakthrough that occurs in our modern day, yet he/she is still following a set of 'sound principles' that has worked for years. The lawyer or the doctor may have stopped using their critical thinking skills to question their present principles...it happens in all kinds of situations, not just with recovering alcoholics - and not just with 12-Step programs.

Again, Micky, thank you for the comment - which has made me think very hard about how I would 'sum up' a definition of '12-Step Program.'

Ultimately, I cannot 'sum-it-up' nicely, but your comment made me realize how often we do attempt to sum up whole sets of principles all down to a few sentences - and then we also make judgments on those statements that result.

I hope to hear from you again!

teeray~~

For Workaholics

Working can be a way of avoiding issues, creating barriers between the people that we're in relationships with, a way of escaping other details of life, in general - in the same way that substances like drugs and alcohol can be used for avoidance, blocking relationships, erecting barriers, and denying life's other details, too.

Here, like with 'shop-a-holics,' we are focused on the 'behaviors' of people who might not be using substances like drugs or alcohol - but who exhibit similar behaviors, for similar reasons as drug addicts and alcoholics do.

A lot of people won't accept 'working too much' as an actual problem, however, the behaviors that people obsessed with work display and experience - often inhibit their enjoyment of life, their actual contribution to society in other important life-realms besides the work/job fields, and their abilities to connect with people and hone healthy relationships with people.

There are good reasons to incorporate a 12-Step approach where 'Workaholic' behaviors are present - even where the presence of mood-altering substances is not a factor - because 12-step information and practices can help the workaholic to start dealing with avoidance, escaping, barriers and relationships again.

Workaholics have the behavior of 'working compulsively'
Shoppers have the behavior of 'shopping, spending compulsively'
Addicts and alcoholics 'use compulsively'
Sex addicts compulsively engage in sexual activities or obsess in the mind, compulsively, about sexual-related things.

Just because some of these things don't include 'substance abuse' - this doesn't mean that they aren't troublesome and in need of correction in our lives.

"Behavior-holic" behaviors can cause the same kinds of damage that drug and alcohol abuse can in the lives of the individual as well as that individual's family, friends, co-workers, community extensions, etc.

Workaholism currently is not considered very seriously to be a problem and this is a dangerous assumption - for ANYTHING that interferes with a person's capacity to engage in healthy relationships and cope reasonably with life situations, should be taken seriously.

Of those who aren't struggling with whether 'workaholism' is, indeed, an issue to be taken seriously, 12-Step literature and principles are often a helpful 'tool.'

Here are some questions to ask yourself, if you're worried that your attitudes concerning work and job activities, your behaviors surrounding work and job-related details might be a problem in your life:

1 Do you get more excited about your work than about family or anything else?
2 Are there times when you can charge through your work and other times when you can't?
3 Do you take work with you to bed? On weekends? On vacation?
4 Is work the activity you like to do best and talk about most?
5 Do you work more than 40 hours a week?
6 Do you turn your hobbies into money-making ventures?
7 Do you take complete responsibility for the outcome of your work efforts?
8 Have your family or friends given up expecting you on time?
9 Do you take on extra work because you are concerned that it won't otherwise get done?
10 Do you underestimate how long a project will take and then rush to complete it?
11 Do you believe that it is okay to work long hours if you love what you are doing?
12 Do you get impatient with people who have other priorities besides work?
13 Are you afraid that if you don't work hard you will lose your job or be a failure?
14 Is the future a constant worry for you even when things are going very well?
15 Do you do things energetically and competitively including play?
16 Do you get irritated when people ask you to stop doing your work in order to do something else?
17 Have your long hours hurt your family or other relationships?
18 Do you think about your work while driving, falling asleep or when others are talking?
19 Do you work or read during meals?
20 Do you believe that more money will solve the other problems in your life?


If you answer "yes" to three or more of these questions you may be a workaholic. Relax. You are not alone.


If you answered 'yes' to several of the questions, WELCOME TO MY WORLD!

