Last Night Of The Calgary Stampede

Tonight is THE BIG NIGHT at The Calgary Stampede!! All the events will be finished up in the early evening, winners and losers will be determined and then

Calgary will GO CRAZY with partying!!

A friend of mine who works as a volunteer at a phone-in crisis centre in the city recently told me that she's expecting to put in very regular time at the centre this following week. A lot of people will have really 'overdone it' drinking over these past 10 days and will be needing some help sobering up.

It's really a shame. A real, true shame.

It's a shame that an event such as The Calgary Stampede is such a risky one for such a large group of people who are known as 'alcoholics' and 'addicts.' A HUGE AMOUNT of sponsorship, marketing, and advertising for The Calgary Stampede is wrapped up in Alcohol Production and Distribution companies and organizations. Alcohol name brands are splashed extra heavily around the city right at this time, for an extended time period. I heard a comment recently, related to Advertising-Stampede-Alcoholics that really ticked me off. Here's the comment:

"Just because some people are alcoholics, and they don't know how to drink safely, it doesn't mean that the extra ads during Stampede time should be a concern at all. Most people don't have problems. The few who do should 'suck it up' over Stampede time and stay home. Stay away from those of us who DO know how to party without phukking up our lives."

I'm only upset with this comment because the person making the statement seemed truly unaware that the 'few' who are alcoholics in our general population are really not just 'a few.' (Okay, I'm also upset that this statement came from someone who appears to me, to be having a HUGE problem putting the bottle down, but that's just my opinion.)

Addicts are from all walks of life, all income groups, and there are probably a few hundred-thousand people, at LEAST - who had a very hard time this year with the mass partying attitude that accompanies the Calgary Stampede. These same will have a hard time next year staying away from substances which shouldn't be taken lightly. Saying 'suck it up' doesn't help.

Being 'flippant' about alcoholism doesn't help, either.

I'm glad I was and felt safe this year for a 10-day occasion that for some, is literally a 10-day 'bender' or 'drunk-fest.'

The Wrong Way To Consider 12-Steps

Just Joking Here

LOL

Read!

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has completed their aftercare.
Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not learn our
numerous slogans, and go to 90 meetings in 90 days. They are usually
men and women who are constitutionally incapable of forming meaningful
relationships in treatment centers. There are such unfortunates.
They are not at fault; their therapist told them so. They are naturally
incapable of grasping and developing a relationship with a vulnerable
newcomer. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too,
who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them
do recover if they have the capacity to form meaningful relationships.

Our stories disclose in a general way: how we were harmed, what happened
to those who harmed us, and how we got even in the end. If you have
decided you want what we have, you obviously haven't been paying attention
to our stories. If you're still determined to get what we have and are
willing to exert minimal effort to get it--then you are ready for a
temporary sponsor.

At their first suggestion we balked. We were sure that our sponsors
didn't understand. We were determined to find a sponsor who would see
things our way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command,
we beg of you to take it easy on these old fools. Some of us have tried
to re-educate our sponsors but the result was nil until we let go of
them absolutely.

Remember that we are dealing with your ego, cunning, baffling, powerful!
Without constant praise and reassurance it is too much for us. But there
is one, and possibly more, who has all power, that one is your significant
other. May you find them now!

Half measures availed us nothing. It was time to move in together. Having
abandoned common sense completely, we asked his or her protection and care
with great expectations.

Here are the steps we took, which interpreted properly, offer a spiritual
path to staying sober and having your own way in a meaningful relationship:

1. Don't drink or get loaded. Try to ignore the fact that you've never
actually been able to do this.

2. Came to believe that the right relationship could restore us to sanity.

3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of our
significant other, assuming they had what we needed.

4 Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our significant other.

5 Complained to God, to ourselves, and to our temporary sponsors about
the exact nature of their wrongs.

6 Were entirely ready to have God remove these defective characters.

7 Humbly demanded that He find us the right significant other.

8 Made a list of everyone we found attractive and became willing to have
significant relationships with them all.

9. Made direct amends to people we believed might still be willing to
help us restore our net worth, except when their significant other was
attractive to us.

10. Continued to find fault with others and when they were wrong promptly
pointed it out.

11. Sought through prayer and manipulation to improve the behavior of our
significant other, praying for knowledge of all their hot buttons and
just the right time to push them.

12. Having gotten our own way as the result of these steps, we tried to
convince our significant other that this was really for their own good,
and that their future happiness lay in doing my will.

Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! They won't go through with it."
Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to do this with just
one partner. Fortunately the treatment centers, meetings, and social
activities are full of prospects who are not saints. The point is, that
we are willing to keep replacing partners until we find one or more who
will do it our way.

The principles we have set down have proven themselves in coffee shops,
clubhouses, and meetings across the land. We claim personal development
rather than personal perfection.

Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the wives, and our
personal difficulties before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and it wasn't our fault.

(b) That our current therapist and significant other could not relieve
our alcoholism.

