For Workaholics

Working can be a way of avoiding issues, creating barriers between the people that we're in relationships with, a way of escaping other details of life, in general - in the same way that substances like drugs and alcohol can be used for avoidance, blocking relationships, erecting barriers, and denying life's other details, too.

Here, like with 'shop-a-holics,' we are focused on the 'behaviors' of people who might not be using substances like drugs or alcohol - but who exhibit similar behaviors, for similar reasons as drug addicts and alcoholics do.

A lot of people won't accept 'working too much' as an actual problem, however, the behaviors that people obsessed with work display and experience - often inhibit their enjoyment of life, their actual contribution to society in other important life-realms besides the work/job fields, and their abilities to connect with people and hone healthy relationships with people.

There are good reasons to incorporate a 12-Step approach where 'Workaholic' behaviors are present - even where the presence of mood-altering substances is not a factor - because 12-step information and practices can help the workaholic to start dealing with avoidance, escaping, barriers and relationships again.

Workaholics have the behavior of 'working compulsively'
Shoppers have the behavior of 'shopping, spending compulsively'
Addicts and alcoholics 'use compulsively'
Sex addicts compulsively engage in sexual activities or obsess in the mind, compulsively, about sexual-related things.

Just because some of these things don't include 'substance abuse' - this doesn't mean that they aren't troublesome and in need of correction in our lives.

"Behavior-holic" behaviors can cause the same kinds of damage that drug and alcohol abuse can in the lives of the individual as well as that individual's family, friends, co-workers, community extensions, etc.

Workaholism currently is not considered very seriously to be a problem and this is a dangerous assumption - for ANYTHING that interferes with a person's capacity to engage in healthy relationships and cope reasonably with life situations, should be taken seriously.

Of those who aren't struggling with whether 'workaholism' is, indeed, an issue to be taken seriously, 12-Step literature and principles are often a helpful 'tool.'

Here are some questions to ask yourself, if you're worried that your attitudes concerning work and job activities, your behaviors surrounding work and job-related details might be a problem in your life:

1 Do you get more excited about your work than about family or anything else?
2 Are there times when you can charge through your work and other times when you can't?
3 Do you take work with you to bed? On weekends? On vacation?
4 Is work the activity you like to do best and talk about most?
5 Do you work more than 40 hours a week?
6 Do you turn your hobbies into money-making ventures?
7 Do you take complete responsibility for the outcome of your work efforts?
8 Have your family or friends given up expecting you on time?
9 Do you take on extra work because you are concerned that it won't otherwise get done?
10 Do you underestimate how long a project will take and then rush to complete it?
11 Do you believe that it is okay to work long hours if you love what you are doing?
12 Do you get impatient with people who have other priorities besides work?
13 Are you afraid that if you don't work hard you will lose your job or be a failure?
14 Is the future a constant worry for you even when things are going very well?
15 Do you do things energetically and competitively including play?
16 Do you get irritated when people ask you to stop doing your work in order to do something else?
17 Have your long hours hurt your family or other relationships?
18 Do you think about your work while driving, falling asleep or when others are talking?
19 Do you work or read during meals?
20 Do you believe that more money will solve the other problems in your life?


If you answer "yes" to three or more of these questions you may be a workaholic. Relax. You are not alone.


If you answered 'yes' to several of the questions, WELCOME TO MY WORLD!

LOL

Since I stopped using drugs and alcohol, my life hasn't been perfect, by any means. In particular, my BEHAVIORS and ATTITUDES didn't become perfect just because I put the substances down. Some of the above 20 points weren't really in my life when I used substances, nor were they part of my life during early recovery...I actually TURNED TO SOME of those behaviors and situations in the 20 points after I was sober and clean for a while, ENJOYING RECOVERY - after I had enough clean time to APPRECIATE RECOVERY!

I STILL learned or turned to some of those workaholic behaviors...because even if they aren't 'substance abuse' factors...those things are EASY FOR ME TO FALL INTO - because I still don't have excellent coping skills for all of what life can throw at me...so I run and jump into 'work' - which for me is my STUDIES...

Admittedly, though I am clean and sober, I am working on incorporating the information about 'workaholic' tendencies into my life...because - in the absense of the substances I learned to rely on for years - I will still find 'behaviors' to use that feel 'familiar' to help me HIDE from responsibility sometimes, avoid relationships sometimes, ignore parts of life that I am uncomfortable dealing with!

