SIMPLE APPROACH TO THE 12 STEPS
Step 1: There's a power that will kill me.
Step 2: There's a Power that wants me to live.
Step 3: Which do I want? (If you want to die, stop here.
If you want to live, go on.)
Step 4: Using examples from your own life, understand that
selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear control
your actions.
Step 5: Tell all your private embarrassing secrets to
another person.
Step 6: Decide whether or not you want to live that way
any more.
Step 7: If you want your life to change, ask a Power
greater than yourself to change it for you. (If you could
have changed it yourself, you would have long ago.)
Step 8: Figure out how to make right all the things you did
wrong.
Step 9: Fix what you can without causing more trouble in
the process.
Step 10: Understand that making mistakes is part of being
human (When you make a mistake, fix it, immediately if
you can.)
Step 11: Ask for help to treat yourself and others the way
you want your Higher Power to treat you.
Step 12: Don't stop doing 1 through 11, and pass it on!
A.S.A.P.
Always Say A Prayer
Showing posts with label 12 step for dummies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 12 step for dummies. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
The Wrong Way To Consider 12-Steps
Just Joking Here
LOL
Read!
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has completed their aftercare.
Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not learn our
numerous slogans, and go to 90 meetings in 90 days. They are usually
men and women who are constitutionally incapable of forming meaningful
relationships in treatment centers. There are such unfortunates.
They are not at fault; their therapist told them so. They are naturally
incapable of grasping and developing a relationship with a vulnerable
newcomer. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too,
who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them
do recover if they have the capacity to form meaningful relationships.
Our stories disclose in a general way: how we were harmed, what happened
to those who harmed us, and how we got even in the end. If you have
decided you want what we have, you obviously haven't been paying attention
to our stories. If you're still determined to get what we have and are
willing to exert minimal effort to get it--then you are ready for a
temporary sponsor.
At their first suggestion we balked. We were sure that our sponsors
didn't understand. We were determined to find a sponsor who would see
things our way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command,
we beg of you to take it easy on these old fools. Some of us have tried
to re-educate our sponsors but the result was nil until we let go of
them absolutely.
Remember that we are dealing with your ego, cunning, baffling, powerful!
Without constant praise and reassurance it is too much for us. But there
is one, and possibly more, who has all power, that one is your significant
other. May you find them now!
Half measures availed us nothing. It was time to move in together. Having
abandoned common sense completely, we asked his or her protection and care
with great expectations.
Here are the steps we took, which interpreted properly, offer a spiritual
path to staying sober and having your own way in a meaningful relationship:
1. Don't drink or get loaded. Try to ignore the fact that you've never
actually been able to do this.
2. Came to believe that the right relationship could restore us to sanity.
3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of our
significant other, assuming they had what we needed.
4 Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our significant other.
5 Complained to God, to ourselves, and to our temporary sponsors about
the exact nature of their wrongs.
6 Were entirely ready to have God remove these defective characters.
7 Humbly demanded that He find us the right significant other.
8 Made a list of everyone we found attractive and became willing to have
significant relationships with them all.
9. Made direct amends to people we believed might still be willing to
help us restore our net worth, except when their significant other was
attractive to us.
10. Continued to find fault with others and when they were wrong promptly
pointed it out.
11. Sought through prayer and manipulation to improve the behavior of our
significant other, praying for knowledge of all their hot buttons and
just the right time to push them.
12. Having gotten our own way as the result of these steps, we tried to
convince our significant other that this was really for their own good,
and that their future happiness lay in doing my will.
Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! They won't go through with it."
Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to do this with just
one partner. Fortunately the treatment centers, meetings, and social
activities are full of prospects who are not saints. The point is, that
we are willing to keep replacing partners until we find one or more who
will do it our way.
The principles we have set down have proven themselves in coffee shops,
clubhouses, and meetings across the land. We claim personal development
rather than personal perfection.
Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the wives, and our
personal difficulties before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and it wasn't our fault.
(b) That our current therapist and significant other could not relieve
our alcoholism.
(c) That the right partner could and would if they were sought.
:)
LOL
Read!
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has completed their aftercare.
Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not learn our
numerous slogans, and go to 90 meetings in 90 days. They are usually
men and women who are constitutionally incapable of forming meaningful
relationships in treatment centers. There are such unfortunates.
They are not at fault; their therapist told them so. They are naturally
incapable of grasping and developing a relationship with a vulnerable
newcomer. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too,
who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them
do recover if they have the capacity to form meaningful relationships.
Our stories disclose in a general way: how we were harmed, what happened
to those who harmed us, and how we got even in the end. If you have
decided you want what we have, you obviously haven't been paying attention
to our stories. If you're still determined to get what we have and are
willing to exert minimal effort to get it--then you are ready for a
temporary sponsor.
At their first suggestion we balked. We were sure that our sponsors
didn't understand. We were determined to find a sponsor who would see
things our way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command,
we beg of you to take it easy on these old fools. Some of us have tried
to re-educate our sponsors but the result was nil until we let go of
them absolutely.
Remember that we are dealing with your ego, cunning, baffling, powerful!
Without constant praise and reassurance it is too much for us. But there
is one, and possibly more, who has all power, that one is your significant
other. May you find them now!
Half measures availed us nothing. It was time to move in together. Having
abandoned common sense completely, we asked his or her protection and care
with great expectations.
Here are the steps we took, which interpreted properly, offer a spiritual
path to staying sober and having your own way in a meaningful relationship:
1. Don't drink or get loaded. Try to ignore the fact that you've never
actually been able to do this.
2. Came to believe that the right relationship could restore us to sanity.
3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of our
significant other, assuming they had what we needed.
4 Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our significant other.
5 Complained to God, to ourselves, and to our temporary sponsors about
the exact nature of their wrongs.
6 Were entirely ready to have God remove these defective characters.
7 Humbly demanded that He find us the right significant other.
8 Made a list of everyone we found attractive and became willing to have
significant relationships with them all.
9. Made direct amends to people we believed might still be willing to
help us restore our net worth, except when their significant other was
attractive to us.
10. Continued to find fault with others and when they were wrong promptly
pointed it out.
11. Sought through prayer and manipulation to improve the behavior of our
significant other, praying for knowledge of all their hot buttons and
just the right time to push them.
12. Having gotten our own way as the result of these steps, we tried to
convince our significant other that this was really for their own good,
and that their future happiness lay in doing my will.
Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! They won't go through with it."
Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to do this with just
one partner. Fortunately the treatment centers, meetings, and social
activities are full of prospects who are not saints. The point is, that
we are willing to keep replacing partners until we find one or more who
will do it our way.
The principles we have set down have proven themselves in coffee shops,
clubhouses, and meetings across the land. We claim personal development
rather than personal perfection.
Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the wives, and our
personal difficulties before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and it wasn't our fault.
(b) That our current therapist and significant other could not relieve
our alcoholism.
(c) That the right partner could and would if they were sought.
:)
Sunday, May 6, 2007
About SMART Recovery
SMART Recovery is a program that concentrates on 4 main areas of Recovery
(S.mart M.anagement A.nd R.ecovery T.raining - SMART!)
1. Enhancing and Maintaining Motivation to Abstain
2. Coping with Urges
3. Problem Solving (the management of thoughts, feelings and behaviors)
4. Lifestyle Balance (Balancing short and long term satisfaction) Smart Recovery facilitators teach how to deal with the above four points.
The assumptions that SMART RECOVERY folk have concerning why a person becomes an addict have to do with both substance use as well as engaging in certain activities. All people experience degrees of addictive/addiction behaviors, however, those who find that their lives are facing too great a degree of negative consequence according to these behaviors of addiction, may benefit from accessing SMART RECOVERY principles and help.
Smart Recovery attempts to help individuals 'gain libertation from' addictive behaviors.
In simpler terms, Smart Recovery deals with
1-maintaining motivation, 2-coping with craving,
3-thinking rationally, and 4-leading a balanced lifestyle.
Smart Recovery draws much of its information from the psychology field, in the area of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).
In this, out of control behaviors surrounding addiction are less a disease - and more like 'complex maladaptive behaviors.'
Though these concepts of 'addiction' differ from 12 Step principles, Smart Recovery doesn't
EXCLUDE the use of 12-Step principles in anybody's recovery.