LOL

Since I stopped using drugs and alcohol, my life hasn't been perfect, by any means. In particular, my BEHAVIORS and ATTITUDES didn't become perfect just because I put the substances down. Some of the above 20 points weren't really in my life when I used substances, nor were they part of my life during early recovery...I actually TURNED TO SOME of those behaviors and situations in the 20 points after I was sober and clean for a while, ENJOYING RECOVERY - after I had enough clean time to APPRECIATE RECOVERY!

I STILL learned or turned to some of those workaholic behaviors...because even if they aren't 'substance abuse' factors...those things are EASY FOR ME TO FALL INTO - because I still don't have excellent coping skills for all of what life can throw at me...so I run and jump into 'work' - which for me is my STUDIES...

Admittedly, though I am clean and sober, I am working on incorporating the information about 'workaholic' tendencies into my life...because - in the absense of the substances I learned to rely on for years - I will still find 'behaviors' to use that feel 'familiar' to help me HIDE from responsibility sometimes, avoid relationships sometimes, ignore parts of life that I am uncomfortable dealing with!

It helps for me to snoop around and check out all kinds of 12-Step literature, whether it's about Alcoholism, Drug Addiction, Cocaine, Marijuana, Shopping/spending irrationally, Gambling, Workaholic info - anything and everything...because the literature is aimed at dealing with the behaviors, the situations behind the behaviors, the REASONS why people engage in or exhibit these unhealthy behaviors and how, why, sometimes WHEN people often rely on these types of things - instead of selecting healthier, more socially accepted behaviors.

I don't know everything about WHY or WHEN I use different unhealthy behaviors but if I turn to 12-step and other types of literature for help, I don't have the hopelessly confused attitude and feelings that accompanied me for the whole of my life during my active addictions...

The literature doesn't explain everything to me - but it sure gives me a head start on knowing that life isn't hopeless.

If you've been thinking that maybe you're working too hard and it is affecting your life in adverse ways, your relationships, your finances, even...maybe it wouldn't hurt to check out some 12-Step literature to see if anything helps. You may not find all the answers you need - and the literature won't solve your every problem, but maybe it will help you put things in perspective and help you decide if you can or you SHOULD try to do something about the way you're engaging in, thinking about, or your attitude toward WORKING - possibly 'overworking.'

Here's the WORKAHOLICS ANONYMOUS website:

WORKAHOLICS ANONYMOUS

Damage Control Explained Pt 1 (Video Here, Too)

It's a darned good thing that Bill W. was a rotten, lousy, stinkin' DRUNK...'cos once he and Doctor Bob got together and figured out how a program with 12 simple (not easy - SIMPLE - don't confuse the two!) steps could help other drunkards, alcoholism lost its POWER over a great many people. Bill W. and Doctor Bob must have known that I would be born in their same century and that by year 2004, I would have lived 20+ years of drunkennes and NEED THEIR HELP DESPERATELY!

I'm glad that Bill W. was a lousy, drunken jerk - 'cos without his efforts, I would probably be dead by now. Or - I'd be sittin' in a run-down bar or lounge INFLICTING CHAOS on anyone near. (Have you seen "My Name Is Bill W" with James Woods (Bill W.) and James Garner (Doctor Bob)? You should!)

The 12-Steps are definitely DAMAGE CONTROL for me.

I don't think the world is out to get me anymore - therefore I treat people with respect now (change in THINKING and in action).
I don't think the only way to cope with EVERYTHING is to have a drink - therefore, I engage in many productive activities now (changes in decision-making, problem-solving, and in actions).
I don't get drunk anymore - so I don't drive drunk, fall down, pass out or throw up anymore in public! (change in behaviors, less self-centred perceptions - able to think of others)
I don't manipulate people to buy me drinks anymore - so I don't cost people money anymore. (changed behaviors, spiritual growth, and a new moral integrity).

If I never do anything otherwise HELPFUL in the world for the rest of my life, I have already alleviated a TON OF CHAOS from the world by not being drunk anymore!

People are SAFE on the roads near my house - because I'm not on the roads or walking down the street with a beer, either driving illegally or walking drunk. Yes, I actually had tickets before when I drank - for 'walking drunk.'! (No rocket science here - I got 'walking drunk' tickets - I also lost my driving permit...as many drunks do).