(c) That the right partner could and would if they were sought.

:)

Can You Tell Myth From Fact?

Some statments about alcoholism and addiction.

Can you tell what things are true and which are myth?


1. Beer is not as intoxicating as "hard liquor".

2. Alcohol, a depressant drug, slows down reaction time and affects judgement. The effects of alcohol (and any other drug) depends not only on the amount consumed, but also on a number of other factors such as, the past drinking experience of the user, the way in which it is consumed, the feelings and mood of the person.

3. Spider and insects who are victims of the cycle of addiction are truly a new and widespread concern among scientists who only realized in 2006 that arachnids and insects actually had a propensity for addiction. Before the 2007 film, "Spiders On Drugs," (which detailed the results of extensive studies on spiders in the Canadian Hinterlands), the world merely thought that spiders and insects were nominal, unimportant, gross little creatures - acting upon instincts - rather than exhibiting addictive and co-dependent behaviors.

4. People who drink or use drugs harm not only themselves, but others such as their families and friends who care about them. The costs are even greater if a person drinks and drives.

5. Drinking coffee or taking a cold shower are ways of sobering up quickly.

6. Eating before drinking will keep a person from getting drunk.

7. Just as many women have drinking problems as men. However, women are less likely to seek treatment because of lower self-esteem, the stigma attached to being a female drinker, and the barriers associated with family responsibilities.

8. Drinking among natives is higher than drinking among the general population.

9. Blacking out and passing out are the same thing.

10. Beer is as intoxicating as "hard liquor". The same amount of alcohol is in a 12oz. bottle of beer and 1½ oz. of "hard liquor". Sometimes these beverages affect individuals in different ways but they are just as intoxicating.

11. If a person drinks or uses other drugs, they are only hurting themselves.

12. The "Spiders On Drugs" Video is a joke project put together by US higher-education students, therefore, addict spiders, including the 'Crack Spider's Bitch,' don't really live in the Hinterlands of Canada.

13. If a person can abstain for weeks or even months between drinking bouts, he/she does not have a drinking problem.

14. Eating before and while drinking slows down the body's absorption of alcohol, but there is no magical way to keep alcohol out of the bloodstream.

15. There is no help available for people with alcohol and other drug dependency problems.

16. Passing out is when a person who has consumed alcohol loses consciousness (goes to sleep). A blackout occurs after a person consumes alcohol and doesn't remember what happened, what he/she did or said even though they are conscious. They experience chemically induced memory loss.

17. A high percentage of alcoholics are skidrow bums.

18. Drinking is not as harmful as using illegal drugs such as marijuana, LSD, etc

19. There are no short cuts to sobering up. The body metabolizes alcohol at the rate of approximately one drink per hour. Time is the only way to sober up.

20. Less than 3% of the people who have alcohol problems are skidrow bums. Alcoholism affects people of all ages, social, and economic backgrounds.

21. More men have drinking problems than women.

22. Although alcohol use is legal and more socially acceptable than using illegal drugs, it is still classified as a drug. Alcohol has the potential to be abused and is one of the most abused drugs in society. Alcohol like illegal drugs can be physically and/or psychologically addictive.

23. Research indicates that the prevalence of native drinking is approximately the same in non-native groups. However, of those who drink, more natives have an "excessive drinking" pattern rather than a "social drinking" pattern (Moss 1979, cited in Moss et al, 1985).

24. A person does not have to drink every day or every week to have a problem with alcohol. As well as looking at the amount of drinking, the effect of alcohol on a person's major life areas such as; home, friends, social, school, job, legal, leisure, medical, and financial need to be considered. If sonemone's drinking affects even one of these areas, the person should consider receiving help to keep it from causing more problems.

25. There are a wide variety of services available worldwide people with dependency problems, as well as their families. Self-Help groups (Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon, Alateen, Adult Children of Alcoholics), detoxification units for males and females, outpatient counselling services, and inpatient counselling services are all available to those who will only seek the help they require.

26. A little drinking doesn't affect driving ability.

How many of these can you guess? How many are true, how many are false or myth?

I'll come back and post the differences soon.

Just for today beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee HAPPY!!

:)

About Women For Sobriety (Men For Sobriety, Too)

Women For Sobriety's "New Life" program is for those who would like something in addition to 12 Step programs or who would like some guiding principles instead of a 12 Step program.

WFS is a self-help program that adheres to 13 main principles/statements and accompanying affirmations:

1. I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.

Affirmation: I now take charge of my life. I accept the responsibility.


2. Negative thoughts destroy only myself.

Affirmation: My first conscious act must be to remove negativity from my life.


3. Happiness is a habit I will develop.

Affirmation: Happiness is created, not waited for.


4. Problems bother me only to the degree I permit them to.

Affirmation: I now better understand my problems and do not permit problems to overwhelm me.


5. I am what I think.

Affirmation: I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.


6. Life can be ordinary or it can be great.

Affirmation: Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.