It helps for me to snoop around and check out all kinds of 12-Step literature, whether it's about Alcoholism, Drug Addiction, Cocaine, Marijuana, Shopping/spending irrationally, Gambling, Workaholic info - anything and everything...because the literature is aimed at dealing with the behaviors, the situations behind the behaviors, the REASONS why people engage in or exhibit these unhealthy behaviors and how, why, sometimes WHEN people often rely on these types of things - instead of selecting healthier, more socially accepted behaviors.

I don't know everything about WHY or WHEN I use different unhealthy behaviors but if I turn to 12-step and other types of literature for help, I don't have the hopelessly confused attitude and feelings that accompanied me for the whole of my life during my active addictions...

The literature doesn't explain everything to me - but it sure gives me a head start on knowing that life isn't hopeless.

If you've been thinking that maybe you're working too hard and it is affecting your life in adverse ways, your relationships, your finances, even...maybe it wouldn't hurt to check out some 12-Step literature to see if anything helps. You may not find all the answers you need - and the literature won't solve your every problem, but maybe it will help you put things in perspective and help you decide if you can or you SHOULD try to do something about the way you're engaging in, thinking about, or your attitude toward WORKING - possibly 'overworking.'

Here's the WORKAHOLICS ANONYMOUS website:

WORKAHOLICS ANONYMOUS

Drunks Tick me off and Drunks With Dogs Joke

I'm not feeling very serious lately. Well, I'm cranky, actually...
About my recovery 'Yes-serious'
About things in general 'No' - no serious allowed.
I've had a bad week, so I started looking up jokes to cheer myself up.

I'm cranky because - a drunk neighbor nearly burned down our apartments last Saturday when he passed out with food in the oven, so I have had my fill of 'serious' this week. To boot, doc says I will be sick for a while (NO really effective meds I can take because I screwed up for 20+ years as an addict and cannot take most drugs without risk of addiction to the prescriptions - grr) because I have to heal naturally. *coughcough* Heck - there was no fire at all, either - just a lot of SMOKE. I woke the guy up before anything began to 'flame,' but the smoke was pretty brutal at the time and I had to leave my apartment for 2 hours before I could breathe in my own place again.

This proves:
Drinking can affect even people who aren't family or friends!

Starting or almost starting a fire because you're so fried on dope and alcohol - is very much like driving drunk then, isn't it? The drunk/druggie doesn't think their problem is anyone else's...but really

IT IS anyone around them that shares in the problem.

Now - my health problems, for however long they last 'til I heal up, stop having headaches and extra coughing, etc...are my problem - because I'm clean but someone else who lives beside me won't clean up their act!

I wasn't going to bring this to my blog and just bytch about it...but I've been hangin' on to it since Saturday and really...

It's a pretty pertinent topic for the blog, don't you think?

Anyhow - that's my blurb about bein' bytchy and sick...and also - here's a li'l info 'bout how being bytchy and sick can affect thinking when you're in recovery...

(something that I had to work on for a while JUST NOW 'cos this is the stuff that can make addicts in recovery - go back out and use)

... since I am up in the middle of the night from medication that I CAN TAKE which makes me jittery and wakes me up - and I was otherwise probably going to wake up from coughing anyway...I decided not to just lay there and feel kinda sick - I got up and started reading. I got even crankier than expected, really quick-like and homework sucked after about an hour... I slammed the books shut and got to wondering why I sobered up in order to live near an addict who keeps causing *coughcough* apartment problems blahblahblah (told ya I'm sick'n'cranky, eh?)...and finally, I started thinkin' that I might as well have gone to the bar last weekend and caused my OWN PROBLEMS with booze. I figured for a while it was starting to make sense that way because - so long as I don't have any control over OTHER PEOPLE but they can SERIOUSLY AFFECT my life with THEIR BOOZE and DRUG problems...blahblahblah it was just getting worse 'cos I am *coughcough* tired and cranky and it's the middle of the night...

It was all just stinkin' thinkin'...

SO I HAD TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS...

Just spent the last hour IGNORING HOMEWORK and reading JOKES!

NOW I still feel kinda cranky and kinda sick - but feeling NOT SERIOUS AT ALL...

Plus...I don't think, anymore, that I should have just gone to the bar last weekend, etc, etc...that was just bytchy pity thinkin' from a little while ago and I'm glad I'm over that...