Many 'Treatment' and 'Rehab' centres utilize 12 Step methods - but there are some who advocate use of Smart Recovery methods. As well, some places utilize an array of other principles, programs, methods and theories. There are all kinds of addicts, all kinds of personal reasons why people are addicted to drugs, substances, and activities. Whichever methods work to combat addictive behaviors in anyone's life should be used as fully and beneficially as possible.
On the SMART Recovery website there is a 'Tool Chest' if you're interested in checking it out:
The SMART Recovery Tool Chest Page
You'll need a PDF Reader to use the free downloadable documents on the SMART Recovery website's Tool Chest page.
If you don't have a PDF Reader, you can grab Adobe products:
ADOBE READER and Other ADOBE PRODUCTS
You should be able to download a free trial/evaluation copy of the Adobe software, however, if you find you can't use the Adobe Reader software - for whatever reasons - here are some other PDF Readers that will work:
VisageSoft eXPert PDF and Other Products
and
Foxit Reader/Software
Now, just to warn you - I've never used the eXPert PDF product, so I can't recommend it highly. I have used the Foxit software and it's really good software, nicely navigable and easy to use. You can get both the latter products for free.
Anyhow - check out the SMART Recovery tools. Even if you're dead-set on 12-Step programs, there are some awesome downloadable 'checklists' and things at the SMART RECOVERY website that are really effective for keeping track of behaviors. 12-Step methods are also about changing behaviors, so it can't hurt to go grab some extra tools!
Let me know how you liked the Smart Recovery site! (It's easy to navigate!)
(S.mart M.anagement A.nd R.ecovery T.raining - SMART!)
1. Enhancing and Maintaining Motivation to Abstain
2. Coping with Urges
3. Problem Solving (the management of thoughts, feelings and behaviors)
4. Lifestyle Balance (Balancing short and long term satisfaction) Smart Recovery facilitators teach how to deal with the above four points.
The assumptions that SMART RECOVERY folk have concerning why a person becomes an addict have to do with both substance use as well as engaging in certain activities. All people experience degrees of addictive/addiction behaviors, however, those who find that their lives are facing too great a degree of negative consequence according to these behaviors of addiction, may benefit from accessing SMART RECOVERY principles and help.
Smart Recovery attempts to help individuals 'gain libertation from' addictive behaviors.
In simpler terms, Smart Recovery deals with
1-maintaining motivation, 2-coping with craving,
3-thinking rationally, and 4-leading a balanced lifestyle.
Smart Recovery draws much of its information from the psychology field, in the area of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).
In this, out of control behaviors surrounding addiction are less a disease - and more like 'complex maladaptive behaviors.'
Though these concepts of 'addiction' differ from 12 Step principles, Smart Recovery doesn't
EXCLUDE the use of 12-Step principles in anybody's recovery.
Many 'Treatment' and 'Rehab' centres utilize 12 Step methods - but there are some who advocate use of Smart Recovery methods. As well, some places utilize an array of other principles, programs, methods and theories. There are all kinds of addicts, all kinds of personal reasons why people are addicted to drugs, substances, and activities. Whichever methods work to combat addictive behaviors in anyone's life should be used as fully and beneficially as possible.
On the SMART Recovery website there is a 'Tool Chest' if you're interested in checking it out:
The SMART Recovery Tool Chest Page
You'll need a PDF Reader to use the free downloadable documents on the SMART Recovery website's Tool Chest page.
If you don't have a PDF Reader, you can grab Adobe products:
ADOBE READER and Other ADOBE PRODUCTS
You should be able to download a free trial/evaluation copy of the Adobe software, however, if you find you can't use the Adobe Reader software - for whatever reasons - here are some other PDF Readers that will work:
VisageSoft eXPert PDF and Other Products
and
Foxit Reader/Software
Now, just to warn you - I've never used the eXPert PDF product, so I can't recommend it highly. I have used the Foxit software and it's really good software, nicely navigable and easy to use. You can get both the latter products for free.
Anyhow - check out the SMART Recovery tools. Even if you're dead-set on 12-Step programs, there are some awesome downloadable 'checklists' and things at the SMART RECOVERY website that are really effective for keeping track of behaviors. 12-Step methods are also about changing behaviors, so it can't hurt to go grab some extra tools!