Am I embarrassed to say that I used to manipulate people for money (so that I could continue to drink), fall down, pass out, drive drunk, walk drunk, lose my driving permit, and create chaos?

Heck - yeah - I'm still kind of embarrassed at the things I was doing 3 years ago. For sure.

But if I share that DAMAGE CONTROL has gotten me UNDER CONTROL, then maybe someone else hearing of someone so rotten drunk that they drove drunk, got tickets for walking drunk, passed out, manipulated people and created chaos - will think that maybe THEY TOO can get their chaos under control with the help of 12 Step programs. Damage Control is available to ANYONE.

To tell the honest truth, I don't KNOW a great deal about 12 Step programs and that's the beauty of them! You don't have to understand every single detail of the 12-Steps in order to benefit.

I underwent counselling for alcohol issues before I used 12 Step programs effectively - and I 'figured out' the ghist of the counselling, then decided I was sooooo smart...and I went and congratulated myself for being so smart...by going to the bar and buying myself a well-deserved drink! My counsellor didn't get on my back, either...we were talkin' about 'harm reduction' and all that jazz...so I drank less for a while and did less harm LOL. Finally - after about 5 weeks of this counselling, I decided that the counsellor was taking up way too much of my 'harm-reduced' drinking time!

Whatever.

12-Step program literature, when I read it, didn't mince words. The A.A. 'Big Book' used PLAIN ENGLISH that frightened me - words like:

death, lies, Higher Power, powerless, surrender, honesty, self-assessment, disease, spiritual bankruptcy.

THAT kind of language GOT MY ATTENTION.

In A BAD WAY, at first (because I ran away from it before I had read enough)...

I was scared peepless at first, and put THAT NASTY BOOK DOWN for a few months and headed out to the bar where there were PEOPLE TO PROTECT ME FROM THAT AWFUL LITERATURE! LOL. (The 'few months' stretched into 30+ months).

When I found A.A. literature again, I was at my lowest E-V-E-R. I was so depressed during hangovers that I feared for my life. Acquaintances said, around this time (and for the last 6mo of my drinking career), that when I passed out, I was 'out' for so long, and so still, with breathing so shallow that they were worried I was dead. They used to check on me - not to see if I was okay - but under the fear of having to call authorities and explain my death. My hangovers were literally 'fevered,' I had blackouts while the alcohol was leaving my system (would suddenly pass out after being awake, hungover, for a few hours), had uncontrollable shakes and definitiely worried about seizures. Not to mention the PANIC attacks...

I recalled the word 'death' in the literature, but not many others at the time. Just 'death,' 'disease,' and 'spiritual bankruptcy.' I realized that when I stopped drinking, my body was FAILING ME due to its need to acquire addictive substances - whether I decided in my mind to stop using or not. I understood that I was experiencing this 'spiritual bankruptcy,' but I STILL DREADED reading about it in the Big Book.

Naturally, at first, I thought that the Big Book was going to just give me more jargon and lists of 'scary' things and I sure didn't need to be more scared on the day that the understanding of 'spritual bankruptcy' hit home for me! I was too weak, too confused, depressed, humiliated by my own incompetency in life to just go to an A.A. meeting. Someone working at a shelter I stayed in finally asked me,

"Are you ready now - can I make a call for you?" and I said,
"Yes."

The shelter worker called a women's Addiction Treatment Centre for me and that began the proccess of recovery for me. A worker at the treatment centre, when I started DAY 1 of a 28-day program told me,

"Don't worry about 'The Book,' the counselling, the group - or anything...just remember, you're in here to learn 'DAMAGE CONTROL.' That's all you need to remember."

Here's a little video to remind of how DAMAGING drugs and alcohol can be.

Warning: The opening minute and a half is quite graphic and 'Adult Themed' tho' it shows some people who could be of 'Youth' age, so I believe it is appropriate enough for this blog. If you are recently 'on the wagon,' however, you might wish to let the video load and come to watch it only once you hear the vocals start.