SO anyhow...here's a joke I thought was kinda cute...

Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a doberman and the other,
a chihuahua. As they walked down the street, the one with the doberman said
to her friend, Let's go over to that bar for a drink. The lady with the
chihuahua said, We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us. The one with
the doberman said, Just watch, and do as I do. They walked over to the bar
and the one with the doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to
walk in. The bouncer at the door said, Sorry, lady, no pets allowed. The
woman with the doberman said, You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye
dog. The bouncer said, A doberman? The woman said, Yes, they're using them
now. They're very good. The bouncer said, OK, come on in. The lady with the
chihuahua thought that convincing him that a chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog
may be a bit more difficult, but thought, what the heck, so she put on her
dark glasses and started to walk in. Once again the bouncer said, Sorry,
lady, no pets allowed. The woman said, You don't understand. This is my
seeing-eye dog. The bouncer said, A chihuahua? The woman with the chihuahua
said, A chihuahua? The bastards sold me a chihuahua?

I'm glad I didn't just lay around when I couldn't sleep 'cos that's when 'sick and tired of it' thoughts and 'stinking thinking' thoughts occur - and I'm glad I got up to read some cool jokes. Now I'm tired but laughing.

Wow - what a screwed up post, eh?

I'm outta here - got more jokes to read.

About SMART Recovery

SMART Recovery is a program that concentrates on 4 main areas of Recovery
(S.mart M.anagement A.nd R.ecovery T.raining - SMART!)

1. Enhancing and Maintaining Motivation to Abstain

2. Coping with Urges

3. Problem Solving (the management of thoughts, feelings and behaviors)

4. Lifestyle Balance (Balancing short and long term satisfaction) Smart Recovery facilitators teach how to deal with the above four points.

The assumptions that SMART RECOVERY folk have concerning why a person becomes an addict have to do with both substance use as well as engaging in certain activities. All people experience degrees of addictive/addiction behaviors, however, those who find that their lives are facing too great a degree of negative consequence according to these behaviors of addiction, may benefit from accessing SMART RECOVERY principles and help.

Smart Recovery attempts to help individuals 'gain libertation from' addictive behaviors.
In simpler terms, Smart Recovery deals with

1-maintaining motivation, 2-coping with craving,
3-thinking rationally, and 4-leading a balanced lifestyle.

Smart Recovery draws much of its information from the psychology field, in the area of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).

In this, out of control behaviors surrounding addiction are less a disease - and more like 'complex maladaptive behaviors.'

Though these concepts of 'addiction' differ from 12 Step principles, Smart Recovery doesn't
EXCLUDE the use of 12-Step principles in anybody's recovery.

Many 'Treatment' and 'Rehab' centres utilize 12 Step methods - but there are some who advocate use of Smart Recovery methods. As well, some places utilize an array of other principles, programs, methods and theories. There are all kinds of addicts, all kinds of personal reasons why people are addicted to drugs, substances, and activities. Whichever methods work to combat addictive behaviors in anyone's life should be used as fully and beneficially as possible.


On the SMART Recovery website there is a 'Tool Chest' if you're interested in checking it out:

The SMART Recovery Tool Chest Page

You'll need a PDF Reader to use the free downloadable documents on the SMART Recovery website's Tool Chest page.

If you don't have a PDF Reader, you can grab Adobe products:

ADOBE READER and Other ADOBE PRODUCTS

You should be able to download a free trial/evaluation copy of the Adobe software, however, if you find you can't use the Adobe Reader software - for whatever reasons - here are some other PDF Readers that will work:

VisageSoft eXPert PDF and Other Products

and

Foxit Reader/Software

Now, just to warn you - I've never used the eXPert PDF product, so I can't recommend it highly. I have used the Foxit software and it's really good software, nicely navigable and easy to use. You can get both the latter products for free.

Anyhow - check out the SMART Recovery tools. Even if you're dead-set on 12-Step programs, there are some awesome downloadable 'checklists' and things at the SMART RECOVERY website that are really effective for keeping track of behaviors. 12-Step methods are also about changing behaviors, so it can't hurt to go grab some extra tools!

Let me know how you liked the Smart Recovery site! (It's easy to navigate!)

Of Tantamount Importance Pt 3 - Conclusion

Alright, so the dreaded (and dumb, in my opinion) joke is past.

