Showing posts with label journey of recovery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label journey of recovery. Show all posts

Monday, April 9, 2007

Program Promises

I must have been ONE FORTUNATE addict when I cleaned up - and it must have been 'my time' for sure, because I understood 'The Promises' and experienced a taste of them within my first week of sobriety.

Here are the Promises from pages 83 and 84 of the Alcoholics Anonymous book:

“If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us — sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.”

I was definitely AMAZED before I was halfway through. What I realized during the first week of sobriety is that I had made a DECISION. That decision FREED ME from all the self-inflicted alcohol-depression, hangovers, the cycle of hangovers and binges. Though I didn't feel it very often at first, I did experience feelings of 'peace' in knowing I wasn't fully immersed and entangled in a trap anymore. I wasn't free from every bad thing, but I was FREE from GETTING DRUNK and initiating the next hangover, the next bout of depression and panic attacks.

I felt more FREEDOM knowing that I would never have to return to FEELING THAT OLD WAY if I didn't drink again. I didn't know how I was going to 'not drink' for the rest of my life...but after a few days of sobriety, I knew how I stayed sober the day before...and resolved that if I didn't know how I would stay sober 'TOMORROW' and 'JUST FOR ONE DAY' ahead of time, or even 'Just For Today' - that I would simply do what I did YESTERDAY.

Whatever works, right?

'The Promises,' for some reason, are a concept that, even at the start of my recovery, I never did take lightly. I made fun of them on the surface, but never strongly declared that I doubted the possibilities on pages 84 and 85 of the A.A. Literature. I am fortunate, because I grasped onto those pages RIGHT AWAY. I was never one who spent a lot of time asserting, "Those things will never happen with me!" A few of my peers who said that the promises would never appear in their lives have died drug-related deaths. Some are out drinking and drugging today. Most have just relapsed and disappeared. A small number of immediate peers with whom I started my recovery journey with - have stayed clean. I can count these only on hand, but they, too, say that they understand The Promises - and they understood pages 84 and 85 of the Big Book early on.

Apart from the decision I made 3 years ago - to stop drinking...I also made a decision that if I felt that any of 'The Promises' were transpiring in my life, I would REFUSE TO GIVE THEM UP. That has always meant, for me, that I refuse to trade any freedom I've gained, any peace, serenity I've ever felt since being sober, any 'new happiness'...for a drink.

Friday, April 6, 2007

What Is A 12 Step Program?

I've been involved with 12-Step programs for over 3 years. I've heard all kinds of definitions about what a 12 Step program is, including:

"A 12-Step program is a set of principles by which a recovering addict can re-structure the unmanageablity of his or her life, brought on by his or her previous alcoholic way of life."

(When I was about 1 week CLEAN and heard that one...I didn't even know that sentence was in ENGLISH sheeeeeeeeeesh - I just nodded and smiled and said "yes, yes.")

Here's another one:

"Twelve Step programs are the most laissez faire way of life on earth. 'Laissez Faire' = 'noninterference in the affairs of others.' "

*blink...........blink* I STILL don't understand that one - and I should, because I've been involved with Lassez Faire ooooooooops, I mean 12-Step programs for three years now.

One more:
(I nabbed this one straight from wikipedia so it has to be correct, right? lol)

"The Twelve-step program is a set of guiding principles for recovery from addictive, compulsive, or behavioural problems, originally developed by the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous (abbreviated A.A.) to guide recovery from alcoholism."

Again - principles and blahblahblah.

Whatever.

My definition of a 12-Step Program - down to its most SIMPLE (KISS), fundamental impression and meaning:

DAMAGE CONTROL!

12-step programs are DAMAGE CONTROL for addicts.

I had to hear THAT 3 years ago to understand why people were telling me to get a sponsor, go to meetings, and Keep It Simple Smartarse!
eXTReMe Tracker