7. Love can change the course of my world.

Affirmation: Caring becomes all important.


8. The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.

Affirmation: Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.


9. The past is gone forever.

Affirmation: No longer will I be victimized by the past, I am a new person.


10. All love given returns.

Affirmation: I will learn to know that others love me.


11. Enthusiasm is my daily exercise.

Affirmation: I treasure all moments of my new life.


12. I am a competent woman and have much to give life.

Affirmation: This is what I am and I shall know it always.


13. I am responsible for myself and for my actions.

Affirmation: I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.


These 13 items are to be used as tools to help in gaining and maintaining recovery - a more manageable and balanced lifestyle. In this, it is suggested that a person rises 15 minutes earlier each day in order to place these 'tools' into use. Go through the Thirteen Affirmations at the start of the day, meditating upon the meaning of each. Then take a single statement (alternating on different days) and use the statement 'mindfully' for the entire day. At the end of the day, review the use of the statement and determine, if possible, its effects upon your day and your actions.

WFS has been around since July 1976 and is both an organization and a self-help program. Women For Sobriety, as the title indicates is a program for women, however, there is also a program called Men For Sobriety (MFS) which is similar in nature and, of course, is for Men who are trying to put their lives back together or maintain lives that they've put back on track after the experiences of addiction.

The WFS and MFS programs, based upon the Thirteen Statements above are programs intended to promote positivity, spiritual, emotional and personal growth. These programs have been effective in helping individuals to overcome alcoholism (and other addiction) and learn to live healthier lifestyles.

The Thirteen Statements should not conflict with other programs of recovery and can be used alongside other programs if an individual so chooses to utilize multiple methods of recovery. The Thirteen Statements approach that WFS (and MFS) uses is currently being used in many clinics, treatment facilities, womens (and mens) centres, hospitals, self-help groups and many other places where alcoholics (addicts) are discovering how to overcome addiction.

The WFS and MFS are programs that each attempt to deal with some specifics of gender where addictions are concerned - because life for men and for women in society is, in fact, different. Men have pressures and situations that don't follow the same for women and vice versa.

For example, many men may not have the 'child-care' stresses that women might have and therefore, in the WFS group, women can address women's issues during their 'recovery gatherings' with a freedom that might not be possible in a both-gender setting. By comparison, men may have 'main household provider' issues that they can feel free to speak about within their male-oriented group. In this, the MFS group can more fully meet the needs of men who are trying to deal with addiction and recovery issues, where they may feel that other 'programs' aren't able to meet certain 'safe discussion' or other support needs.

This post is intended to provide information mainly about the Women For Sobriety program, however, I thought it important to mention that although WFS is a gender-specific group, this doesn't mean that Men are excluded entirely from a similar form of support and self-help opportunity. Since I would not naturally, as a female, attend a Men For Sobriety meeting or gathering, I have limited information about the program but I am working on some correspondence with men involved in the MFS group. I hope to have permission very soon to write about some experiences (maintaining anonymity, of course) with the MFS self-help organization and recovery program.

I have attended WFS meeting locally and found many of the affirmations to be helpful in my own recovery - and I use the affirmations along with other recovery principles from other programs.

The Story Of Two Wolves

The following old parable illustrates the importance of staying in the "solution" rather than focusing to strongly on the problem.

An older Cherokee man is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he says to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

One is evil. He is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, selfishness, arrogance, self pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.

The other is good. He is love, joy, peace, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.

This same fight is going on inside you and inside every other person." The grandson thinks about it for a minute and then asks his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee replies, "The one you feed."

What Is A 12 Step Program?

I've been involved with 12-Step programs for over 3 years. I've heard all kinds of definitions about what a 12 Step program is, including:

"A 12-Step program is a set of principles by which a recovering addict can re-structure the unmanageablity of his or her life, brought on by his or her previous alcoholic way of life."

(When I was about 1 week CLEAN and heard that one...I didn't even know that sentence was in ENGLISH sheeeeeeeeeesh - I just nodded and smiled and said "yes, yes.")

Here's another one:

"Twelve Step programs are the most laissez faire way of life on earth. 'Laissez Faire' = 'noninterference in the affairs of others.' "

*blink...........blink* I STILL don't understand that one - and I should, because I've been involved with Lassez Faire ooooooooops, I mean 12-Step programs for three years now.

One more:
(I nabbed this one straight from wikipedia so it has to be correct, right? lol)

"The Twelve-step program is a set of guiding principles for recovery from addictive, compulsive, or behavioural problems, originally developed by the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous (abbreviated A.A.) to guide recovery from alcoholism."

Again - principles and blahblahblah.

Whatever.

My definition of a 12-Step Program - down to its most SIMPLE (KISS), fundamental impression and meaning:

DAMAGE CONTROL!

12-step programs are DAMAGE CONTROL for addicts.

I had to hear THAT 3 years ago to understand why people were telling me to get a sponsor, go to meetings, and Keep It Simple Smartarse!