*whew*

Back to the study:

The German study conducted to determine differences in how recovering addicts/alcoholics differ from 'healthy' people regarding 'HUMOUR' - basically tells us that

Recovering addicts often have trouble with processing 'humourous' material!

(Sometimes) Addicts Can't Take A Joke.
(Sometimes) Addicts Don't 'Get' Jokes.
(Sometimes) Addicts don't find things 'funny' that other people do.

The areas tested in the research all involve skills that people use to interpret and understand jokes. Aside from 'mood,' all of the other areas imply that:

An addict's intellectual ability, skewed from abusing substances, is less intellectually tuned to figuring out 'joke material, and...

An addict's memory, skewed from abusing substances, is less capable of drawing on 'previous' information learned - that might assist the addict to 'get the joke'

An addict's psychomotor skills, in question - damaged from substance abuse, are less capable of assisting an addict in the realization of 'punch lines.' You may not think that this 'more physical' area tested wouldn't have anything to do with 'brain-work' but IT DOES because...Psychomotor skills include - INPUT FROM THE EYES, so that external data can be entered to become part of 'brainwork' and the thinking process! An addict's poor 'mentalizing' ability hinders the process of interpreting jokes!

In short - recovering addicts have quite a few damaged areas (even if known only to be scant measures of mental impairment) that fog their ability to see humour as healthier people see humour!

Now that this is known, it's not the end of the world! I thought it was, at first, but after some 'problem-solving,' I realized that if recovering addicts - as well as 'healthy' individuals just keep this information in mind, the addict can learn to think differently by NOT RELYING on only deficient parts of their make-up while healthier people can, if they're aware that the joke they are telling is being processed by a recovering alcoholic, GIVE THE ADDICT MORE TIME for sorting the joke out........and more importantly - BE CALM if the addict is unable to see the humour right away.

Maybe addicts will have to resolve to allow other people to find certain jokes FUNNY even if they don't appreciate the same joke - instead of thinking 'that joke was stupid and that person who thought it was funny - is actually pretty weird (or has a weird sense of humour).'

All in all, if we all agree to disagree, we can all get along, funny or not funny!

How does this further related to addiction, recovery, or this blog - where 12-Step information is ALL OVER THE PLACE?

Well...

Bill W. and Doctor Bob do, in fact, mention in a few places in The Big Book - not to take our addict selves too seriously - but I believe these messages are often overlooked and dwarfed by more graphic wording in The Big Book.

Maybe Bill and Doc Bob were ON TO SOMETHING (that they couldn't properly define in one spot during their time).

Maybe Billy and The B. Doc were trying to say, in a totally non-scientific-non-German-research type of way that:

"Hey heads up! ADDICTS DONT PROCESS HUMOUR THE SAME WAY AS OTHER PEOPLE SO HEADS UP - You'll have to WORK ON IT." (K.I.S.S. version)

Maybe Bill and Doc Bob were (doh) letting fellow-alcoholics KNOW that we often don't understand humour or see humourous content because OUR MINDS process things in a serious fashion...due to long-term damage from our substance abuse. Fellow alcoholics aren't at fault by way of 'character' but by way of physiology - as is supported by the German research.

So, recovery suggestions NOT TO TAKE THINGS SO SERIOUSLY all the time and to DEVELOP A SENSE OF HUMOUR - really are of tantamount importance, aren't they?

(even if the joke is awful)

Of Tantamount Importance!! (you'll never guess) Pt 1

You might not guess what one of the most important things is, when considering 'cleaning up' and maintaining clean recovery...

Nope - it's not the sponsor. A sponsor is important...but what do you do when your sponsor is temporarily unavailable...?

Nope - it's not meetings. Meetings are important...but what do you do when you're in trouble during REAL LIFE SITUATIONS and you can't dash out from a 'business engagement,' school, a family situat, road trip, etc., and run off to a meeting...?

Nope - it's not "Do the work" or "Write it out like 'The Book' says or most OTHER 12-Step-driven suggestions. All of those are important, too...but what do you do if, while you're 'working through,' or 'writing it out,' you encounter SERIOUS emotional reactions (very likely to occur, but this will help you understand YOUR ADDICTION in order to combat it)...and you're taking into consideration what you learned at your last 12-step meeting, all your sponsor's suggestions, etc., and YOU STILL FEEL like you're in trouble...?


THE ANSWER:

Go ahead and go the scientific route!

And that will lead to HUMOUR!!

HUMOUR is TOTALLY USEFUL in recovery!