Let me know how you liked the Smart Recovery site! (It's easy to navigate!)
Saturday, April 7, 2007
The Twelve Steps In My Own Words.
In order to understand ANYTHING, I usually have to define what the Twelve Steps mean to me and use my own words and phrasing to make my head believe that these Twelve Steps are going to work for me.
My words will be in bold.
The Twelve Steps:
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
[I admit to having no control over alcohol - that alcohol controls me. I admit that my life has become CHAOS and that I can no longer live with alcohol present in my life.]
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
[If I trust in the Creator that I believe in, my life can be recovered and the insanity of active-addiction can stop.]
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
[I am not supposed to be in control of everything in the world, much less EVERY single facet of my life. I can stop being a control freak, let the Creator take care of things beyond my control, and show me how to live.]
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
[Search internally for my flaws, my past bad actions, my present flaws, mistakes, and know my true perceptions of the world right up to today.]
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
[Admit my past mistakes, decisions and actions, my past perceptions, understand how I created my own problems or if I did not create some of them - and share this information with someone in order to stay away from 'keeping secrets' and harbouring bad thoughts.]
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
[Be ready for change, make the decisions to MAKE THE CHANGES necessary to become a better person - and - prepare for THE LOSS of things I grew comfortable with even though they were bad for me.]
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
[Know that I can't do all the removal myself where my faults are concerned - ask for help and more importantly, ACCEPT help when it arrives - even if this is uncomfortable at first and comes from unexpected sources.]
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
[Make the list, be honest about who I hurt, and gather the strength to make amends.]
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
[Correct mistakes where possible, and if this is not accepted by some people, make the effort, anyway, to the best of my ability.]
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
[Evaluate self for strengths as well as returning old bad habits and where old habits or new mistakes occur, 'Say Sorry' and mean it - and also resolve to correct.]
11. Sought though prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
[Allow the Creator and those with more knowledge in spiritual matters to help me grow spiritually. This means dedicating time specifically to spiritual matters - and also - responding to new and different spiritual instruction.]
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
[Be visible in matters regarding my recovery - and be helpful wherever 12 Step programs are present in my life - whether it's meetings, talking to other recovering addicts or merely taking care of myself properly so that I can be a good example.]
My words will be in bold.
The Twelve Steps:
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
[I admit to having no control over alcohol - that alcohol controls me. I admit that my life has become CHAOS and that I can no longer live with alcohol present in my life.]
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
[If I trust in the Creator that I believe in, my life can be recovered and the insanity of active-addiction can stop.]
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
[I am not supposed to be in control of everything in the world, much less EVERY single facet of my life. I can stop being a control freak, let the Creator take care of things beyond my control, and show me how to live.]
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
[Search internally for my flaws, my past bad actions, my present flaws, mistakes, and know my true perceptions of the world right up to today.]
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
[Admit my past mistakes, decisions and actions, my past perceptions, understand how I created my own problems or if I did not create some of them - and share this information with someone in order to stay away from 'keeping secrets' and harbouring bad thoughts.]
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
[Be ready for change, make the decisions to MAKE THE CHANGES necessary to become a better person - and - prepare for THE LOSS of things I grew comfortable with even though they were bad for me.]
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
[Know that I can't do all the removal myself where my faults are concerned - ask for help and more importantly, ACCEPT help when it arrives - even if this is uncomfortable at first and comes from unexpected sources.]
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
[Make the list, be honest about who I hurt, and gather the strength to make amends.]
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
[Correct mistakes where possible, and if this is not accepted by some people, make the effort, anyway, to the best of my ability.]
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
[Evaluate self for strengths as well as returning old bad habits and where old habits or new mistakes occur, 'Say Sorry' and mean it - and also resolve to correct.]
11. Sought though prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
[Allow the Creator and those with more knowledge in spiritual matters to help me grow spiritually. This means dedicating time specifically to spiritual matters - and also - responding to new and different spiritual instruction.]
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
[Be visible in matters regarding my recovery - and be helpful wherever 12 Step programs are present in my life - whether it's meetings, talking to other recovering addicts or merely taking care of myself properly so that I can be a good example.]
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