Seriously!! Humour is really, really really important in recovery.

But first - we need to understand about how substance abuse actually impairs 'humour' in recovering addicts.

A respected Journal simply called, 'Addiction' recently aired a the results of a recent German study that indicated that problem drinkers can't really take a joke as well as some people.

The research subjects were 29 patients in Bochum Germany known to be in recovery because they were - well....... they were in a west-German treatment facility. The control group by which the 'recovery group' was compared were 29 people considered healthy by the researchers' standards. The 29 addicts/alcoholics and the 29 healthy people were all given the same tests.

Part of the testing involved a section where all participants read JOKES! The addicts didn't get some of the jokes, even though some of the punchlines could be realized through logic if one so choose to be 'dead serious' rather than use their propensity for humour! Still - through tools of LOGIC PLUS HUMOUR, the addict group didn't see the humour where they should, as compared with the 29 healthy people. (So - SMARTS plus Humour were lower in addicts than they were in healthy people).

There was more involved in the research other than just measuring responses to jokes. The other things measured helped to uncover WHY addicts might not 'get the jokes.'

Mood was measured
Intellectual ability was measured
Memory abilities were measured
Psychomotor skills were measured
Mentalizing ability (perception and 'other-people-awareness') was measured - aptitude for predicting and understanding other peoples' behaviors.

And, of course, 'capacity to appreciate jokes' was measured.

(Interjection.....)
I read a sample joke from the Addiction Journal article - which was used in the research. I had to read the joke TWICE...and my opinion forever is that it is a really BAD JOKE! I will offer it near the end, after I give you all of the information about the study - PLUS - it's such a total groaner that I don't want to lose readers...I definitely had to USE LOGIC instead of real 'haha-ability' in order to get the right answer, believe it or not.

My 'opinion,' believe it or not - actually SUPPORTS the findings of this study. I'm kinda P-O-ed about this, because I consider myself to have a really broad and open sense of humour! After reading the full article about the study, however, I feel kind of fortunate to have been able to get the right answer...because now I know, from a certain scientific standpoint - that there is a definite 'block' to my funny-bone, so-to-speak, and that I should work harder on seeing things differently. I know now that I may have to use logic along with open-ness to 'humour' - for the rest of my life - in order to understand jokes (humour, intricate uses of language, subtle variations of word-play, and determination of OTHER PEOPLES' behavior etc...) that come easily to healthier people.
(End of interjection...)

Back to the study...

92 percent of the 'healthier' people but LESS THAN 68 percent of the addict group were able to select the correct punchline. As I said before - the joke will follow closer to the end - if I type it in now, you'll GROAN SO BAD - if you're a recovering addict - that you may not even finish reading. Apparently, if you're a 'healthy' person, you'll appreciate and 'get' the joke but I'm worried that you will laugh so hysterically, enjoying the joke - that you'll fall over and not finish reading about the study.

*LOL* ??

The recovery/addict group also fared worse in the mood, intellect, memory, psychomotor skill and 'mentalizing' parts of the testing.

The fact that recovering addicts didn't do so well, especially in the 'mentalizing' parts of the testing, is a pretty clear reinforcement of what is known about an addict's lessened ability to 'socialize' well like more healthy people do.

Jokes occur primarily in social settings. Naturally, there are other ways to put jokes forth, such as through comics, books, forwarded emails, etc., which leave the 'reader' alone with the joke - to interpret the joke in whatever way necessary - however this research concentrated largely on the form of jokes that would occur in a social situation (where the 'receiver' of the joke might gain information from SOMEONE ELSE about how to properly receive the joke).

Because addicts did poorly in other areas tested, we can make a general assumption that addicts really DO HAVE A PROBLEM in the 'HUMOUR' area!

Okay - this post is too long already...and contains some information that recovering addicts might not like at all (I Don't Like It! I can 'appreciate it' but I am still pretty ticked off to find out that I AM ONE WHO DOES NOT INTERPRET JOKES WELL, when before, I thought I ROCKED in the 'getting jokes' area). Actually, I am going for a walk to cool off before I post the BAD JOKE - I am having a 'Drama Queen attack of Can't-Stand-It-itis' over all this! I'll include the *cough*(hiding the 'j' word) , final comments about the German study, and how this all relates to why HUMOUR IS OF TANTAMOUNT IMPORTANCE TO RECOVERING ADDICTS in the next post!